I have just been through one of the most devastating, and nerve wracking, past few days of my life, and I found today it was all for nothing. Last week, due to some issues I was having, I phoned my doctors, and was told that I should take an STD swab test, even though I said the chance of having one would be almost nonexistent as I’ve only ever been with one person, and he’s only ever been with me, but in order to rule out all of the possible ailments that could be causing my issues, we decided it would be best to take one anyway. Due to lockdown in my country etc, it’s preferred if you do these procedures at home yourself, and then just hand it back into your doctor’s surgery. That’s what I did, and honestly didn’t think much of it, I trusted my boyfriend and I didn’t even think for a moment it would come back with anything.
Two days later I get a call saying it came back inconclusive, and I’d need to take another one, that was fair enough, I’d never done one before and so I didn’t do it right which I thought would happen, so I planned to do it the next day. Before I could though, I got possibly one of the worst wake up calls of my life. My doctor phoned me early in the morning, telling me that I tested positive for an std, due to it being so personal I won’t divulge what one, but let’s just say it wasn’t good at all. I almost fell onto the floor, I was shocked, numb, I didn’t know whether to cry or shout. I suppose for people who have had previous partners and test positive while with their current one, it could be that they just had it before they met their current one, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they cheated, but in my case, that had to be the only explanation. I’ve always trusted my boyfriend, and my worst fear was to be cheated on, I never wanted to imagine the pain, and for a while, I felt it. Due to it being so early in the morning, and the matter of time difference, I had to wait agonisingly until I could confront him about it, so many possibilities running through my head. If he was gonna tell me it was just a one time thing, she meant nothing, or if she was a side piece over there when he wasn’t seeing me.
An hour later, I had yet another call, from my doctor again, telling me there was confusion over the samples. There was two tests under my name, one positive, and one negative, even though I had only taken one test. She didn’t understand what was happening, but asked I come in immediately and she’ll redo the test herself. I was surviving on about three hours of sleep, dizzy from crying my eyes out, and I had to sit through a thorough and extremely painful pelvic exam as she took another test. Really couldn’t have got much worse. Even though there was a lot of things that didn’t add up, such as being told a few days prior that my test was inconclusive, to it then suddenly having tested positive for an std, to them having two tests under my name when I only did one, she still seemed convinced I did indeed have it, and that my boyfriend had to have cheated on me. Due to it being a Friday, I had to wait until either Monday or Tuesday to get my results back, and let me say, I never wanted a weekend to go by faster before. When morning finally rolled around for my boyfriend and he woke up, well, let me just say I regret accusing him of all the things I did then, but I don’t think I can blame myself either. I was heart broken, I could barely look at him, even though he kept telling me profusely he had never cheated, and he wouldn’t lie to me. I was close to ending it, as I felt I could never trust him again, that even though my test hadn’t came back yet, I was convinced I had it anyway, and he must have given it to me, what a way to find out your partner is a cheating SOB eh? The weekend was awful for us both, he was extremely hurt and upset being accused of cheating, and then had his suspicions of me cheating on him also, I was riddled with anxiety and shame, I didn’t know what I had in my body, and if come Monday our relationship would be over. I’ve always said I’d never be the type to forgive a cheater, and I would have stayed true to that.
I could barely sleep, eat, I was just so anxious and miserable. I was given very strong antibiotics, that for the first half made me ill, and I was vomiting. It was just so horrible. I had already been struggling beforehand with the lockdown, and not being able to see my boyfriend, and this just really pushed me down lower than I thought was possible. The feelings, so many of them, and at one time, it’s difficult to describe, but all I know is I never want to experience it again for as long as I live. Fast forward to today, we’re both extremely on edge wanting to know the results, both in pieces over all that had happened and was said, how we’ve basically grown together for four years in our relationship and now that could be coming to an end.
I phone the doctors office, expecting the absolute worst, preparing myself for all the extra pain and heartbreak I was about to experience, to then be told, I tested negative, and everything came back normal, there was a mix up and I got somebody else’s results beforehand. The relief, wow, is just like one of the best feelings after days of your stomach being in a knot and on the verge of tears. I was obviously still upset that I was put through all this over a medical error, but at the same time I couldn’t care, everything was okay. It’s been a hellish few days but I’m so elated that I can just move on now, and we can heal our relationship, hopefully coming back stronger. It was a terrible experience, but I’m grateful for it, it made me realise things could be a lot worse, and that even though we’re apart for now, we still stay faithful and remain committed, that in itself should be something to be happy about. That medical error could have cost me my entire relationship though, we were both so hurt and confused, and it has made me lose some faith in the reliability of my doctor and the surgery, that was a major mix up, and someone has probably been told they don’t have an std when they in fact do, and I was told the opposite.
