Lost feelings for me in lock down, met her recently
I've known this girl for over a year and for over a year we've become closer and developed strong feelings for eachother. We met about once every month or every two months for a full evening as our families are friends and we live 2 hours away from each other. In January when I saw her we hadn't told each other that we really really liked one another but we were pretty close. We talked online regularly but only texted, we didn't call or facetime because we were too shy, and in March we confessed our feelings for one another. It had been two months since we had interacted with each other in anything more than person, and I noticed that her feelings began to slip from April and I was devastated, I became obssessed with meeting her and developed some mental health issues over her, my feelings for her were still strong. They kept on slipping away and she replied less and less to my texts over time, and they became less and less intimate. In June, she told me that her feelings had essentially vanished, but she said the main reason was the distance, and that if she met me again at some point they probably would come back. I stopped talking to her then because I needed some distance and I didn't talk for a full month before meeting her.
Well, now it's July and I saw her on the weekend, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. The moment she walked into the room it was incredibly surreal, it was like I had had an entire relationship with this person purely online over the last six months and I was so excited to meet her again, because I genuinely convinced myself she would like me again. We basically acted like absolutely nothing happened, and all the chemistry and excitement we once had was nonexistent. Not once did we address anything that happened between us and she was like a stranger to me who I knew so well. What was even weirder, was when I looked at her at first I didn't feel anything, no excitement or spark, because I didn't know how to address anything and the awkwardness was unbearable. Now my feelings hadn't faded at all, if I look at a picture of her now it would be incredibly painful and I want her so bad, and through the course of the evening, I began to feel that spark for her and recognized that I cared for her but she elicited no signs of attraction to me at all. She later told me over text that she didn't feel anything, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. What I really need to know is why wasn't she attracted to me when she used to be? Why did we have no chemistry like we used to have? And why did she feel nothing even though she expected to? I'm absolutely crestfallen and I feel like I need closure to move on or get her back, but those aren't really questions she can answer herself. I'm just so incredibly confused and tormented if she wanted me before and was attracted to me six months ago, why isn't she now? I look the same, I'm the same person. It really really hurts and I just need to know how to overcome this. I'm also confused as to why when I first saw her I felt nothing, but I did begin to feel more later on in the evening. Surely if we were attracted to each other before and we had magical chemistry then that can come back? Was there something stopping it from coming back? Was it the awkwardness maybe, I don't think it was entirely because she had moved on and forgotten because prior to our meeting she was talking to a mutual friend about seeing me and maybe liking me again. Should I be friends with her and hope that the awkwardness will dissolve and she'll recognize why she liked me? It felt like something was blocking us from being more than friends again and resparking that chemistry.
Well, now it's July and I saw her on the weekend, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. The moment she walked into the room it was incredibly surreal, it was like I had had an entire relationship with this person purely online over the last six months and I was so excited to meet her again, because I genuinely convinced myself she would like me again. We basically acted like absolutely nothing happened, and all the chemistry and excitement we once had was nonexistent. Not once did we address anything that happened between us and she was like a stranger to me who I knew so well. What was even weirder, was when I looked at her at first I didn't feel anything, no excitement or spark, because I didn't know how to address anything and the awkwardness was unbearable. Now my feelings hadn't faded at all, if I look at a picture of her now it would be incredibly painful and I want her so bad, and through the course of the evening, I began to feel that spark for her and recognized that I cared for her but she elicited no signs of attraction to me at all. She later told me over text that she didn't feel anything, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. What I really need to know is why wasn't she attracted to me when she used to be? Why did we have no chemistry like we used to have? And why did she feel nothing even though she expected to? I'm absolutely crestfallen and I feel like I need closure to move on or get her back, but those aren't really questions she can answer herself. I'm just so incredibly confused and tormented if she wanted me before and was attracted to me six months ago, why isn't she now? I look the same, I'm the same person. It really really hurts and I just need to know how to overcome this. I'm also confused as to why when I first saw her I felt nothing, but I did begin to feel more later on in the evening. Surely if we were attracted to each other before and we had magical chemistry then that can come back? Was there something stopping it from coming back? Was it the awkwardness maybe, I don't think it was entirely because she had moved on and forgotten because prior to our meeting she was talking to a mutual friend about seeing me and maybe liking me again. Should I be friends with her and hope that the awkwardness will dissolve and she'll recognize why she liked me? It felt like something was blocking us from being more than friends again and resparking that chemistry.
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