Bit of a crisis!

[Rach321]

We do care!

I wish you the best. I hope that he'll realize what he's missing out on by behaving the ways he does. It does seem like he cares about you, but he must really struggle with being close to you (or anyone). Just be sure to think about what you really need in a relationship. If he's not providing it and is not willing to work on himself, then it doesn't really matter how much you care about him. You should be happy too. (sorry if that sounds harsh... I really don't mean it to be!)

[uk_girl]

Hmmmmm it's weird.

He's said he has "accidentally hidden me as I wanted my info hidden. It's just hidden it all. So f*cking sorry" So I replied he could have unticked the 'interested in' and 'looking for' boxes and kept me as I was.

So I've explained my reasons as to why I'm upset and been told to "Grow up. I can't be doing with this anymore I really can't. I've had more than enough of this sh*t off you"

So now it is my fault?!?!?!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I agree with everything that's been said (especially the us caring part ) and I do think maybe it's a commitment problems issue, that or an unbalanced effort/affection thing. The perspectives I would give on those have already been given, so I'll give a different point of view. XD Be sure you do thoroughly talk this out with him. My SO is VERY quiet and not really good at being cute, he can be clueless and sometimes he doesn't realize I'm upset, I feel like I'm talking all the time. So, at first glance, definitely seems like I'm giving all the effort. But he and I have discussed it and it helped so much, I realized that it's not that I express more affection, it's that he expresses it differently. This could or could not be the case, but I definitely can't urge you to discuss it enough. Make sure you stay calm, though. (That makes it sound like you have anger issues. XD I think you should "law down the law", so to speak, but do it... gently? I hope you get what I mean. >.>) "Arguments" always turn out better when both parties are civil, or, if he isn't willing to be civil, one party it. ^_^

[uk_girl]

It's annoying as I'm now even starting to doubt myself. I don't know if I'm being OTT?!

But then I think - he's said it was purely accdental - so why not sort it out and stop this argument?

I've even told him what he needs to do FFS! Go on your info tab, click 'edit' and untick the 'looking for' and 'interested in' boxes and he can delete the family link to his brother's profile? Yet he hasn't done that.

And why was it that specific section of information he wanted hidden? Why's he not hidden the 'about me', 'interests' etc. etc.?

So annoying.

[uk_girl]

Looks like we've agreed to amicably split via MSN.

I've said I'm ok with it, cos you know what...I really think I need to.

I'm 20 years old, got my whole life ahead of me, cannot wait to be committed to a guy I love, have his kids, settle down, be a mum, have a great career...

Right now, I'm in a relationship with a guy who doesn't seem to care, doesn't want to see me on Valentines Day let alone commit further, has never lived with any long-term gf, hides me from his former 'bed buddy' who is his best female friend...

Though I know, that if he does come running - I'll probably take him back Need to be strong, or at least get a rock solid change in him. Though all his ex's have failed - I can't see me being different...

Thanks for your help guys Bit upset but not as bad as I thought!!!

[Jackie]

Ouch, I'm so sorry to hear about the split. From what I take from the previous posts though, it does seem to me that it was probably for the best. I mean, you shouldn't have to waste your time and effort on someone who obviously doesn't care one bit about it. And you don't have to take him back girl! You deserve someone who is going to treat you like his queen, and that guy is definitely waiting out their for you. Like you said, you have your whole life ahead of you... don't feel like you have to settle with this one guy just because he can't figure out what he wants to do. He had his chance, and he blew it.

It'd be totally awesome if you continued to stick around though! That is, if it doesn't bother you or make you upset or anything to come here. Like mentioned earlier, we all care so much about you, and you're a great friend!

[Mio]

Jackie said it all! I wish you a speedy recovery from this, and look forward, there a lot of fish in the sea!

Best wishes!

[Rach321]

Though I know, that if he does come running - I'll probably take him back Need to be strong, or at least get a rock solid change in him.

Yes! Keep reminding yourself of this!

