why do I let things get to me!

[ginaxnj]

So to explain the title.. There is this guy that I went to college with who always had a crush on me and always asks me if things don't work out with me and my bf that he would love to go out with me. I did not and do not have any sort of attraction to him and I would not go out with him what so ever. He's always trying to flirt with me and I'm just like LEAVE ME ALONE!! So I was on facebook the other day and I was kinda in one of those sad moods to I wrote a status messege about me being sad and he comments with saying "If he truly cares, he wouldn't make you sad at all." and I just responded with no comment because I really shouldn't have to explain myself to him and frankly its really none of his business. He replied back with "Hey, when are you two going to meet and go out?" So I replied back with really soon, in hopes that it would shut him up. So he responds back with "I'll believe it when I see it, I just find it tough to believe you two have been together for a year and have never gone out once? " I was starting to get pissed because I really shouldn't have to explain myself as to why I am in this relationship. I really shouldn't have answered him back but him saying that really got to me, so I said, "when you truely love someone they are worth waiting for even if it has been a year". So him being that dumb ass that he is, replies back with "but youre missing the face to face connection, the chemistry of going out on actual dates instead of just chatting online or doing vid chats. Anyone can say theyre whoever they want to on the net." I was starting to get really heated.. So again I answered him back with, "i really shouldnt be explaining myself to you why im in this relationship.. the connection I have with him is so much deeper then I have ever felt in a close distance relationship.. also people can lie and tell you what you want to hear face to face too.. plus I trust him and I trust him enough to know that hes not or would not lie to me". So he answers me back with "alright Gina, whatever you say" UGH!! It just pisses me off that people are so quick to be negative about LDR. I would not be in the relationship I'm in for this amount of time if I didn't think it was going anywhere.

I'm sure many of you have had people in your life just think so negatively about LDR's. If you have, what did you say to this person to make them stop criticizing about you being in a LDR.

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Honestly?

My mom is/was especially negative, though she loves me dearly and is supportive of CDRs involving me. I just, I stopped talking to her about it at all. Stopped talking about my SO around her. Stopped bringing it up. Stopped giving her straight answers, was so evasive she assumed it was over and left me alone altogether. Is that the best way to deal with it? Ha, no. I don't recommend it, but you asked, so I answered.

For the friends that were negative with whatever information they could get their hands on, I did largely the same thing. Eventually when I was just like meh, meh, meh, okay, whatever, you can think that if you want, they dropped it. But this guy... he seems more persistent. Maybe calmly telling him that you don't want or need to talk about this with him and you are very comfortable in your relationship is a good idea? I don't know. >.> XD I'm not the best to be giving advice on this. I guess I just wanted to say I feel you and give you whatever little help I can.

[Roberta]

Ugh that sounds reeeeeally annoying... x-x I think you handled it pretty well. You didn't seem really angry in any of your replies. But I think if you just completely ignore comments like that they'll go away. He's obviously just trying to get a reaction out of you, so don't feed the fire. Or block him from seeing your facebook profile. xD

[ringkang]

he should really stop bugging you. if you want you can easily delete him off your friends list.

i haven't really had someone who criticized my LDR with my boyfriend. The worst thing they can do is ask about how we are doing given the distance - but that's not really a problem to us. I worry though that someone might just do that especially on the issue of immigration or things in our future which both of us think would be YEARS from now. I would be mad too if this thing happened to me - really mad. And I would talk to my boyfriend about it. He knows how to talk me over these things, to not mind the negatives and focus on the positive.

[ginaxnj]

thanks for the advice guys.. he is definately being blocked. he is too much of a creeper. lol

[Mio]

I think is great that you are blocking him, is not worth it to listen to people like him, so selfish. Try to avoid him everywhere, eventually hopefully he will back off.

[lunamea]

Given that the two of you don't seem to be friends, blocking him is the only right decision. If he would *really* like you, he'd respect your decision to be in an LDR and not try to make you feel bad about it and win you over.

[Snowy.Winter]

I know how you feel.

I used to get questions asked every day when I was in high school. Like what's his name? What age is he?
And I mean, the same question every day, and they used to make fun of me because it took us a year and
a half to meet. No-one thought we would last, they were just so mean about it sometimes.
One guy asked me was my boyfriend blind? Because he was going out with me ): He was awful.
But I did get my revenge, ending up punching him one day, just boiled up inside and I didn't even feel myself
doing it, it just happens.

Keep your chin up, that guy's opinion matters less than 0%. You're in love, embrace it and show the haters
up!

[Zephii]

My response would be "I'm sorry if I somehow gave you the impression that your opinion matters to me, because that was not my intention." I'm sorry he's being an arse to you, he's probably jealous that he doesn't have someone to wait for :0

[ioanna]

i agree with Zephii on this one, your replying to him is giving his post more value that its worth, next time if anything like this occurs just ignore it, especially if its not constructive and not worthy of your time...

[Laura]

Oh, hell yes. Loads of people are negative about LDRs, and it really used to bug me, too. You'll learn to ignore it eventually, though. If he does it again, maybe catch him off-balance by saying that, just because he might be shallow and unable to handle distance, that doesn't mean everyone else is the same. That usually shuts them up. Or direct him onto this site so he can see the multitudes of successful LDRs for himself. He sounds like a jealous douche-bag.