I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4yrs now. We applied for a fiance visa in year 2019 and sadly covid happened in yr 2020 up until now making our application slow. We have been dealing with so much pain, loneliness and missing each other terribly after his last visit here in the Philippines which was july of 2019. He has been cold sometimes and it made me feel anxious and paranoid that he might lost hope or interest of waiting any longer for the approval or even fast pacing the processing of the papers we applied. I love him so much that it scares me that i could be right about my anxiety. Although He told me its just how he deals with the pain he felt of being away from me for a long time. I have a different way of adjusting the situation and his was difficult for me to understand, it has to deal with less time with me and more of gaming coz he says he feels more relaxed and forgets all the stress he gets in life (generally) and obviously our situation. I guess he needs space but idk, im just really paranoid to think that the more i give him space on his on the more he’d not want me and long for me and maybe eventually fall out of love. Its just really sad. I fight every day to keep myself sane and be happy with what i have day to day experience but without him in it is just incomplete. I asked him today after ending our chat before he goes off for his bedtime, “what if we dont get approved by the government with the application we applied for and i get denied, are you done with me too?” He answered me this exact words, “Idk.. just don't see a option really if you can't come here.” I honestly felt a stab on my chest and tears streaming down my cheeks.. i was sad and hurt, thinking he wouldn’t be willing to fight any longer when in fact he knew about the other option of marrying me here in my country and reapplying again since he really wanted to be leaving close to his family and would be hard for him to look for a decent job here in the Philippines since he has no college degree and does only labor jobs in his country. And yeah, i complained at first but i see better future with him and our future family in his country so agreed even if i have to leave my life behind, my family, friends and work coz he mattered more and i thought it was for the best of our future. But idk, i just feel like he is giving me more and more of unknown and doubtful future, although he keeps telling me he loves me. Sigh.
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Where is your SO coming from? -
He is from USAComment
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Well dear Zee, LDR’s are complicated !
The only advice I can give you, is just : take it easy, give him some space, focus on something else - might sound mainstream, but this is the only thing I would do different in my LDR ( we broke up in November) this is the only thing what I would change. - my attitude towards us! Just to not take that serious , in the end of the day we need to be happy and find peace ..Comment
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