I'm happy that you feel ok about it- I know it won't be easy. You put a lot of time and energy into this relationship. But you really do deserve to be in a relationship where you feel secure and happy!!!

[uk_girl]

Ouch, I'm so sorry to hear about the split. From what I take from the previous posts though, it does seem to me that it was probably for the best. I mean, you shouldn't have to waste your time and effort on someone who obviously doesn't care one bit about it. And you don't have to take him back girl! You deserve someone who is going to treat you like his queen, and that guy is definitely waiting out their for you. Like you said, you have your whole life ahead of you... don't feel like you have to settle with this one guy just because he can't figure out what he wants to do. He had his chance, and he blew it.

It'd be totally awesome if you continued to stick around though! That is, if it doesn't bother you or make you upset or anything to come here. Like mentioned earlier, we all care so much about you, and you're a great friend!

Thanks Jackie. I'd be glad to stick around no worries Might be a bit tough at first and emotional but we'll see how it goes And then maybe if another relationship doesn't last (touch wood that they all will!) then I could help the member move on by reflecting on my experiences when I am a stronger, more settled individual

Jackie said it all! I wish you a speedy recovery from this, and look forward, there a lot of fish in the sea!

Best wishes!

Thank you Mio

Yes! Keep reminding yourself of this!

I'm happy that you feel ok about it- I know it won't be easy. You put a lot of time and energy into this relationship. But you really do deserve to be in a relationship where you feel secure and happy!!!

Thanks Rach and I've finally accepted it - after probably 6months-year of putting more effort and time in there.

I think I will look for a CDR in future, though I didn't plan to fall for J - it just happened and I wouldn't let distance get in the way of my feelings in the future either.

Thanks once again guys - you're all awesome!

[Taija]

I'm sorry to hear about the break up, but I think you made the right decision. Even if you did love him with all your heart, it was clear that you were not happy in the relationship - and no one can blame you, you deserve better than that.

I bet it'll be tough for you to get used to the single life again, since you were together for 2 years, but try to stay strong! I know you can get through this. *hugs*

[uk_girl]

I'm sorry to hear about the break up, but I think you made the right decision. Even if you did love him with all your heart, it was clear that you were not happy in the relationship - and no one can blame you, you deserve better than that.

I bet it'll be tough for you to get used to the single life again, since you were together for 2 years, but try to stay strong! I know you can get through this. *hugs*

Thanks Taija

I know I can get through it too. Gonna be tough though as all my friends are in relationships and obviously Valentines day is just around the corner. I already bought some stuff too

[Andy]

Thanks Taija

I know I can get through it too. Gonna be tough though as all my friends are in relationships and obviously Valentines day is just around the corner. I already bought some stuff too

Awwwww no

I'm sorry to hear you split up

I can only echo what's been said already tbh. Maybe it was for the best, as you were putting almost all the effort into the relationship, it certainly sounds like he has some big commitment issues too. Maybe a break will change him but if not, like you said you're young and you've got your life ahead of you

We're all here for you whenever you need us

[fcbella]

I'm really sorry to hear about this, but like everyone has said already.. it's better to be single then in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship.

I say take Valentines as a day to pamper yourself head to toe. In this world relationships tend to end quite commonly (99% of the time for good reason!).. but we are always stuck with ourselves! Might as well take the day falling in love with yourself that much more!! (a polite way of saying be selfish! You deserve it!) Plus, you have TONS of valentines here at LFAD!

<3 Keep smilin' darlin

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Aww, I'm sorry it ended this way. </3 But I think it was for the best, I really do. And yesss, by all means take Valentine's Day as a day for yourself!

I would have a more creative response, but again, everything's been said already. XD Haha.

[uk_girl]

Thanks guys.

Been weird in that he's been much more attentive and texting me without me bothering him first, than he has been in the past year!

He was shocked that I took it so well and asked me if I'd got someone else lined up as I wasn't 'gutted' like I usually am when we argue.

Keeps wanting to know where I am and what I am doing?! Weird.