Working and army

[Lina]

Hello.
I'm 23 years old and I'm from Romania. My bf is from Korea and we are together since 1 year and some months. We've met just once for a month and I can say that was the best month of my entire life. Of course, we planed to met more often but, you know, corona virus. We basically facetime all time, even fall asleep together, sending gifts throw the post office, watching movies, tv series and play games together, sometimes we have small discussions but we know how to talk to each other in a way that I think we can resolve everything. Our parents really support us and for this we are very grateful. I want to mention the fact that I am not a kpop fan or whatever, and we met throw some common friends, it was very unexpected - starting as friends and becoming more closer. The problem is here: I will finish university in a month and I want, of course, to get a job; my bf is forced to go to army for 2 years and I'm very ok with that, in these years I can grow a lot and we can move together like we already planed, but my friends are really against us saying that I am a kid with many dreams and illusions, that I must find a man in my country/town and start to work more for my future family, because I am to old for this stupid way of thinking, I am ruining my life, I am wasting my time and I will regret. These kind of things really put me in a really bad mood and sometimes I'm starting to be mad at my bf because of these toxic thoughts that they implement in my brain. I would like to get some advice for people that got throw this already, or just some advices. I'm sorry if my English is not so good.
Thank you for listening me!

[Atlantic Crossroads]

Hello and welcome.

I had an unpleasant experience with a weekly counsellor of mine a couple of years ago, telling me my long distance relationship wasn't real and wasn't romantic because we hadn't yet met. It really upset me, and I fell into a depression because of it. I didn't see her for 7 weeks, and eventually wrote her a letter saying that I would not be seeing her again. She has since left that place.
I'm very fortunate in that that has been my only negative encounter with others about my relationship to date. Everyone else I know has been happy for me, and been supportive and immensely curious; especially in the run-up to our first visit.

My advice would be to ignore the negative people, and make your own choices and decisions about your life. They don't get to live it for you, and who knows what you will gain from the experience. I definitely understand feeling awkward with your boyfriend, as I retreated from mine quite a bit too during those 7 weeks. But I didn't let that unpleasant woman's judgement decide my relationship for me. Only you can make that choice, and if your parents support and you're happy, then I'd say carry on.

[Lina]

Thank you!

His friends are also very supportive and excited about our relationship, but I dont understand why being a girl can influence this situation, because almost everyone around me is against it.
Thank you so much for your advice!

[vivid_idea]

Hello

It's not unusual for people in our day-to-day lives to judge our relationships, mostly because they don't understand them. LDRs are very unique, and it is a different way to grow close with someone. Just remember, your relationship is important and special to you both. It does not matter what your friends say. It sounds like what they are telling you is fuelled by negative feelings and not facts anyway. I hope you can continue to enjoy getting to know your bf and support each other. If you really love each other and want to be together, then you will find a way. Don't worry, you are still young and have plenty of time to figure things out.

If you feel alone or like nobody understands, I recommend reaching out through this forum. There are lots of kind people here who will be happy to offer support.