Hey everyone,
I had posted a few months ago about how I messed up my perfect relationship of three years. First I want to thank you all for all the responses. Some were encouraging and some suggested moving on for good. But after endless conversations, lots of patience and an awful lot of crying, my partner and I finally have been trying to rebuild our relationship. It is hard, and it will be hard as we are still in an LDR, but we realised that nothing feels more right than how we feel being with each other and that despite everything, we love each other more than anybody ever could. I have made terrible mistakes and I have been trying my best to become a better person, have been going to therapy and doing everything in my power to gain his trust back and rebuild our relationship. And he has had the patience and kindness to give me a second chance, understand why the infidelity happened and has never stopped loving me even when I was at my worst. I will always be grateful to him and what I feel for him right now is something I cannot express in words, its not just love - its so much more than that! We are still a work in progress but things are much better than how they were a few months back, and we are both healing.
Now we have worse things to deal with, which of course is the LDR itself.
I have been in NZ since Feb 2020. He was supposed to come here for his studies in Nov 2020 and we were gonna tell our parents and everything wouldve been great. But as you all might know already, the borders are closed almost everywhere and he hasnt been able to make it yet. It hurts us everyday thinking about how long we will have to spend away from each other. All the problems that happened with us wouldnt have happened if we were together. There is so much uncertainty about the borders. He has become hopeless and has been having thoughts to maybe move to another country and not come to NZ, because he needs to continue his studies. If he doesnt come here, he says that could be the end of our relationship. I dont think that, as much as I hate LDR I dont want to think that we would be over if he decides to go to some other country. Sure it will make things harder than they already are. I like it here in NZ and dont wanna go somewhere else, but if I have to leave to be with him, I will - no doubt about that! We know we want to be with each other, and we would fight for each other no matter what. Its just that things are getting so blurry and sometimes its hard to remain optimistic, especially in these trying times, feels like the world is ending and nobody knows what is gonna come next. Sometimes it feels like what if its a sign that its not gonna work out? all this endless waiting just the universe's way of telling us to quit? I dont believe that, but just... some days are harder than the others.
I would love some support and encouragement from you guys, maybe by sharing how you guys made it through even the toughest times and managed to close the distance decided to not give up.
I had posted a few months ago about how I messed up my perfect relationship of three years. First I want to thank you all for all the responses. Some were encouraging and some suggested moving on for good. But after endless conversations, lots of patience and an awful lot of crying, my partner and I finally have been trying to rebuild our relationship. It is hard, and it will be hard as we are still in an LDR, but we realised that nothing feels more right than how we feel being with each other and that despite everything, we love each other more than anybody ever could. I have made terrible mistakes and I have been trying my best to become a better person, have been going to therapy and doing everything in my power to gain his trust back and rebuild our relationship. And he has had the patience and kindness to give me a second chance, understand why the infidelity happened and has never stopped loving me even when I was at my worst. I will always be grateful to him and what I feel for him right now is something I cannot express in words, its not just love - its so much more than that! We are still a work in progress but things are much better than how they were a few months back, and we are both healing.
Now we have worse things to deal with, which of course is the LDR itself.
I have been in NZ since Feb 2020. He was supposed to come here for his studies in Nov 2020 and we were gonna tell our parents and everything wouldve been great. But as you all might know already, the borders are closed almost everywhere and he hasnt been able to make it yet. It hurts us everyday thinking about how long we will have to spend away from each other. All the problems that happened with us wouldnt have happened if we were together. There is so much uncertainty about the borders. He has become hopeless and has been having thoughts to maybe move to another country and not come to NZ, because he needs to continue his studies. If he doesnt come here, he says that could be the end of our relationship. I dont think that, as much as I hate LDR I dont want to think that we would be over if he decides to go to some other country. Sure it will make things harder than they already are. I like it here in NZ and dont wanna go somewhere else, but if I have to leave to be with him, I will - no doubt about that! We know we want to be with each other, and we would fight for each other no matter what. Its just that things are getting so blurry and sometimes its hard to remain optimistic, especially in these trying times, feels like the world is ending and nobody knows what is gonna come next. Sometimes it feels like what if its a sign that its not gonna work out? all this endless waiting just the universe's way of telling us to quit? I dont believe that, but just... some days are harder than the others.
I would love some support and encouragement from you guys, maybe by sharing how you guys made it through even the toughest times and managed to close the distance decided to not give up.