How long since everyone has seen their partners?

[Woweth]

Before the world took a huge dive, the waiting times for my partner and I were around 3-4 months, hard, but bearable. Since then though, these figures have been unfortunately doubled. Last year we were apart for almost seven months, due to the strict lockdown in my country, and his own country’s borders been almost entirely closed. That was extremely difficult for me, unlike other times I couldn’t go out and do things I enjoy to distract myself, as I’m sure many can relate to, so being stuck inside really gave me the chance to dwell on how much I miss him.

I last saw him end of September, we were supposed to be reunited this month, but with my country in full lockdown again, and his busy work life, looks like I won’t be seeing him until June, four months from now added on to the four months we’ve already been apart. It’s so devastating for me, as each day the dates seem to get pushed back further, January, to March, then April, and now June, I guess I keep anticipating it’ll be even longer now. Right now I don’t see how I’m gonna get through the next four months, for most of it I still won’t be allowed to leave my house due to lockdown, and for me it’s kinda Groundhog Day every single time I wake up. Trying to do the things I love while my mind is swarming with worries is very difficult. I try to focus on positives, like my birthday next month, and how we plan to file the visa for me to get over to his country. We’re fortunate enough that his family have their own agricultural business and can sponsor me to work over there. I Just can’t stop thinking about all this time though, waiting and waiting, drives you crazy.

I’ve wrote this post out a few times and just ended up deleting it because I guess I’m worried I’ll be seen as a whiner, but I’m trying not be, I just kinda need to express the pain of it. Also I suppose to hear your stories too, to know I’m not the only one going months upon months without seeing their partner. The comfort of knowing you’re not alone definitely helps. The next four months seem very daunting, I don’t really know how I’m gonna get through, not just relating to being apart from him, but other life struggles too. Support and advice is all I really crave right now, no one I know understands what it’s like to be in a situation like this, and so hearing from people who do helps a lot.

[Rezie]

December 11, 2020.

In October 2019 he decided to enroll to an online university course. In January 2020 he travelled to my country to do the course. The timing was pretty good and we managed to quarantine together. He had't seen his family in almost a year so he decided to travel there for the holiday (quarantine first in a hotel, get tested...the whole shabang). All the borders closed again 22nd of December and we have no idea when we can see again. He might have to decline a job offer here because of it and go to work there and we start over. But we shall see.

So we have been luckier than most, but it still sucks. You are not whining. Everything sucks. Yes, some people have it worse, but we can still complain!

[OhioJim]

It has been 21 months for us.

She would have been back here a long time ago except she lost her passport and the incompetent people at the embassy keep dragging it out for some unknown reason. Then the pandemic came and passport processing shut down for 6 months.

Now that it looks like she would finally be getting her replacement passport, she is in the hospital with Covid! If the embassy was doing their job she would already be back here! (She went there to be with her mother who had major surgery.)

[MsGrim]

Its been 9 1/2 months We were super lucky pre-pandemic and got to see each other 1-2 times a month for a weekend at a time. I miss those times so badly!!

Yes, other people may have it worse, but that is not your relationship to worry about so they should not be worried about yours and how you are (rightfully so) feeling about it.

[Woweth]

@Rezie
Ah, that must be horrible for you guys, since you were so close to getting to be together. Not knowing is awful too, last time I had no idea when we’d see each other again, right up until two weeks before he flew over, we had a window of opportunity and managed To reunite. This time, we’re hoping for late may/June, but who knows, my country could still be in lockdown, and the US, where he lives, Could get tighter on letting people leave the country. It’s all such a nightmare. Just gotta keep hoping.

[Woweth]

@MsGrim
Wow, that must be really rough. At least you were lucky beforehand, and still live in the same country, so compared to me that’s a big bonus. I’ve been wanting to visit his country but with a ban on U.K. travellers that shows no sign of ending, that unfortunately won’t be happening for a good while. With a major lockdown here, and him being super busy with work, I fear it could be even later than June. The dreaded ‘year’ apart. I hope with everything that doesn’t happen, but things aren’t getting better, so who knows.

[MsGrim]

Yes, living in the same country is much better than not right now. I feel for those couples in international relationships, it must be so tough! Our 2 year anniversary is coming up in April and I am PRAYING we can make something work

[Woweth]

Yes, living in the same country is much better than not right now. I feel for those couples in international relationships, it must be so tough! Our 2 year anniversary is coming up in April and I am PRAYING we can make something work

Yeah, I sure hope you’ll be able to reunite for then, especially how long you’ve gone apart. I get that being in the same country doesn’t mean you won’t have hundreds, or thousands of miles between you either, but I guess you know you’re not oceans apart, and have similar time zones, and don’t have to worry about the dreaded visas.

[vivid_idea]

We are coming up to 10 months apart. Australia is on a huge international lockdown. There is no talk of the borders opening again. I have no idea when I will be able to see my SO again. I've been feeling pretty down about it the last few days. Feeling like I am forgetting what it is like to be together in person. Some days are more lonely than others.

[D_M]

We've just passed 9 months but the thing with us is we haven't met at all yet! We met online and something developed really quickly and we are so close now like no relationship I've ever been in, including my previous marriage.
In December the borders finally came down, only to go up again a few days before I flew out. We're aiming for Easter now, so 4 months later.
When that happened, it was devastating and I was fearful if we would last another 4 months. A lot of pressure. I know I wanted to but was unsure of my SO. As it happens, my SO was the same, anxiety came in an dshe was fearful I wouldn't be able to wait. It's almost funny, but it's horrible to go through those feelings, the fear and anxiety, arguing with yourself.
Anyway, so we talked and realised we were more committed than ever so we are good and very happy together, crazy about each other and holding on. The other good thing is that those 4 months are now 3 months so hang in there Woweth and the time will pass. And you're definitely not whinging. We all need to express this stuff and let it out. And you'll find most, if not all of us, have been through similar in one way or another.
I transfered my December flights to April, so I have a definite date to focus on which definitely helps. THe hardest has been when we had no idea when the borders would come down. I'm lucky that Australia is doing well against Covid and I have a reasonable expectation the (internal) borders will be down by April.
Hopefully the vaccines will help bring the international borders down faster too.
Let us know how you go.