Hello Everyone,
I'm new to your site and would like to ask for your advice about a situation I find myself in now. I met a wonderful woman three years ago online and it has blossomed into a three year relationship. She was married before nearly sixteen years ago and I've just come to find out that she never filed for divorce from that guy. She swears up and down that she hasn't seen nor talked to him in all of that time. She walked out after finding out he was cheating on her for a number of years.
When we met and fell in love our future was discussed many times and we both had shared that we would like to be together for the rest of our lives. She loves in England and I here in the States, and I had flown over to be with her back in 2019 for what was supposed to be month's visit, but because of what I believe was a few of our basic differences the visit only lasted sixteen days. Although the visit didn't go as well as either of us had hoped we still found our way back to each other. We're both the same age and since that visit we both have grown a lot closer in many more areas. Trust has always been a big problem for both of us and from what I read it's to be considered as a normal issue among LDR relationships or any relationship for that matter.
A few days ago we had been discussing a Christmas visit, with my coming over there again for what we'd like to be a month's visit. I need to back up a little here. When we first fell in love, during one of our conversations she mentioned that she felt that she would never marry again, but wasn't opposed to living together. I told her that I would make the sacrifice of leaving my country and move over there to be with her, but I do feel uncomfortable making the move without her first filing for a divorce. I constantly thought about what if I were to move over there and something went wrong in our relationship, her husband could easily come back into the picture and I would be kicked aside.
Two days ago we were discussing the same issue, about her filing for divorce between now and Christmas or at least start filing the papers, but she adamantly refuses to file for divorce. When I asked her why it was so difficult for her to file for divorce she said that she didn't know. I've been "pulling my hair out" trying to think of a reason why she won't file for divorce and I can't think of any reason why not. As I said she has told me repeatedly that she has no feelings for this guy at all and has said that the fact that it's been sixteen years since she walked out should support her not having any feelings for him. I feel that if I'm willing to leave my country why can't she file for divorce from a guy she says she hasn't seen or talked to in sixteen years?
I am hurt beyond words that apparently she has chosen not getting a divorce over our sharing our futures together. Please if anyone can offer me any advice about what to do I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you
I'm new to your site and would like to ask for your advice about a situation I find myself in now. I met a wonderful woman three years ago online and it has blossomed into a three year relationship. She was married before nearly sixteen years ago and I've just come to find out that she never filed for divorce from that guy. She swears up and down that she hasn't seen nor talked to him in all of that time. She walked out after finding out he was cheating on her for a number of years.
When we met and fell in love our future was discussed many times and we both had shared that we would like to be together for the rest of our lives. She loves in England and I here in the States, and I had flown over to be with her back in 2019 for what was supposed to be month's visit, but because of what I believe was a few of our basic differences the visit only lasted sixteen days. Although the visit didn't go as well as either of us had hoped we still found our way back to each other. We're both the same age and since that visit we both have grown a lot closer in many more areas. Trust has always been a big problem for both of us and from what I read it's to be considered as a normal issue among LDR relationships or any relationship for that matter.
A few days ago we had been discussing a Christmas visit, with my coming over there again for what we'd like to be a month's visit. I need to back up a little here. When we first fell in love, during one of our conversations she mentioned that she felt that she would never marry again, but wasn't opposed to living together. I told her that I would make the sacrifice of leaving my country and move over there to be with her, but I do feel uncomfortable making the move without her first filing for a divorce. I constantly thought about what if I were to move over there and something went wrong in our relationship, her husband could easily come back into the picture and I would be kicked aside.
Two days ago we were discussing the same issue, about her filing for divorce between now and Christmas or at least start filing the papers, but she adamantly refuses to file for divorce. When I asked her why it was so difficult for her to file for divorce she said that she didn't know. I've been "pulling my hair out" trying to think of a reason why she won't file for divorce and I can't think of any reason why not. As I said she has told me repeatedly that she has no feelings for this guy at all and has said that the fact that it's been sixteen years since she walked out should support her not having any feelings for him. I feel that if I'm willing to leave my country why can't she file for divorce from a guy she says she hasn't seen or talked to in sixteen years?
I am hurt beyond words that apparently she has chosen not getting a divorce over our sharing our futures together. Please if anyone can offer me any advice about what to do I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you