In a Sticky Situation

[kzachar1]

So it’s crazy how I came to this point, but basically I’m dating someone from Nigeria, and we met in December of last year. He is such an amazing guy and I can definitely see us together in the future. However, I don’t know how I’m going to tell my parents at all.
They are highly opinionated and sometimes they don’t listen to my feedback. To make this more sticky, my parents already have a guy in mind that they want me to marry; he is very successful for his age and my mom especially wants me to end up with him. Like, I really have no idea what to do. I am a Christian, and sometimes I feel so guilty that I hid my relationship from my parents for so long. I just don’t know when to tell them, especially when they have another guy in mind. (This is just the tip of the iceberg, I wonder if anyone feels like me because everytime I keep hearing that people in their LDRs told their parents!!!)

[OhioJim]

You probably won't like to hear this, but have you met this guy in person? Or do you mean you met online? Have you actually talked to him or done video chat? Nigeria, and west Africa in general, is a hot spot for online dating scams. If all you have is a name, and maybe a still picture, I would suggest doing a google image search on the picture and see if the same picture is under a different name.

If he checks out as legitimate, then I would suggest prayer and turn the situation over to the Lord. I don't know your cultural background, but here in the USA you are of age and your parents can't dictate who you marry.

[kzachar1]

Thank you for replying! Yes I looked up his name, and we face time very often. He lets me see where he lives and I even met his siblings. He is saving money to get to the Us but it’s a little difficult since the pandemic and that Nigerians are banned from coming here. I pray to God about it all the time and I wonder what he’s saying, and I get all nervous, especially since my parents really want me to be with someone else.

[OhioJim]

Thank you for replying! Yes I looked up his name, and we face time very often. He lets me see where he lives and I even met his siblings. He is saving money to get to the Us but it’s a little difficult since the pandemic and that Nigerians are banned from coming here. I pray to God about it all the time and I wonder what he’s saying, and I get all nervous, especially since my parents really want me to be with someone else.

It sounds like you are approaching the problem from the right direction.

Remember that when you pray about it, make sure you are asking God what he wants not what you want. Then turn it all over to him and ask him to give you peace. My favorite verses for situations like this are Proverbs 3:5,6, and Philippians 4:7. Look them up. Memorize them. And when you feel nervous or anxious keep repeating them to yourself. I know there are a lot of skeptics, but it does work!

[MsGrim]

I am in a similar situation, but on the other side of the relationship. My SOs parents are very religious and have basically tried to arrange his marriage in the past (he obviously has told them no). They know nothing about me currently and we have been together for a little over a year. I see that you are younger so your parents have a much bigger influence on you than our parents do, but you are still at the age to respectfully tell them "no" to this other guy.

If you are not ready to tell them about him, then wait. As OhioJim said, definitely pray about it. I have been praying on my relationship for a while and I can see small changes, I am more relaxed about the situation because I know God has me no matter what. You will know when it is time to tell them.

[kzachar1]

Oh I feel so relieved that I’m not the only one with this situation! I’m definitely praying to God about it and I will work on myself as well. Perhaps when my parents see that I’m becoming more independent financially they can trust me more on navigating my relationships.

[Christophe516]

So it’s crazy how I came to this point, but basically I’m dating someone from Nigeria, and we met in December of last year. He is such an amazing guy and I can definitely see us together in the future. However, I don’t know how I’m going to tell my parents at all.
They are highly opinionated and sometimes they don’t listen to my feedback. To make this more sticky, my parents already have a guy in mind that they want me to marry; he is very successful for his age and my mom especially wants me to end up with him. Like, I really have no idea what to do. I am a Christian, and sometimes I feel so guilty that I hid my relationship from my parents for so long. I just don’t know when to tell them, especially when they have another guy in mind. (This is just the tip of the iceberg, I wonder if anyone feels like me because every time I keep hearing that people in their LDRs told their parents!!!)

1. Have you exchanged pictures?
2a. If you have exchanged pictures.
2b. Have you researched the validity of the pictures?

I am asking these questions, from personal experience.

I met someone on a Russian dating site eons ago. Their language in their communication, kept changing. I also started to notice, the photo showing up everywhere, on different profiles. They also kept asking me to send them $. I had someone check them out. My hunch was correct. I almost got scammed.

[kzachar1]

Thank you for asking! Yes we have exchanged multiple pictures, and we also FaceTime at least once a week. I can see what he looks like from every angle lol. I also looked up his name and I haven’t found anything suspicious.

[kzachar1]

Thanks! The verses you recommended happen to be my favorite!