Our bond is strong but our relationship is loosing engagement

[AlwaysHereForYou]

It's been three years since we started our relationship, I've grown a lot thanks to it, we have supported each other in the good and the bad, and our communication was really good. Now we both are in a new phase in our lives, he's buying a propety and I'm preparing for my master's entrance exam. This year has been good but I feel like the interest and engagement has been decaying gradually, now he doesn't ask me about my days, and speaks to me some days a week and when he does, I mostly take the lead in the conversation. I understand he's going through new things and stress too, but I wish there was more communication. I've talked to him calmly explaining how I feel, asked him how he felt and tryed to find a solution in what we can do, but the answer the times we have spoken about this only issue is: "I'm having lots of stress going on, I don't know how I'll manage more", so I feel guilty because of expressing my feelings and then I accept the situation again, as there's no change or solution.

I think that a message doesn't take a lot to be sent, or even a small voice note. For some weeks I felt really sad about it, then I said well I cannot be absorbed into this, I also have my life and I started studying even more, going exercising, and being with myself, I'm enjoying it a lot and most importantly I'm healthier and confident. As I'm doing things for myself I feel better but if the communication was already broken it's being broken more as I'm not the one that start them or I don't run anymore for replying back or I don't ask for videocalls.

For me he's a very special person, he's been loyal, caring, mature and loving to me. But there's this pattern of not looking for a solution when we have this problem -the only problem we actually have-. I don't wanna break up with him, but it's true that I am starting to doubt he has the same interest in me and I am actually feeling better when I'm alone. Even when he's with me I feel like he isn't, or that he has taken me for granted. I don't wanna be the woman that stays in a relationship just because loyalty and a strong bond.

I love him, I admire him and I respect him. I know he loves me too. But I don't wanna be in a relationship were we are settled in an environment where words are not said, I won't be attached by a bond there is if I'm not feeling comfortable anymore

Have you ever faced sth like this? I'd love to know your opinion

[xxcazaxx]

Sorry to hear this. I think that all you can do is be truthful and reiterate to him how you are feeling and that you don't want to be shut out. Good luck.

[OhioJim]

It has been said many times before on this forum.

Communication is vital in a LDR.

TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! Don't be afraid. He probably feels the same.

[D_M]

I agree with the othes. You have to talk to him.

Remember, times are hard right now and stress is a big passion killer. There's not one of us here who isn't going through some degree stress and you SO might also be dealing with a lot of stuff.

The most important thing is if you both know that you love each other you may be going through a time where you just need to tough it out, hold the faith and know that this present time will pass and you may well get back what you had.

But you have to talk. Tell him how you feel.

Good luck

[OhioJim]

A bit of psychology...

It has been shown that something that is given away, that is free, is usually not valued highly by the recipients.

It is when you have to work hard for something that it is highly valued.

The same thing applies to a relationship.