Feeling weak in LDR emotionally

[8AnnaAdam8]

I'll try to be short. My boyfriend is from India and I am from Hungary. We've been together for nearly 9 months now and we love each other so much (we have future plans as well, we are in serious relationship). We'll close the distance in 5 years, our first meeting can be only in 2 years (our reasons are mostly financial and family connected).
We both have frustrations of not seeing each other in real life (only videochat), but I think this problem is obvious for you guys, who are mostly in the same situation.
I feel like I'm on the edge of my strength, I would really need a hug from him and my stress is just increasing day by day. I don't want to lose him because I adore him (and he feels the same towards me).
I don't know what to do, even he doesn't know it. Please help

[MsGrim]

Keep yourself occupied, start a new hobby or project. Start something together like a mutual journal on google docs if that's possible, or a wish list filled with things you want to do together. There's not much you can do other than occupying your mind.

[8AnnaAdam8]

MsGrim, we do that but the weakness is still here :/ I'm studying at university, doing yoga every day, we write that list which includes things we want to do together but I'm exhausted.
Thank you for your answer by the way!

[MsGrim]

Not everyone is cut out to be in a LDR, and that's okay. Don't put yourself through mental hell to keep a relationship going. If its not working for you then do what you need to do to feel better.

[vivid_idea]

I'm sorry this is how you are feeling right now. Like Ms Grim said, not everyone is cut out for a long-distance relationship. If you are someone who relies on hugs to make you feel good and bond with your partner, then you may eventually feel completely depleted or even resentful. It does sound like this is already starting to happen.

It's great you have a plan because it gives you something to look forward to. But I guess you have to ask yourself, honestly, do you see yourself being able to invest the time it requires to be long-distance and still manage to live a wholesome happy life separately from your boyfriend? If you don't feel like you can do that, then you are likely going to feel more pain as time goes on.

I'm sorry I can't give you more positive encouragement than that, but I hope you figure out the best thing to do for your own happiness. Best of luck to you!

[autumn1790]

My husband is from India; we did not meet in person for two years and are still about 400 miles apart six years on. It can be really challenging to not have physical connection if that is something that is important to you. Have you tried sending packages and things like a sweater of his you can sleep with? Or a big cuddly teddy bear?

As hard as it is, and as busy as you already are, it does help a bit just to refocus your thoughts on the hard days. Give yourself time to be human, then redirect your thoughts to something positive. Long distance can suck, but it can be done. Like others said though, some people are not cut out for it, and if you don't see it adding to your life for the next two years, maybe you should reassess the situation. Best wishes to you!

[LisaS]

Hi there! Sending you lots of hugs!! I’ve been doing long distance for 5+ years now and are hoping to close the distance soon. But honestly I don’t know if I would do it again because it’s very hard but we love each other very much and want to try everything to make it work. I bring this up to let you know that if you don’t think you can handle it, it’s best to go your separate ways now since 9 months isn’t too deep in. It’s a decision only you can make, but I would encourage you to think about it now instead of like 3 years in and realizing you didn’t want to deal with the distance after all. But if you do decide to stay with him, you’ll need to find a way to stay connected and strong together and that can take a lot of work but can be worth it!