Update

[D_M]

Hi all,
In almost three weeks to the hour I should be boarding a plane to meet my SO for the first time :-D
I feel tentative even writing this because we have had hopes to meet before that didn't come to pass, mainly due to Covid and borders being closed.
This time I think it is going to happen.
I can't wait. It has been hard but I love my SO soooooo much and cannot wait to finally see her in person, to be with her, kiss her, hold her hand, hug her and feel her body against mine. And... well, everything else...
When my plane lands it will be exactly a year to the day since we first met online and part of me knew even then that I had met someone incredible, that she could be the one, and with each passing month our connection has grown stronger and fuller.
It has been a very rough road at times, heart crushingly so sometimes, but we have made it through and now finally we get to meet.
I feel exhausted, and relieved, and also incredibly excited and happy.
Fingers crossed and any tips or shared experiences of similar times for people are most welcome.

[vivid_idea]

Wowie, how exciting! I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that nothing stands in your way this time!

You’ve already read about the details of my first meet. Yes it was amazing! I hope when the time comes it feels like the missing piece of a perfect jigsaw, like mine did.

Did you purposefully arrange to meet on your 1 year anniversary of finding each other? That’s so romantic!

[D_M]

It just kind of fell that way when I rebooked after the Christmas borders came back up. We knew it was our anniversary so set the date for then :-)
I nearly got over there in early March but for a couple of reasons it didn't work out. So the last month has felt particularly difficult, and even the last couple of days, my SO has found doubts. I think may things are darker before the dawn and that is where we're at right now.
Most of the time when we skype it's only great. I hope that when we meet in person, everything just falls into place and all the remaining doubts just disappear.
I can't wait to see her.

[Woweth]

That’s great. I remember our first meeting, a day I’d give anything to live again, so make the most of the anticipation, because when the day comes it’ll be amazing I’m sure. How long are you going for? Our first visit we spent six weeks together which was basically most of the summer, and it was so great, and we were very blessed to be able to spend that amount of time together. Best of luck.

[vivid_idea]

I shared your story with my SO and his tips were:

- enjoy the ride because to do anything else would force things and create undue stress.

- also “maybe fresh underwear and such is a good idea too 👍”

🤣🤦*♀️🙄 Oh Lordy, there you have some true words of practical wisdom there! Hehe

[D_M]

Gosh Woweth, I'm really jealous. We've got just over 2 weeks, which is too little but I hope that now things have improved with Covid here, I'll be able to get over there every 6-8 weeks.

[D_M]

I shared your story with my SO and his tips were:

- enjoy the ride because to do anything else would force things and create undue stress.

- also “maybe fresh underwear and such is a good idea too ��”

����*♀️�� Oh Lordy, there you have some true words of practical wisdom there! Hehe

Fresh underwear. Tick!

I think there is a bit of stress, especially from my SO. She is feeling the pressure because she still feels like in someways I am a stranger, even though we have spent so many hours talking online. She worries more than me and I feel like we know each other really well and that there is nothing likely to come up IRL that we couldn't work out.
I fear it's going to be a rough few weeks. And add to that, lack of sleep because when we chat it's often until 5am (for me). Tiredness definitely makes me feel more anxious/fearful/insecure.

[vivid_idea]

I had those same fears too, and it’s normal. I guess what I will share is this: Before we met, I was so sure that things could be very different irl. Thoughts played over in my mind of how people catfish each other and present a different persona. Not saying I thought this was happening, but these kinds of thoughts niggled at the periphery of my mind and I could not stop them. Without the certainty I could not eliminate the doubt. I was preparing myself for someone totally unlike what I had imagined because, well, he couldn’t be the same as I had imagined, right?? This is the internet we are talking about here for Pete’s sake!

However, when we first met, everything that had transpired online just naturally flowed over in person. It was just the same as the texts and videos, just now there was another dimension to it all. I could not completely abate those fears until we were finally in person, though. But if you have both been very genuine and real with each other then why is there any reason why it won’t be the same when you meet? Once the love is there, it makes it very special.

[D_M]

Wow Vivid_Idea. Your post helps me so much!!! I think that is EXACTLY how my SO is feeling. She feels like she knows me but at the same time I guess there is that though that, well, it does happen.
The other thing for her is that she doesn't do one night stands, or first night stands, so even though we've known each other for so long, when we meet IRL it will also feel a little like our first ever meeting, so that is a bit conflicting. I understand that and I've said that we can take things slow and go at her pace. It's a weird situation for us both because neither had done the online dating before. So we're meeting for the first time but it feels like we've known each other for years.
I know the love is real and that believe that we've both been genuine, so I can actually imagine us IRL talking exactly like we do on Skype and text, but being there in person and having this un-reality feeling.
I may not be able to stop smiling for the entire 2 weeks :-D

[vivid_idea]

That’s really sweet 😊

Neither me nor my SO do one nights stands or any kind of “stand” for that matter. And yeah, it did feel a bit nerve wracking for me in person. This is what I did/happened for us:

We met in a neutral city where we both flew into. I had organised the accommodation and I actually booked an air BnB that had two separate rooms with a bed in each (after all, physically he WAS a total stranger to me) Anyway, I remember after we met at the airport we went for a bit of a walk around a nice beachside suburb. He was pretty out of it and I remember I grabbed his arm and linked mine through his and kinda cuddled into his side. It was mid winter back then! He was a bit surprised but later told me that he had appreciated me being expressive like that.

He kissed me for the first time later that day at the air BnB. I totally ruined the moment by saying “Well that was weird”. I didn’t mean it to sound bad, but it was just so so surreal for me. It was also very nice. Gentle and unassuming. Perfect, really.

Needless to say we slept in the same bed that night. We didn’t “sleep together” just next to each other. Because he had come into an opposite time zone he struggled to sleep and, at one point, I woke to him smothering me with embraces lol. Still we were completely clothed. But it felt natural and nice.

I am not easily comfortable with new people either. Especially physically. But I found we slotted into a comfortable space, physically, almost effortlessly. And, well, the rest of the 3 weeks were amazing.

Just take it slow and enjoy the process. It’s amazing how naturally it can come, even when you are shy or feeling nervous. I hope your SO can relax and enjoy your company. I’m sure she will and it will be wonderful for you both.

[D_M]

Thanks Vivid_Idea, it's great to read your experience. It sounds great. I am very excited about my visit and I am sure it is going to be great for me and my SO. We are just going to take it slow and natural.
I really liked this "I grabbed his arm and linked mine through his". For some reason i got an instant visual of me with my SO walking through a park and her doing this and the thought of how sweet it would feel.

[vivid_idea]

Yay. Amazing times ahead for you I feel D_M

[MsGrim]

Congrats on a visit! Thats so exciting and glad things are looking up for you!! I will be boarding a plane this Friday to go see my love... FINALLY! So, I am happy to share this exciting feeling with you! Funny though, cause when my plane lands it'll be exactly one year since we have seen each other <3 funny how that works!

[vivid_idea]

Yaaaaay!!! So happy for you MsGrim!!!

[D_M]

Thanks Vivid_Idea,
I love hearing how you two met; if feels very parallel to me and my SO. I know these are tough times but I am sure you guys will make it
It's been a tense few days with the recent Queensland outbreak and how it bled into NSW so I wasn't sure whether WA would close their borders again, but so far so good. I'll be happier once a week or so has gone by with no more outbreaks.