I still love my LDR girlfriend despite agreeing to be friends?

[Tommycfc1905]

Since the breakup, me and my ex offered to be friends. I had no choice but to accept it, well i didnt want her to be completely out of my life that's why. She wouldn't reveal her feelings after our mutual split. We only talked once after the breakup and it was a positive and fun talk, i teased her abit. I'm trying to cut contact again because if i keep talking to her i would feel like i am permanently "friendzoned" but i still have feelings for her, and my relationship was a LDR. She's been sending positively mixed signals to me like love-hearting my messages and send me few love emojis.

Do i have the chance? I promised her that i would see her if international borders are open. I still love her so much. She said she will waiting and be looking forward to meet each other.

Is there any good stories about exes being friends and start dating again? I know it's sound nearly impossible but i hope that really happens and i want to beat the odds.

Any questions, advices, criticism is appreciated.

[vivid_idea]

Hey there, sorry to hear that you have broken up. I can't really offer advice other than to say I am in a similar situation. Things ended with my LDR and we did not talk for a while. Now, we share some texts but it feels very friendly and indifferent from his side. I guess this could mean that I have been "friend-zoned". I send hearts and kisses, but he doesn't. I also don't want to cut him out of my life because I love him, but I don't know what to make of our contact.

If she sends you hearts and kisses, that doesn't sound like she sees you as just a friend.

[D_M]

Hi Tommy,
It's hard to know as every situation is different and I suppose the biggest factor is the reason for the break up.
It is a very hard situation and I understand as I've been there. In my case the reasons we broke up (a few times) were because of external circumstances rather than anything wrong with our relationship, so reasons like feeling overwhelmed by the distance, uncertainty of borders etc. And it was always she who broke up with me.
Like you , I couldn't bear to lose her from my life so we stayed friends. But I pulled back a lot of how much I was texting to protect myself. But I would still stay in contact and we would talk too and it sounds a lot like you are with your situation.
Each time, we got back together, normally after only a few days. Recently we broke up and I thought, this time it is permanent. It tore me up. Everytime it tore me up but this time it was worse as I couldn't see any hope. After about 2 or 3 weeks she told me she had been miserable without me in her life and had decided she wanted to make it work. And now we are back together, still doing it hard because we don't know when borders will open.
One thing though if now I fee my trust for her has eroded a lot so I go through a lot of anxiety, half expecting another break up. My anxiety is all the worse because I know that I cannot take another so if it happened again it would be the last time as I would lose trust entirely and there is no relationship without trust.
Having said that I recognise I have my own insecurities that feed into that. Things are different this time and some of the language she uses makes me feel more stable about our relationship. Things are not quite so head over heals in love as they were. I think we are both jaded and worn down by the covid/borders/uncertainty which makes things so much harder. But I feel trust slowly returning. I know I have to give that time, so I am operating on faith. It's very up and down.
In a way we are in a maintenance phase, I think, holding out and just getting through, until the borders open again and we can see each other. I hope we make it :-)
So, for you, there is hope. Hold back a little bit for your own sake but do not withdraw from her life either. If she is sending love hearts I would take that as a positive sign but she may still be working things out in her heard so give her time and space too. I hope it works out for you and your borders open again soon too.

[xxcazaxx]

I dated my ex for 10 years. We even lived together for several years (till I moved for a job). I was blindsided when it ended. I would try and phone him to chat etc and he would just ignore the calls. At the time it was awful, but I can see now that in the long run completely cutting contact was the best for helping to move on. I know that is probably not what you want to hear. What you also need to think though is that you want to be in a relationship with someone who 100% loves you and the fact that she has wanted to end it suggests otherwise. Sorry x

[Rezie]

Take a break. There is no need to be friends at the moment. Go no/limited contact. You can explain to her that you need a bit of space to move on. Work on yourself. Who knows, maybe down the line you can meet up for coffee.