Feeling Lost

[bee23]

hi all! this is my first time posting here but I've been feeling pretty down. I just graduated college, and I'm lost in what I wanna do in life. I live on the eastern seaboard and my LD bf is from the same state I'm in, he came back as we split the flight 50/50 cuz we both got the stimulus. so he got to see his family and old friends but mostly me. he was here for a month, and he just went back to HI about 5 days ago. since this I haven't been able to stop crying, we spent every day together for a month but we have been talking long distance for a year. I miss him a lot, and I'm not sure what path to take in life rn as I just graduated. Moving to Hawaii seems like a huge commitment and it's hard to find a job there, and I haven't known him for long. I know I don't need to make these decisions now, I just get so in my head that it's doomed to fail. nobody in my family understands and they all tell me to move on and in the future this will seem like a funny thing. The thing is... I dont want to move on, but going ahead with this is also scary and depressing. I tend to overthink a lot, and he makes me happy, and I know he loves me and I love him... It just seems so hopeless right now. I'm not sure how to move forward and everyday feels like a breakup because I can't see him in person. how do I cope with these feelings and not sabotage the relationship?

[D_M]

Hi Bee23,
This is that hard thing about LDR. These feelings are totally normal and they give rise to anxiety also.
I think firstly you need to talk about this to your SO. You're in this together so I would try and talk about all options together; continuing long distance for now, you moving, him moving, even breaking up. See how each way feels.... You sound like you have a really good bond so I hope you don't break up. In the big scheme of things, distance is not a massive barrier if you are both up for it.
It sounds you are young, so you have plenty of time to make mistakes if that is what any decision turns out to be. So don't be afraid to try whatever you feel is right for you. You will make mistakes in life and it is important to learn from them... Of course, whatever you decide might not be a mistake at all, so go forward with hope and faith.
One thing I would say from my experience, is that true love is a very very rare thing. It took me 49 years before I met my soulmate. If you're lucky enough to find it, it's worth fighting for.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

[OhioJim]

....It sounds you are young, so you have plenty of time to make mistakes if that is what any decision turns out to be. So don't be afraid to try whatever you feel is right for you. You will make mistakes in life and it is important to learn from them.....

I learned a long time ago that it is far far better to do something, even if it turns out to be the wrong thing, than to sit there and worry about it.

[notrandom1]

Are you the Bonnie to his Clyde?
Hesitation seems to be a problem on my end. Whether it's indecisiveness or uncertainty... things will surely fester if a decision isn't made.
On my end... I wish she responded differently to my concerns. With certainty. with Resolve. With decisiveness.