Rough Night.

[Karringtyn]

Last night was a dark lonely night for me.

Chalk it up to hell hours and my body aches from waitressing or whatever you want....but I fell apart.

Lately our convos have been silent and I felt there was something wrong..

I asked him and he was like..."uh noooo I don't think there is anything..."

chalk it up again to my overanalyzing..

He wrote something on his facebook status that truly hurt my feelings and made me feel really insecure...I had to take a step back and realize I was being REALLY immature and I needed to tell him it hurt me and then let go. But I couldn't. It was a comment to one of his friends..it wasn't about me...and I needed to realize that.

I called a close friend who is also in a LDR..and she heard me cry and helped me pick apart my brain...

I wanted to talk to him so badly but I knew when he went to bed at midnight...we both were tired and we needed space or it was going to get ugly.

He called at 2:30...I KNOW he KNEW something wasn't right in my head. I came clean and told him...to which he replied..."Oh baby...I love you with my entire heart you have NOTHING to worry about..." This man is the sweetest gentlest soul.

IT's me...it's me and MY insecurities that ALWAYS gets in the way. Sometimes I can't believe someone would want to be with ME and love ME. After years of running from feelings...walls up....it is hard to be in a relationship where I am loved and accepted for all my flaws.

It's been a very rough night...and I have a long day at work.

It was that moment...where the relationship could have went either way.

The house not selling, the wedding being postponed, and money being so tight has just taken toll on me.

4 days till I am with him.

I need this visit more than ever.

[noodle]

Im sorry to hear that *hugs* I so know how you feel (I have just posted a thread myself lol)
Try to keep your head up! Soon you will see him and things will get better!
You can than talk to him about everything in person which I think is better than on the phone and stuff
Hang in there *hugs*

[elina]

I can only imagine how hard all that stuff you're going through must be. I know it might be difficult, but just try to keep your thoughts on seeing him in just a few days
You'll get there in the end and everything will work out at some point for sure!

Take care

[Luisina]

Sounds like an awful night! I'm really sorry

Sometimes I can't believe someone would want to be with ME and love ME. After years of running from feelings...walls up....it is hard to be in a relationship where I am loved and accepted for all my flaws.

You said it! This puzzles me every single day.. However unfair, "PMS-y", insecure and ugly in the mornings - this guy LOVES me.. ME. I'd never had that before.. Not that I'd EVER allowed any exes to get that close to me..Because what if they didn't like what they saw? But with my SO.. it's just easy.. and he's there to reassure me, make me feel better.. Just like yours is for you at 2.30 in the morning!! I couldn't help it.. I was smiling widely when I read that.. so sweet! He sounds like a really good guy..

But oh, those insecurities.. they tend to complicate even the best things in life.. it sucks bigtime!
Sounds like you have a LOT going on with house, stressful work and a postponed wedding, but it'll all work out, I'm sure Because it sounds like you really love eachother.. And in 4 days you'll get to see him..
Just hang in there... everything will be better!

[Caitlin2009]

awwww *Huggles* i know how you feel honey i really do, since everything is happening in my life so fast and for the good my own insecurities are popping up, which i need to talk to Denise about when i call her in a few hours. But he loves you for who you are insecurities and all, he sounds like an amazing guy the way you talk about him

[Silviar]

My mom once very wisely said to me that women are taught to feel guilty about things that should be accepted, such as being loved for who we are, and that it's hard to fight against ingrained teachings like that.

It's not fair, but it's true, isn't it? So, fight against the norm. Be weird, hon. Enjoy it and don't feel like you don't deserve it.

[blankita719]

Couldn't have expressed this better myself - it's been a few rough days here too...What an amazing man though, to just get how you were feeling and calling you to talk. Only a few more days and you'll be there with him!

[Mio]

Soon you will see him! Keep the eyes on that!

[paulawriteslove]

4 more days! Stay strong hunn

[BlackCherryJam]

Oh, sorry to hear that you had a rough night! Take care. You deserve all that love!

[Tanja]

Sometimes when you're really tired and things are stressing you out you get insecure and upset over the littlest things... And the financial strain isn't helping you feel better, trust me I know ...

You're gonna be in his arms in 4 days though so try to keep that in mind and don't ever, and I mean EVER think that you do not deserve this man or his love because you really do! ♥

[PríncipeAzul]

I'm sorry to hear about your rough night. I just think it happens every now and then. Being a waitress doesn't hurt I have learned with my own SO. I'm excited for you and your 4 day countdown though. Eyes on the prize.

Enjoy your vist!

[Karringtyn]

Thank you all for your words and care...