New and feel hope is lost.

[MyCaptain]

Hi-
My name is Sue and I don’t know what me and my partner are lol. Long story short... We both are in our 40’s. I’m 47 he’s 43. Will be 44 in November. We used to work for the same place ( education) we dated off and on but got closer this past year- really close like getting more vulnerable and learning about one another. I knew there was a possibility of him leaving as he wanted to get back to his kids and in admin. He moved 2.5 almost 3 hours away- his kids are 20, 17, 16- he’s very close to them. His mom lives an hour away.

In July we discussed kinda what would happen if he left? I broke down and expressed to him that this was more than just “physical” we had a connection and it was strong. He agreed and said I was so important to him and that it was no big deal he would visit.

Well- it’s been since July and we haven’t seen one another. New job, crazy hours, kids on wknds etc. he’s expressed to me that he just doesn’t have time to see me! And I think he’s getting down and losing hope. HELP.

Last night- I noticed I sent some flirty texts and he didn’t engage. I said do you want to do those things with me? His reply: yeah. If I were closer.

Is this the end? I replied that we needed to schedule a weekend, day, night whatever to see each other- of course I got nothing.

I can’t lose him. Please help! Men or women’s comments welcomed

[MsGrim]

I couldn't tell you if this is the end or not, only you two can determine that. It does sound like he is checking out of the relationship though.

2.5/3 hours is not that far. Frequent visits are definitely possible. My SO used to live 5.5 hours away and I was still able to see him every 2-4 weeks for a weekend at a time; I am a single mom with a full time job and my SO is a busy med student. I am sure you two could make it work if he really wanted to.

Maybe ask him to just give the distance a try. Ask him to give you a chance to prove that it can work, because it definitely can!! Best of luck to you!

[amm7s]

I couldn't tell you if this is the end or not, only you two can determine that. It does sound like he is checking out of the relationship though.

2.5/3 hours is not that far. Frequent visits are definitely possible. My SO used to live 5.5 hours away and I was still able to see him every 2-4 weeks for a weekend at a time; I am a single mom with a full time job and my SO is a busy med student. I am sure you two could make it work if he really wanted to.

Maybe ask him to just give the distance a try. Ask him to give you a chance to prove that it can work, because it definitely can!! Best of luck to you!

This is my response, almost to the word.

As someone who's relationship is about to become international, I *wish I could be just 3 hours away. It doesn't sound like he has much desire to put much effort into the situation.

However, just directly asking him to try distance will clear matters up for you. Either he agrees, and you get what you want, or he doesn't agree and you can be set free and move on.

Good luck to you.

[MyCaptain]

I ended up sending him a video of me live telling him to have a good day and we will make some time soon to get together. It was just a silly video to make him laugh etc. he did say he’s been a little down lately-

He did text last night that he was at his sons football game and his sons scores.
Said he was feeling better. No comment on my video, but he’s not a emotional men lol he’s so logical. I’m the emotional wear my heart on the sleeve type!

Yea, we do need to talk but this weekend isn’t probably the best time. Due to kids, games etc