Trouble in Paradise

[Filly]

My SO and I are having a huge row. He has been home now for over a month and we were having a reasonable good time together but something started feeling off for me and I began to feel that our relationship was nothing special and that we were just two friends who are 'enjoying' each others company than two people who deeply care for and love each other.

On Monday I decided that I would talk to him about it and so I asked him what is it about me that interests him and what does he like about me. He refused to answer and got mad that I would even ask those questions. I in turn got really upset and told him that I had a right to know and that if he wanted to continue the relationship then he needed to give me some kind of answer (I know the question was a bit sudden but if he had asked for time to really think about it then I wouldn't have been so upset). Anyways he still flat out refused to answer so I told him it was fine and I was through with this farce and I cut all contact with him. Granted, he's staying 2 mins away from my house and directly across from my best friend so I would be bound to see him.

My best friend had asked me to do some stuff for her yesterday so I had to go over to her house to do it and I saw him but we didn't communicate even though he watched me for an hour with puppy dog eyes, it hurt like hell but I just couldn't (not that he tried to communicate at that point either). I had left my cell phone at home charging and when I got home he had left a message to say when I got home I should tell him, I responded by sending him a message to say I was home but fell asleep shortly after and when I woke this morning there was a missed call an hour after I sent the message.

My thing is I didn't ask an unreasonable question, and there was no need for such a hostile reaction right? And what should I do about that missed call? I just feel so drained and miserable because I really do love him. But if he doesn't want a committed relationship he should just be up front with it and tell me and stop sending me mixed signals.

[Carenza LaRue]

sorry to hear that.

I think he was taken by surprise by your sudden question. maybe it's not the question on itself that made him react this way... but your body language scared him a bit off.
here he is, visiting you and spending time with you and out pops that question with a row as a result. and as a result of THAT, a bit of miscommunication.

I don't see it as trouble in paradise... just a little bump in the road.

you say you love him. if that is the case, then you go to him and have a talk. find out why he didn't give you an answer. tell him how that made you feel and why you reacted this way.
clear up the miscommunication and MAKE him FEEL your love.

we can't read each others minds, maybe there was something in your tone of voice or body language that made him think that he failed you for some reason.
and he backed off because of that. although they don't show, men are sometimes very sensitive when it comes to feelings of failure...

best of luck.....

[temporaryuser]

the last sentence is what you should talk to him about.
it could have been the suddenness of the question, the way that it was asked, the pressure you then put on him for not answering etc. Who knows
He obviously wants to talk to you, and you still have feelings for him. Take a step back and reevalute the situation.

[lucybelle]

No it wasn't a hard question, and he responded childishly, but so did you. Instead of saying something like "I'd really like to know, it makes me feel better" you got all up in arms "if you want to be in this relationship..." etc. Anyways, I think both of you were in the wrong but a simple conversation should work everything out. Best wishes!