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I don't know but it feels very heavy

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    I don't know but it feels very heavy

    Hello to everyone here. A newbie, and this is my very first post. I registered because I don't know what to do anymore, what to feel. I wanted someone to listen to me to let this out.

    I met my bf last December 26, 2020. This was in VRChat (it's a social game) He is really nice and he is the one who greeted me. The day he greeted me, I was starstruck because of his voice, it was so beautiful. Well, he started hanging out with me that time, stayed with me. Then I requested if I can add him as a friend, and yeah, it started from there.

    He is 22 years old and I'm 33 (at that time), I know the age gap is.... Yeah, but I did not initiate anything. Then we just started hanging out together, playing together and well, weeks passed, it was January 6, 2021, he asked me out, he wrote "Will you be mine?".. I know, everything is happening so fast. But because I really felt comfortable and happy with him, I said yes. And so we became a couple. We were very happy and very communicative with each other, playing together, doing stuffs together. Then I think it started around August, that everything is slowly changing, we still play together, and talking and video calling, but you can feel the change settling in.

    He likes to drink alcohol, and whenever he does, it's either he will love me too much and flirt or he will push me away or say stuff like hang out with guys. Then when he's sober he gets normal and is the strong willed person I know. His hormones is very active, I want to do it with him, but he doesn't want me to, so we set a rule for doing it for just twice a month. And I think it started to change from there, whenever he gets drunk he says that he can find a woman there easy and he doesn't know what will happen.

    Honestly I don't know anymore, he said I cannot satisfy him anymore, he'll find someone there soon. We have plans already, but it seems he's getting impatient, because of this pandemic, border is closed, and when we were in our first terms of our relationship, he keeps saying he will marry me and wants to live with me. He's been through a lot and he's not a citizen there as well. My family knows him and welcomes him with open arms. Since, the border is closed the only way he can enter is if we're married. We're at 9 months and he is getting impatient about it. Like I said, I don't know anymore, I've been trying hard to keep our relationship strong, I keep on telling him to communicate with me. He said there's nothing to talk about and he doesn't know what to talk about. I'm a loyal person and I stick to one and I give my very best, is it not enough? I don't even know if I'm frustrated, all I know is I am sad that this is happening. We have been doing a lot of stuffs together and I cannot just throw that away. I don't know, I feel like I was just treated as a disposable human being, like he literally shot me in the heart.

    Is there an advice you can give me? I feel like it's gonna be a harsh one, but I did ask, and I have to prepare for the answers. Thank you so much.

    #2
    Something doesn't add up.

    You said you were together, but you give your location as Philippines and his as USA? Were you together then one of you left? How can anyone give advice when important information is missing?

    As for a more direct answer to your question, I would say to break it off. From what you say he is not very dependable

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      #3
      Originally posted by OhioJim View Post
      Something doesn't add up.

      You said you were together, but you give your location as Philippines and his as USA? Were you together then one of you left? How can anyone give advice when important information is missing?

      As for a more direct answer to your question, I would say to break it off. From what you say he is not very dependable
      Oh, I'm sorry for the confusion, what I mean by together is by terms of relationship, like we are gf and bf.

      Comment


        #4
        Ok, then. Consider this statement you made:
        whenever he gets drunk he says that he can find a woman there easy and he doesn't know what will happen.
        Does that sound like he is really interested in you? And you alone?

        He also drinks, at which time his behavior changes. Do you really want to spend your life with someone like that?

        I think you can do better.

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