Can't stop thinkin about her past and jealous a lot

[LostKid04]

Okay so quickly I'll just explain my situation.



I'm (boy 17) and I have a girlfriend (19). We met online and we're in a long distant relationship. We've been together for 9 months now. I'm very jealous when other guys talk to her and it's really bothering me. We call everyday 24/7, we sleep on the call, we go to school on the call, we go out on the call etc. etc. Every time when she's out and I hear her laugh or smile I get jealous a lot. A lot of guys talk to her and she makes them clear she has a boyfriend and she's not interested but guys keep trying and it's making me jealous a lot. The other day she was buying something and there was a guy behind the counter and he slipped her his phone number even to she told him she's not interested and she has a boyfriend.

I'm young and I've never had a girlfriend, neither have I ever done anything with a girl, kissed, sex etc.. She has experiences with guys but she's still a virgin. She told me stuff about her past even though she didn't want to. I kind of pushed her to say it because I thought I would feel better if all my questions were answered. Now she told me she had some sexual experiences with guys and I just can't stop thinking about it. I know it effects her a lot when I talk about it so I hide it but she can tell I'm sad. Guys please I'm in desperate need of help. I love this girl a lot and I want to end up with her. I just want us to be happy and live a peaceful life but her past and this jealousy is killing me inside. I just can't forget even though I know its the past and you can't change it. Every time I think about it It's like there is a movie playing in my head of her with well... other guys. I feel cheated on or something? I feel like the guys before her didn't really love her and were there just for fun and experienced this first time with her when I really wanted to be the first guy? I don't know what's wrong with me and it's hard for me to exaplain but if anyone is able to help me out, please!

[Christina123]

Trust is something you will have to have in a LDR. Aside from when you are together you are living separately in lots of ways. She will speak with other men. She cannot cut half the population out of her life.

It sounds like she’s not doing anything wrong. She’s been open and honest with you, and with other people. Re: her past, that has nothing to do with you to be honest. It’s her past. Hopefully, you can be her future.

[autumn1790]

Long distance or not, no healthy relationship is attached at the hip 24/7 like that. People need to have their own space and their own lives. My sister used to date a long distance guy who was super insecure and jealous and made her stay on the phone with him 24/7 and eventually she was so smothered by the relationship she broke up with him.

What is your girlfriend getting out of your constant jealousy and control? I realize jealousy is a difficult emotion to control. My husband used to majorly struggle with it as well. However, it is not impossible, and I would strongly urge you to look up resources to help you get this under control before you possibly cause permanent damage to your relationship. Is agonizing over something your gf did not want to tell you but you forced her to (note: learn boundaries. She has the right to not want to talk about her past. Stop forcing her to do anything) worth possibly losing her forever?

[D_M]

I agree with the above... and I think you do too.
You know your GF is doing nothing wrong and that your jealous feelings are misplaced but you feel unable to rein them in. Find some resources that talk on this subject. Google the internet, or go to a library, but I would also consider some counselling - often a professional can just offer some practical steps to achieve what you need/want and give you that extra support to get over it. Because you do need to get over this jealousy or else it will destroy your relationship.
I know it's hard but you can do it. Good luck.