I am taking things too serious with my friend

[browneyedgirl08]

Hi girls I need help, I've been talking to my friend since February, he lives in Alabama and I live in Florida. He calls me at least once a week, although lately its been a week and a half.
He wants to come and see me but he hasn't made any arrangements as of yet. His daughter leaves for college on the 14 of August and then he will decide when.

I think what is troubling me is that we are not in a relationship yet but all I do is think about him. He barely calls me and when he does his excuse is work.
He also lives out in the country and has to travel 8 miles to call me. He also has no computer only at his parents house and he barely knows how to type. I kind of want to tell him this is not working for me. Or is it the distance?

The whole thing in general is I would like the communication to pick up more, I don't think he is making much of an effort for us and I think I'm over thinking this.

I am also thinking of going another direction and telling him to stop giving me the run around but yet I don't want to lose touch with him or tell him what to do.
Honestly I may be rambling on because of how I feel about him. I'm just confused, any thoughts

[snow_girl]

I don't see why he has to make an effort if you two are just friends. Has he told you he in interested in a relationship? If you don't want to lose him the keep him as a friend. As of now he doesn't owe you anything, if he calls its a nice chat but by the sounds of his lack of communication he isn't obligated to call often. You don't get angry if you don't talk to your women friends often, its the same deal here. I don't really see what the point of talking to him is unless you are going to ask for things to progress romantically.

[temporaryuser]

how did you two meet? What has been the context of the conversations to date? have you asked him what he is looking for? Does he want to visit just as friends?

[Moon]

August 14 is only just over a week away, why don't you wait a little bit and see if he'll really arrange to visit? I think that will tell you pretty much all you need to know about where he sees this going.

As far as communication, it's a main factor in an LDR, but you need to find out if you're in one first Sometimes LDR's progress a lot more slowly than CD because people are afraid of them, and they need extra time to figure out if it's worth it for them to proceed, and both parties aren't always on the same page. See what happens once his daughter leaves, I bet the picture becomes much clearer then.

[browneyedgirl08]

I knew him twenty years ago and we liked each other, he even proposed but I told him he was crazy as we were kids and we were going out with different people.

The goal of his visit is to meet again, we flirt when we speak. and also state he wants to take me out on a few dates.

The reason why I call him a friend is because he is a friend and we haven't taken things to the next level

We both know there is something going on but just not sure what it is.

When we started talking in February we agreed back then was the wrong timing for us and asked me if he would call me.

I haven't asked him what he wants because I guess I'm old fashion, I do know I have feelings for him and didn't expect them to return

After he comes to see me, we had talked about seeing each other in his city but first he has to come see me.

I Agree I'd just have to see where it goes but I hate the tension

[LeilaniJoi]

Relax, breathe and calm yourself At t his point you are just friends if you haven't had any serious talks about relationships. Does he know how you feel?

I agree that waiting to see what happens when his daughter goes off to school is important. Eventually though, he needs to know how you feel and then you can only see what his reaction to it is. If he's thinking "going to visit a friend" and you are thinking "i'm in love" it could make it very awkward. Honestly, I think I'd have a heart to heart before he finalizes trip plans or spends the money to come visit. At least then you can make a determination of whether or not you are on the same page with your thoughts.

Frankly, especially in Florida, it is very uncommon to be in an area where you don't have phone service of some type. I would think if he was thinking romantically this wouldn't be so much of an issue. Just talk to him, you really need to know not only for your own peace of mind but also so that you don't build this up into something major for you only to find out he is really just thinking "friends" and isn't interested in anything further. You will never know until you ask.

[browneyedgirl08]

Thank you Leilan
I want to add he is in Alabama in the country, he has to travel 8 miles to get cell service.

I understand he has priorities and will wait until his daughter leaves for college.