How often do you worry?

[becca53088]

I am curious as to how often people worry in a relationship, specifically a LDR that we are all in. More recently, I have worried most often than not; specifically worrying about whether my relationship will work out or not, whether I will be hurt, and these negative thoughts often occur more often than the optimistic ones. It may be because of the nature of LDRs (we are far from our SO's) and/or it could be that I tend to worry more than others for whatever reasons. My SO knows all about how much I worry and no matter how often he tries to help me or reassure me, I still tend to worry. I have trouble just 'letting it all go.' I overanalyze our relationship every single day, even overthinking what he says and how he says things! Most of the time I feel pessimistic and worried that things will not go how I want them to go. I am optimisitc in all other areas of my life, but when it comes to my love life, I feel insecure and worried well over 85% of the time. Why could this be?

Maybe you are not at my extreme, but I wonder, how much do you worry about your relationship working with your SO? What are some strategies you use to cope?

[blankita719]

Ha! Well, you've already seen how I can overanalyze the little things! I don't worry so much about us not being together for the rest of our lives. He really is the one...The only thing I truly worry about is how/when we will actually close the distance. We're both pretty stubborn when it comes to where we want to end up. Of course I have days where I get insecure, but he normally is great about reminding me how much he loves me -last week being the exception, but he did have a lot of other stuff happening. As far as coping goes, finding this site has made a huge difference. I don't feel alone anymore. I don't know anyone else in my regular life in LDR's so while some can listen, they don't always understand. Other times, I watch lots & lots of movies and stuff from Netflix to keep my mind occupied - I just stay away from the romances!

[Caidsys]

I'm usually good about not worrying. I only get really worried when it's obvious he's hurting a lot and when that happens I just stay online or on the phone with him until we're both sure he's alright. In past relationships I worried about everything being cheated on, things not working out, or otherwise being hurt because that's all I've known in all of my relationships.

I don't really worry about those things anymore I'm actually beginning to seriously think he's the one. I just love him so much and trust him completely. Even when we have small arguments (We've yet to have any huge ones mostly just misunderstandings because it's very hard to tell how things are supposed to be meant in messages sometimes which is why I prefer the phone or mic.) I don't really worry. I get a bit angry though I generally calm down shortly after I'm not very good at staying mad at him and I think it's the same for him one of us always gives in and tries to make up with the other one without even saying that's what we're doing.

If I do start worrying I tell him so or if he's not around I distract myself with other things. Another reason I think I worried so much before was because that was all I had to do really now that I'm working and have friends to go out I don't get nearly as worried because I know when we're not together he's just out having a life too and it's not like he doesn't make a point to tell me where he's going/what he's doing when he can't be online. So I really have no reason to worry. :P

[loveonspeedial]

I worry about the same things, what's gonna happen? how much longer will she love me? will she fall in love with someone else? I honestly freak about all this stuff, it really effects my relationship, trust me keep these worries to yourself, it's only gonna drive your SO crazy!

[MoonWatcher]

I do worry some. Oddly enough, I worry about his physical safety. Tokyo is one of the safest cities in the world, and he's a big boy and definitely well cared for. But sometimes my thoughts are overwhelmed with, 'What if he gets hurt? How will I be able to get to him? What if I can't reach him?'. Not knowing where he was or how he was doing would probably be the worst I could imagine.

The best thing I do is just pray. I pray for his protection and for my own peace of mind. And I also remind myself of the next time I'll get to talk to him. As far as your fears, which are more relationship-based, I'd say the same thing still works. Maybe write on post-it notes quotes from him about those reassurances of his love for you. If he writes you letters, put them where you can see them. Also, talking about him with other people who know him (if you're able/feel comfortable) has really helped me. It allows me to feel closer to him while still getting that unwanted anxiety off my chest.

All I can really tell you is to have faith, and hold onto it for dear life!

[paulawriteslove]

I do worry sometimes. I mainly worry about the little stuff, like, him getting home safe and when I don't hear from him within 2 hours.

[Laura024]

Same here, Caidsys. I was very insecure and jealous in my previous serious relationship. My ex really didn't care about me as much as he claimed. So I think that gave me reason to be worried. Now that I'm with my current SO, I feel totally secure. I know he loves me and wants to spend his life with me because he shows his love is true every day.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think I worry constantly. I worry about if/when I'll ever get to meet him, how he'll perceive the entire package that is me. But also I just worry about him when we go so long without talking or our conversations are not very cheerful because we miss each other. Something any relationship could go through, I suppose, lack of time due to a demanding job and need for higher salary. Other than that, I'm pretty what my SO calls "zen" about everything and just go with what I can.

[NaNi]

I do worry. I have my happy days too, but sometimes I just can't help it. I worry that she might fall out of love with me or that she might meet somebody else. Since we can only visit each other twice a year. Or even less.

[Luisina]

Oh I WORRY alright.. jeez, it's amazing how I get anything done, really

Mostly I worry about him.. what if he's hurt or even..... nope, don't even wanna SAY it out loud!! it's too painful..
I worry every single day.. what if our kiss in the airport was the last we'd ever share? (of course it's not because he's gonna be FINE )
But I can't help but worry.. even him going by plane freaks me out..
And it's gonna get even worse once he goes to Australia and takes on extreme sports like bungy jumping and skydiving.. I both bungy jumped, skydived, river rafted and scuba dived when I was traveling, mind you, but that still doesn't keep me from worrying!

Him meeting someone else is not really my biggest fear.. he's as loving as ever and I believe we can go the distance of course I have weak moments where I worry that he might wake up one morning and not love me... but I try to keep those at a minimum.

His safety is always on my mind however.. and he knows it. But I want him to have the time of his life... so I'll try to shut up once in a while and stop worrying...

[xNanax]

Yes I worry. I worry about him getting sick of my temper when I get jealous, and I worry about him getting hurt when he's late getting on. But mostly yeah I worry if he'll get sick of me and my jealousy lol I get pretty mean and angry. But the girls he talks are just total bitches and disrespect how I feel -_- And one even admitted she LIKES him and still talks to him everyday...*sigh* but that's not the point. He's been patient with me so far, but I'm so afraid he'll say enough is enough. But I have my reasons! Dx
Anyway, I don't worry too often. I guess I do when we have had an argument, which probably happens like every other week or more XD But they don't last long, maybe from 3 hours to one day and then I get over it and am all lovey dovey with him again haha

[Karringtyn]

I am a complete worrywart.


Trying to change my thinking out of the "what if" stage though....takes constant positive thinking on my part....the fact I recognize it is a beginning for me.

[Caitlin2009]

you are talking to the queen of worry lol i always worry. If we have an argument it tends to worry me because i dont like arguing and i think its because me and my ex used to argue endlessly and anytime we would he would threaten to break up with me so now i always worry when we argue but we dont do it often, its normally mostly in the beggining of the month when we argue, i still dont like it and it worries me, and i overanlize many things sometimes as well, ive gotton slightly better with that though

[loveonspeedial]

I feel so much better about worrying about all this stuff, I know I'm not alone! =]

[amandamayaaa]

I do worry sometimes. I mainly worry about the little stuff, like, him getting home safe and when I don't hear from him within 2 hours.

yep thats the main thing i worry about too! i mean i'm also scared about the normal things like him getting tired of being so far away from me and so he just stops caring, but i know how much he loves and cares about me and i know he will never do that.. it's just normal to have those thoughts