A new chapter

[autumn1790]

I told myself/my SO that as soon as I finished my first year of nursing, I would move to my SO's state and we would finally move in together.

I guess after 6.5 years of distance, I'm just too used to it. I am moving....but I'm moving across the US, even farther away than I was before. It's not driveable anymore, it's definitely a flight now.

I think it's only short term, he's looking at getting a new job and he needs to be out of his rental by June (I couldn't stay there anyway which was part of the reason I didn't go there), so....maybe August? Maybe August we'll finally put a lid on this?

There's no real reason we can't be together anymore. He works remotely, I'm gonna do travel nursing for a bit at least. But yet here we are.

I'm excited for the adventure, but also terrified. I hope what I'm doing won't hurt us. This all happened so fast. I don't know what I'm doing...

Has anyone else done this? Had the chance to close the distance and been like Nah, I'm good? We've both always prioritized education and careers, but now out school is done and our careers are so flexible.

Maybe six years of long distance and being alone has given me commitment issues. :P

[Jen72]

Wow thats amazing , hm so finally your able to be together but you wont . If he is ok then i think its quite normal to grow as individuals but together . If you trust each other then its better he lets you fly and not resent him from holding you back . He must love you loads . A plane ride is easy so why dont you both start saving together for your future . Make the commitment but in another way . Save up for ur wedding . This way you both feel that its going to happen only a matter of time . Love ❤️

[autumn1790]

Hi Jen, we're already married, July will be 2 years. He wouldn't think of holding me back from anything, nor would I hold him back. I don't feel as if I owe it to him to close the distance...I guess I don't feel any pressure at all since what we have has worked for so long. Neither of us are struggling financially anymore (thank goodness) so flights won't be an issue. Thanks for your ideas!

[Jen72]

Thats amazing , you seem to have it all , and maybe thats the problem . You and your Husband are so secure and growing as individuals you need to make a deadline . Give each other a cut off date, for when you are settled in one place together . As a nurse you can work any where . So think about when do you want to start a family ? Being a family means you need family around you . So your home town i pressume ? Time to plant some seeds . You say you are finacialy secure now . Good , so take the rest and invest in your future home , property . Start using it as a holiday destination . So every so often you life there and in time you will realize having « home is where the heart is « constantly moving around for opportunities is fun , but suddenly your are 35 and thinking , we should of did that earlier . You both seem on the same page , supportive of each others individual growth you have freedom as sell but what im reading is you are both scared of the mundane settling in . So making a home in one place is scary and mean you have to be normal (he he) its ok to be scared off this . In my late 20s i was never going to have kids or settle down . But things happen .
Prepare for your future , invest your money in a property or land and build your nest together. Im sure you will one day wake up in bed in that house and think , i just wanna stay there now . You are young and restless and thats cool but it also can prevent you commiting . What are your goals ? What is your bucket list ? And then think is it also necessary? Being young and having a goid stable relationship is amazing to read about, but we are only reading your side of the story . How is your partner thinking ? Is he ready to commit to one place , one town ?

[autumn1790]

Why? I'm not sure I understand why it is so important to live together. Like I said in my original post, he's not staying at his current apartment, and I'm not sure if I've mentioned in previous posts but he's been searching and searching for a new job so he's not staying where he's at. Of course I've talked to him if he's okay with it, and like I said, we never hold each other back. I'm not even sure I want kids, so why wouldn't I use this time to see the world.

I'm sure you have way more relationship experience but the vibe I'm getting that you're telling me it's my duty to be at his side is a little uncomfortable. We are committed, we are working toward a future together, but right now that's not in the same place. It might be, as soon as I'm done with my first contract. Or it might not. That's the beauty of an LDR, it's flexible and you make it work for you.

If there's any point in sharing my story, it's just to show that people handle distance differently. I used to be so focused on an end date and figuring it out and moving. But life happens while you're planning it. Maybe focusing on an end date makes the distance worse for some people, like me. It'll happen when it'll happen, and I'm okay with that.

[Jen72]

You seem to have it all planned out , each ldr is different so thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future plans, and im not trying to send any vibes your way and im not suggesting you should be at your partners side 24/7 . You and your partner have your own agenda, kids and the happy ever after is none of my concern. If your are happy in your relationship then thats all that matters .
Im just saying the issue of commitement cant be fixed if you dont commit to the same postcode.
So dont take my words personal and enjoy living & loving ❤️