I am confused and don't know what to do

[binta]

I have been in a long-distance relationship with this guy for 4 years. He lives in morocco and I live in Australia. He is 27 and works I a tele market and I am 22 work part time and a law student. We meet on ig in 2016 and meet up in Bali in 2018 I paid for the hotels, food and activities. Since we have been dating I send him money 6/7 times a year because he is always struggling to pay bills and sometimes goes on for 2 days with no food. he is a really caring guy and loves me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. He is trying to make ends meet but it’s been 4 years and we are stuck in the same cycle. In 2019 we planned to meet up in Bali again but he didn’t have money so he asked me to pay for his ticket 2k plus mine, the accommodations and activities. 2 years ago we planned to start putting money aside for that we can apply for the visa for him to come live here it cost $7k and he has not saved a single penny for it, on his birthday I always send him gifts, since we been dating his only bought me a keychain, watch and perfume and I just feel like I am contributed to the relationship way more and just left myself. I would take out my savings and send him. But I know if he was in a better position he would be spoiling me and doing the same but I am losing hope in the relationship but I don’t want to seem selfish because he is trying but just not enough. I need to start thinking about my future and what is good for me. He once said to me that I am a very god patient person because no woman would be patient with a man like him for this long and that he is scared that I will lose my patience and find someone in Australia that will treat me the way I deserved to be treated and I feel guilty and bad that he may be right that my patience are running out because lately I have been to stressed over the whole relationship and I am only 22 and cannot keep supporting him financially. What should I do? Am I being selfish ?

[MsGrim]

This doesn't sound like you two are compatible. You are not being selfish and it sounds like you are being used honestly. I was once married to a man who was reckless with money. We were trying to buy a house and I saved like my life depended on it and he... well... lets just say spending $200+ on a mobile game was perfectly okay in his mind; meanwhile he had $0 in his savings account. Needless to say, I was mentally and financially drained coming out of that marriage.

Relationships are supposed to be fun and exciting, but it sounds like you are drained from it like I was. Stressed. Not enjoying it anymore. Is this okay with you? How do you think things will play out if you ever decided to close the distance?

[Danielle43]

I understand that in essence, he may be a good man and life is just not kind to him. However, i think that this should not be your burden. You are too young to be in such a stressful relationship. Being LDR is hard enough. Adding financial problems to that is just too much at this point.
Youve already began to doubt your decisions regarding money with him. That should be a really strong warning for you.
I honestly feel like its time to be selfish and put yourself first now. Youve spent 4 years on this and the relationship is still very questionable. That should really make you think.