New Here and Testing out the Water

[Belinda]

Hello Everyone. My name is Belinda and I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have been lurking here for quite a while but have been weary of posting because I was afraid ya'll might be judgemental of my situation.

I have been married for 4 years, unhappily for about the last year. My husband has no ambitions, no dreams, no desires, he is happy with his life just the way it is. He has not had a job in the last 3 years. I am the sole bread winner of the family and also take care of my ailing mother who lives with us. I have been miserable, but I was content on just being married for the sake of having another person in the house besides my mother to spend time with.

I met my s/o (Steve) online almost two years ago, he lives in Florida, playing a popular online game. It started out quite innocently and we were just friends (though he tells me now he has loved me since the moment he met me). I would get a "poke" from him now and then and we would comment on each others posts on Facebook. He was a nice southern gentleman, also caring for his ailing mother. In January of this year our relationship took a turn, I was frustrated with my marriage, my job, my mother, my life and we started chatting online and exchanged phone numbers and began texting. Sometime in April I finally agreed to let him call me and I have been in love with him ever since.

Steve flew here in June of this year and we were able to spend 4 amazing days together while my husband was out of town and once my husband returned I told him I had met someone else and wanted a divorce. My husband is now living in the den in our home while looking for a job so he can move out on his own and take care of himself, and Steve and I are planning our next visit which is happening September 19-25 in Daytona Beach, Florida. I have filed for divorce and Steve is planning to move here the beginning of the 2013.

Needless to say my life is very stressful right now with having to see and live with my soon to be ex and being so in love with someone that is so far away. I am just taking it one day at a time and trying not to go crazy. It will be nice to have other people to talk with that understand some of what I am going through. I hope ya'll don't hate me! lol

[Dezface]

My SO and I met while we were both married to other people. We were both unhappy with our marriages too, for reasons that had nothing to do with meeting each other. People will probably judge but you know the situation and how things happened and why you feel the way you feel, so it's really no one else's business! So welcome to the site

[Belinda]

My SO and I met while we were both married to other people. We were both unhappy with our marriages too, for reasons that had nothing to do with meeting each other. People will probably judge but you know the situation and how things happened and why you feel the way you feel, so it's really no one else's business! So welcome to the site

Thank you Dezface

[Tanja]

The reason this is my favourite forum is because no-one here is judgemental. No matter what your situation is you'll always get the support of those who understand you.

I've been in a similar situation myself. You can't help at who you fall in love with. I'm sorry things are stressful now but trust me, before you know it it's all behind you and you can relax. You gotta do what you gotta do to make YOU happy.

Welcome to LFAD

[Moon]

Welcome to LFAD. The nice thing about the 30+ subsection is that many of us have been through similar things, or know people who have, we get it.

[Belinda]

Thank you for the warm welcome Tanja and Moon

[HisCutie]

Welcome to the no judgement zone!

I can sympathize with you being in a less than comfortable situation. For a few months I found myself involved with someone who claimed he was going through a divorce (I came to know his entire family, so it was legit). We met by sheer luck and I was hesitant (especially since there were also kids involved), but went with my heart. Finally, his time overseas was over and he was actually stationed in my state (which was again luck), so we met while he was on leave. After I paid for a nice 10 day NYC trip for him (hotel, meals, all the tourist stuff, etc), he reports to duty and two weeks later it was over...via text message! She supposedly called him all crying and wanting him back and that's all it seemed to take...despite him already proposing to me. Needless to say, it made me sour on relationships in general and really not all that keen on trusting people.

Why did I just spill this? Well, to show you that on this board, we all have our stories and are more alike than we think

[Zephii]

Your story sounds a bit like mine really Good on you for following your heart and jumping in there! And welcome to the forums

[Karringtyn]

We ALL understand. Welcome to one of the best places on the net!!

[LeilaniJoi]

Welcome to the forum and it's true, no judgment.

I was married for 8 years, my SO for a year and a half. Our stories of our marriages are different but on the night we met we just knew. Sometimes Fate steps in for a reason and for us, we were an item really from that first night. Both marriages were dead and dying and we were both very, very unhappy for lots of reasons that had been in place since long before we met each other. Our marriages breaking up had nothing at all to do with our meeting, it was simply timing. It was like Fate put our hearts together to save us both in the best way possible. Shortly after, his wife walked out for an 18 year old she met online and my husband walked out for the umpteenth time and I refused to let him walk back in. So we were both free to see where this would go. Yes, there probably should have been some time to heal for us both but, as I said, both of us were in dead and dying marriages... the grieving, acceptance and healing were long past already. Both of us are still going through divorces, but they are formalities. We belong to each other, not to the remnants of what were poisonous relationships from our past.

We met in person almost exactly a month later and I moved here about 2 months after that. When you meet someone and click so strongly, no force on earth could have kept us apart. We've been together in person now almost a year and a half and Christmas Eve will be our 2 year anniversary - the night we met.

There are plenty who have judged us on our decision, but not on this forum. Here you will only find people that understand completely the bond that can go so strongly over distance and the friends I've made here have been nothing but supportive. You will get honest opinions but all given in the spirit of helping and constructive criticisms if required, never judgmental.

Welcome to the family

[blankita719]

Welcome to the forums - in this area at least you won't find too many starry eyed naive ones

I'm in Florida as well - Daytona Beach is about 45 minutes north of where I live. Hope you have a great visit down here!

[Belinda]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. It is nice to be able to speak with people who understand and are not sitting in judgement of you and your situation. As said by a few of you in your posts I was unhappy in my marriage for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with Steve and I meeting each other. But once we did meet each other there was an instant attraction that could not be denied. We are so much in love and have so much in common, I sometimes wonder how a relationship can be so perfect.

I look forward to getting to know ya'll and jumping in and participating

[iHeart]

Yep, we all have our stories!! I learned one major thing while going through my own marriage/LDR's/stories....
do what makes YOU happy. Everything else will just fall into place!! Good luck to you & your man!!