Hey there
I am in a long distance relationship with my partner and I’m struggling to figure out my feelings. He had to move away to work for 6 months starting April 2020 and won’t be back until late October 2020. In September 2020 we will be two years officially together. He’s so far away, I would have to drive 12 hrs to see him.
When he first left, I was enthusiastic about making this work, we talked very often and sent pictures and had video chats. Loneliness has started to sink in now, I am struggling to accept all this empty space around me. It gets to me so much, most of the time now I dread talking on the phone because hearing his voice makes me sad because i miss him but for him it’s a treat because he misses me. He says he looks at our pictures all the time and I can’t bear to look at any because it hurts too much. We used to be together every single day, then went cold turkey. And it’s not his fault, I am very happy he went to pursue a desire and will keep supporting him. I’ve just never been in a long distance relationship, I don’t know what to with myself.
When I really think about it, and try to be honest with myself, it’s almost like in order to cope and normalize the loneliness, I am beginning to get over him and finding happiness with being just by myself again.
I know that many might suggest that alone time is essential and normal, I totally agree. However, I feel like I am liking it just being me again. Or perhaps that’s just a floating thought, I’m not sure if what I feel is concrete yet.
I feel conflicted because I feel like our relationship was very stable before he left. He has helped me great deal emotionally and I am very grateful. But I know that I shouldnt stay in a relationship out of obligation. I know that I am the one with wavering feelings, he even expressed himself the slight worry that he might come back and I won’t feel the same. Please note he didn’t say WE’LL feel the same, I know he loves me dearly and is probably holding onto this relationship tighter than I am at the moment.
What I’m asking for advice is how can I determine if this is just a temporary moment of weakness on my part or am I subconsciously moving on to be happy?
I am in a long distance relationship with my partner and I’m struggling to figure out my feelings. He had to move away to work for 6 months starting April 2020 and won’t be back until late October 2020. In September 2020 we will be two years officially together. He’s so far away, I would have to drive 12 hrs to see him.
When he first left, I was enthusiastic about making this work, we talked very often and sent pictures and had video chats. Loneliness has started to sink in now, I am struggling to accept all this empty space around me. It gets to me so much, most of the time now I dread talking on the phone because hearing his voice makes me sad because i miss him but for him it’s a treat because he misses me. He says he looks at our pictures all the time and I can’t bear to look at any because it hurts too much. We used to be together every single day, then went cold turkey. And it’s not his fault, I am very happy he went to pursue a desire and will keep supporting him. I’ve just never been in a long distance relationship, I don’t know what to with myself.
When I really think about it, and try to be honest with myself, it’s almost like in order to cope and normalize the loneliness, I am beginning to get over him and finding happiness with being just by myself again.
I know that many might suggest that alone time is essential and normal, I totally agree. However, I feel like I am liking it just being me again. Or perhaps that’s just a floating thought, I’m not sure if what I feel is concrete yet.
I feel conflicted because I feel like our relationship was very stable before he left. He has helped me great deal emotionally and I am very grateful. But I know that I shouldnt stay in a relationship out of obligation. I know that I am the one with wavering feelings, he even expressed himself the slight worry that he might come back and I won’t feel the same. Please note he didn’t say WE’LL feel the same, I know he loves me dearly and is probably holding onto this relationship tighter than I am at the moment.
What I’m asking for advice is how can I determine if this is just a temporary moment of weakness on my part or am I subconsciously moving on to be happy?
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