What cultural differences are you facing?

[Junglebook]

So, since my culture and my bf culture seems like night and day there are a lot of things that I have to get used to and never experienced before.
And I’ll bet I am not the only one.
So my question is; what cultural differences are you facing?

I’ll start:
All... These... Traditions!
Ceremonies when a baby gets born (it takes like 5 months before all the ceremonies are done).
And then ceremonies when someone passed away. That takes 3 years of ceremonies.
Ceremonies and rituals when you get married. And I can go on with this for awhile.

I am not used to all these traditions. For example. Not leaving the house for 5 weeks after you give birth. I do not get why they do that and my bf can’t explain it either haha.

I just go with the flow and celebrate with them the best I can.

[MsGrim]

I haven't been able to experience anything as his parents don't know about me yet lol. All that I have gathered for now is that they celebrate their holidays on different days. Their Christmas is about a month after ours, their Easter is a few weeks after ours. Which is kinda cool because if we get to that point in life, we will be able to spend the holidays with both families since they aren't celebrated on the same day. I know they are super religious but again, idk to what extent.

Relationships aren't something that is normally discussed with his family which is completely opposite of my loving but nosy family!! They seem to be more reserved... like A LOT compared to my family.

[OhioJim]

I haven't seen any cultural differences yet.

Except for the food.

Can't wait to try it!

[Junglebook]

@MsGrim: I have never heard that Christmas and eastern are celebrated on different dates. But it comes in handy though when it comes to spending the holidays.

I can feel you on that last part. My bf’s family is also not very interested in our relationship. Although they know who I am and I have met all of them they never show up when I am around. They never ask about me or anything. While he is always with his cousins and uncle when I am back in the Netherlands.
My family is the total opposite of that. My parents want to know everything about him. The congratulate him on his birthday. They call when I am there so they can talk with him for awhile. It’s so different. My mum and stepdad came with me to visit him, we spend a lot of time all together but I don’t believe his family will do that in return someday.

[Junglebook]

I haven't seen any cultural differences yet.

Except for the food.

Can't wait to try it!

I just looked through your profile. Have you every visited the Philippines?
I remember watching the 90 day fiancé show on tv. There was this girl from the Philippines and the man was having such a hard time dealing with, well everything haha.
I have never been there so I can’t say anything about it.

And the food part; new food is always a good idea. I like to try new food. I do that a lot in Suriname. My bf is a great cook, so I am very lucky haha.

[OhioJim]

I just looked through your profile. Have you every visited the Philippines?
I remember watching the 90 day fiancé show on tv. There was this girl from the Philippines and the man was having such a hard time dealing with, well everything haha.
I have never been there so I can’t say anything about it.

And the food part; new food is always a good idea. I like to try new food. I do that a lot in Suriname. My bf is a great cook, so I am very lucky haha.

No I have never been in the Philippines.

To clarify, my SO is a US citizen but her mother is Filipina, so my SO knows all the recipes. Her just describing them makes my mouth water!

[Junglebook]

No I have never been in the Philippines.

To clarify, my SO is a US citizen but her mother is Filipina, so my SO knows all the recipes. Her just describing them makes my mouth water!

Aah oké, I’ll get it! Sorry for the misunderstanding!

[autumn1790]

My SO and I eloped a year ago today. Nobody on his side of the world knows anything about it, and his family is strongly opposed to him being with me. They refuse to even talk to me on the phone. I don't have anything on my social media about him--him, my husband that all my family and friends know about-- because his family would be hugely upset. I think it's partly cultural--a lot of American families might not approve of their child's choice but they live and let live eventually. His family doesn't even question their right as parents to control his life decisions no matter how old he is.

[Junglebook]

My SO and I eloped a year ago today. Nobody on his side of the world knows anything about it, and his family is strongly opposed to him being with me. They refuse to even talk to me on the phone. I don't have anything on my social media about him--him, my husband that all my family and friends know about-- because his family would be hugely upset. I think it's partly cultural--a lot of American families might not approve of their child's choice but they live and let live eventually. His family doesn't even question their right as parents to control his life decisions no matter how old he is.

Wow, that’s very upsetting! I just feel very sorry for you both. I have respect for the fact that you both decided to stay with each other. Like family means a lot to many of us. And not being accepted and for your husband knowing his wife is not accepteer must have been tough, I think.

I hope you are doing well and enjoy your life together.

[vivid_idea]

I find the cultural differences in my relationship equally fascinating and frustrating!

We don't have huge cultural differences like religion, but we definitely have differences in our approach and way to talk about things that I think boils down to a cultural difference. It has caused a lot of tension in the past, but we both persevere and we get better at understanding one another.

He grew up in East Germany and I feel he is quite serious and direct and also a very private person. Whereas I grew up in Australia and I am very easy-going, not serious and I can be quite loose with privacy. These things feel very strange to him and we have had to go thru a lot just to understand one another.

I enjoy learning about each other and how our life experiences have shaped us and growing stronger together because of it. I know we love each other and will continue to try to learn and grow and adjust to each other, no matter what.

[MsGrim]

his family is strongly opposed to him being with me. They refuse to even talk to me on the phone..

I am quite scared of this happening to me. I adore his family and I dont even know them lol.. I really want the chance to get to know them but I honestly think this will be a hard task to complete because of how closed off they are with each other.. let alone a stranger their son met online that claims she loves him. Yikes!

Does anyone have any stories about their SO meeting their family (or vice versa?) My family is so open and loud lol which is completely opposite of my SO and I'm not sure how he would handle their energy. We haven't talked about him meeting the family when he comes to visit.. I guess we need to have a chat about it though. Its pretty exciting and nerve wracking at the same time.

[vivid_idea]

My SO is more reserved than I am. My kids are quite loud and "free". When he came here and met them it was super super challenging. My kids felt uncomfortable because of the situation and my SO felt uncomfortable because my kids did not make it easy for the two of us. I also did not handle the situation that well.

At least you don't have to manage your relationship with kids involved. Hopefully his parents will be a bit easier to deal with, lol!

[MsGrim]

At least you don't have to manage your relationship with kids involved

I do! lol.. I have a 6 year old daughter. Our last major discussion on our relationship involved him expressing his feelings on how he is concerned about a relationship with her. He is worried that he will have to answer "where is my real dad, why did he leave" etc. Obviously he has nothing to worry about because her and I have had these discussions a bunch so she is pretty understanding of the situation.

Being a step parent is a big role to fill and I can't blame him for having these reservations. They haven't met yet, and idk if this will happen any time soon. Our relationship moves like molasses on a cold day, but I'm okay with that for now. We have some obstacles to maneuver before we start talking about meeting the family.

[vivid_idea]

I never picked up on you having a daughter!! And I have read quite a lot of your posts! My apologies, but now I know, and won't forget!

"Our relationship moves like molasses on a cold day" - hahaha I like this one. God I feel the same way sometimes.

It's nice to know there are others with kids who are doing this LDR thing. I sometimes feel pretty overwhelmed with how to manage everyone.

[MsGrim]

Its daunting to think about!! I dont want to introduce them until him and I are 100% certain about our future; we're making progress at least. It's becoming more real for me.