Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How many of you would work past looks at the first meeting is there was love

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How many of you would work past looks at the first meeting is there was love

    My SO and I finally met after a year. We grew our relationship and started to make plans for me to move soon. He always said he was crazy about me and would be lost without me.
    We even talked about my insecurities body wise. I sent pics so he would not be shocked about my tummy after babies. He said he still liked me inside and out and I didn't change anything.

    The first meeting comes. We meet at the hotel and he immediately kisses me. We moved to the sofa talked a bit then things happened. After we lay in bed hold each other and talk a bit. Although it's a bit awkward still. Then after we decided to go to eat.

    Now we are at the restaurant and still a bit awkward but I didn't want to art the bar too high because of nerves and all. We finish and head back. He puts his hand in my legs in the car ride back but pulls away after a few minutes. We drive and he says he's tired from the drive down all day and is going to bed. We lay and held each but then he rolls over and turns his back to me. Then I do the same. I can tell he's not asleep but just saying there. Now here's where im confused.

    He had planned on staying all week. We planned things to do. He also told me if I needed to leave and come back due to having obligation to my kids he understands. Well, my daughter calls and has started her period and needed pads. She is 18 but doesn't drive and is there with her younger brother. Anyhow, I get up and have to leave. I grab my stuff and take it all. He gets up with me and just stands there and said I knew something like this would happen. We agree just to meet back up at 7 am the next morning because of im 30 minutes from the hotel.

    At 4 am I get a text that he is checking out and heading to his army buddy's house to visit which he had planned on doing anyhow. He told me he didn't foresee himself wanting to see me anymore. I was devastated. This man had been overly excited to see me and had told me he foresaw us once meeting would be great for a long time to come. And that it was going to be the most memorable event in his life. He told me I was his world and seemed so into me up until we met in person.

    What went wrong? Was it my looks or personality? What made him change his heart so suddenly? I loved him. He had a chance to come back thru but didn't want to. The last text from him said I was amazing at what I do in life but we were not meant to be plain and simple and to plz never talk to him again ever. I just don't understand.

    #2
    Oh I am so sorry to read this post. This must be heartbreaking for you. Big hugs.

    Perhaps the reality of the situation set in for him and he didn't know how to handle it. He might have built up a particular fantasy in his head and when it wasn't exactly how he pictured it, it freaked him out. There could be any number of reasons why he had a change of heart. I think for all of us who have spoken for a long time without meeting, there is always that anxiety that it won't work out in person. This is because it is impossible to know for sure that the chemistry will be there in real life.

    For me, the love definitely overrides the looks, but I think it is still very important to find each other attractive. Love helps to build physical attraction for sure.

    I think he is a coward for not properly talking this through with you, even if it was uncomfortable for him. A year is a long time to hope for something together. He definitely owed you an explanation so that you could eliminate all this awful doubt in your mind. I know it's really hard, but he can't have really loved you if he was able to treat you like this.

    You will find someone who really does value you and would never do something like this to you! Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. And then move on.
    "The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again".
    -Charles Dickens

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you. I know I've got like three posts in here but im not dealing with his rejection well. I just need words of encouragement and people who understand. Thank you for your time to answer me back.

      Comment


        #4
        Sorry to hear this! I think that a lot of us (certainly myself) would find this rejection hard. I also agree that you deserve an explanation. We always lay the blame on ourselves, but it could also be that he is anxious about feeling like he doesn't match up and then bottled it. I hope that you are able to take some time for some self care activities x


        Comment


          #5
          Dear Jenmar75,

          I read all of your 3 post.
          I don’t know honestly what happened but I believe you!
          In my point of you this man is a coward and doesn’t deserve you.

          He’s just so disrespectful he should at least explain you what happened but I’m facing the same situation I’ve been in a relationship 1 and a half year And I didn’t even get a proper closure and just ignored me that’s it!

          Try to talk with him ask him straight away what happened I did the same and got no reply so you could try at least, nothing to lose ...
          Best wishes,
          Hajni

          Comment

          Working...
          X