He says he’s lost feelings for me

[Binda Maharjan]

I’m living here in Australia and he is stuck overseas since more than a year due to COVID lockdown. We both love each other very much but there used to be fights every now and then.

Our communication largely declined because of the time difference and different duties(mostly from his side) and I don’t blame him for that. But I do get upset regularly because of lack of communication. I have tried to control my anger a lot and I’m at fault that I say some things I shouldn’t when we fight. For example: when he said “he’s had enough of the unnecessary fights and explanations” and that he thinks that “he has said enough sorry in this relationship”. I couldn’t hold myself. I was hurt and angry at the same time and I said we should end it then( which I didn’t mean and have apologised for it now). Then he said to stop texting him.

Since then I couldn’t dare to text for three days. But I texted him today and asked is the relationship really over. He said yes and he seemed really serious about it. He said he has lost huge portion of his feelings for me. He thinks that he we shouldn’t continue our relationship as it will end sooner or later. I don’t want to lose him . I have apologised and said I will control my anger in future and also I didn’t mean it. he said he needs time to think. I’m now waiting for his reply.

[vivid_idea]

Oh :/ I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. It’s so easy to just let your emotions run rampant when you are doing long distance. I know I have done it a LOT. I am also in Aus and my SO is overseas. We have 9-10 hour time difference. I totally get how much it can suck.

As hard as it is, you will have to give him space because he has made it clear this is what he wants. You could send him a text in a few days saying that you would like to talk about what happened, when he is ready. It’s never nice to break up in the heat of the moment without clarification and understanding in the end.

He won’t want to get back together with you if he is unable to trust that your relationship can change. If and when you guys do talk, you have to show that you understand from his perspective and how it makes him feel and then specifically demonstrate what you are willing to try to make things better, otherwise you will keep experiencing the same problems.

Again, I am so sorry this is what you are going through. It’s the hardest thing. If he still cares about you then he should be willing to talk when he has calmed down. It might take him a week or two though.

Best of luck to you!

[Jen72]

You poor thing , my man is in Australia and im in Norway we have been doing this for 5 years now . Its so crap the time difference . We are very honest and hes so patient with me with all my insecurities . Recently we both decided it would be good for him to get some quals in order to get a better jobb when he moves here .And off coarse the covid aint helping . Now that hes started school im so jealous all the time our bond is really getting neglected to the extent that i think his love for me is being tested but hes telling me he would never leave me .,but his other hobby is computers & coding . So im feeling neglected so im projecting so much anger and jealousy on to him .
Now, we are both 48 divorced and we know what we want , so why am i still being a bitch , simple its my baggage . Ive recently been under stress with stuff so that just makes it woarse for me . So ive decided enough is a enough im going to go to therapy and maybe you should try this out too . You love your partner , being LDR is hard and we are only human . Im 48 so im not young so we know this is what we want, so we have our ups & downs suggest to ur partner that therapy could help you and him . If hes willing . I hope you are going to be ok ❤️