Anyway, this is a very personal story, but in the end everything came back okay, and luckily not too much damage was done. We can sigh a sigh of relief now, and put it down to just another curveball intended to test us further.
Two days later I get a call saying it came back inconclusive, and I’d need to take another one, that was fair enough, I’d never done one before and so I didn’t do it right which I thought would happen, so I planned to do it the next day. Before I could though, I got possibly one of the worst wake up calls of my life. My doctor phoned me early in the morning, telling me that I tested positive for an std, due to it being so personal I won’t divulge what one, but let’s just say it wasn’t good at all. I almost fell onto the floor, I was shocked, numb, I didn’t know whether to cry or shout. I suppose for people who have had previous partners and test positive while with their current one, it could be that they just had it before they met their current one, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they cheated, but in my case, that had to be the only explanation. I’ve always trusted my boyfriend, and my worst fear was to be cheated on, I never wanted to imagine the pain, and for a while, I felt it. Due to it being so early in the morning, and the matter of time difference, I had to wait agonisingly until I could confront him about it, so many possibilities running through my head. If he was gonna tell me it was just a one time thing, she meant nothing, or if she was a side piece over there when he wasn’t seeing me.
An hour later, I had yet another call, from my doctor again, telling me there was confusion over the samples. There was two tests under my name, one positive, and one negative, even though I had only taken one test. She didn’t understand what was happening, but asked I come in immediately and she’ll redo the test herself. I was surviving on about three hours of sleep, dizzy from crying my eyes out, and I had to sit through a thorough and extremely painful pelvic exam as she took another test. Really couldn’t have got much worse. Even though there was a lot of things that didn’t add up, such as being told a few days prior that my test was inconclusive, to it then suddenly having tested positive for an std, to them having two tests under my name when I only did one, she still seemed convinced I did indeed have it, and that my boyfriend had to have cheated on me. Due to it being a Friday, I had to wait until either Monday or Tuesday to get my results back, and let me say, I never wanted a weekend to go by faster before. When morning finally rolled around for my boyfriend and he woke up, well, let me just say I regret accusing him of all the things I did then, but I don’t think I can blame myself either. I was heart broken, I could barely look at him, even though he kept telling me profusely he had never cheated, and he wouldn’t lie to me. I was close to ending it, as I felt I could never trust him again, that even though my test hadn’t came back yet, I was convinced I had it anyway, and he must have given it to me, what a way to find out your partner is a cheating SOB eh? The weekend was awful for us both, he was extremely hurt and upset being accused of cheating, and then had his suspicions of me cheating on him also, I was riddled with anxiety and shame, I didn’t know what I had in my body, and if come Monday our relationship would be over. I’ve always said I’d never be the type to forgive a cheater, and I would have stayed true to that.
I could barely sleep, eat, I was just so anxious and miserable. I was given very strong antibiotics, that for the first half made me ill, and I was vomiting. It was just so horrible. I had already been struggling beforehand with the lockdown, and not being able to see my boyfriend, and this just really pushed me down lower than I thought was possible. The feelings, so many of them, and at one time, it’s difficult to describe, but all I know is I never want to experience it again for as long as I live. Fast forward to today, we’re both extremely on edge wanting to know the results, both in pieces over all that had happened and was said, how we’ve basically grown together for four years in our relationship and now that could be coming to an end.
I phone the doctors office, expecting the absolute worst, preparing myself for all the extra pain and heartbreak I was about to experience, to then be told, I tested negative, and everything came back normal, there was a mix up and I got somebody else’s results beforehand. The relief, wow, is just like one of the best feelings after days of your stomach being in a knot and on the verge of tears. I was obviously still upset that I was put through all this over a medical error, but at the same time I couldn’t care, everything was okay. It’s been a hellish few days but I’m so elated that I can just move on now, and we can heal our relationship, hopefully coming back stronger. It was a terrible experience, but I’m grateful for it, it made me realise things could be a lot worse, and that even though we’re apart for now, we still stay faithful and remain committed, that in itself should be something to be happy about. That medical error could have cost me my entire relationship though, we were both so hurt and confused, and it has made me lose some faith in the reliability of my doctor and the surgery, that was a major mix up, and someone has probably been told they don’t have an std when they in fact do, and I was told the opposite.
Anyway, this is a very personal story, but in the end everything came back okay, and luckily not too much damage was done. We can sigh a sigh of relief now, and put it down to just another curveball intended to test us further.
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