Okay a bit of back story.
We met online in a Scifi forum. We instantly became fast friends and best buddies. As the months went by we started to IM each other more and more. We helped each other through the loss of my Dad and his Grandmom a few months later. Our online relationship changed and we got closer and closer. I was going through a very ugly divorce and wanted to get away for awhile. I decided to bite the bullet and come to Holland to meet up with my best friend. As I planned it, the length of stay grew and he got his own place. He told me I could stay with him. Not having to worry about a hotel, I decided to stay the max of 90 days-one just to be safe.
It was weird at first to be staying together in RL everyday, but that ended quickly. It was like it meant to be. We had several long talks. We decided to start dating. For the rest of the time there, about 2 months, we truly lived together as BF/GF. As my time came close to ending a decision needed to be made. You told me you wanted me to come back when I was allowed again (Schengen passport rules). I left and began the long 3 month wait. Last month we decided it was too hard and so we met up in Ireland for 4 days. When we were there I got sad on the 3rd day and pushed for an answer as to our future. He would not give me an answer and we almost broke up. I told him I was not coming back to Holland. He told in the morning that he did want to be with me and asked me to please come back and so I changed my mind and told him I would come back. We exchanged a couples key chain to help ease the pain of being apart and as a symbol of our love. I have only been back for a week and I am already dreading leaving him again in March.
We known each other for over a year and a half. We have been dating for 6 months. We are not little kids. If we want kids, the clock is ticking. I can't afford to keep flying over the Atlantic every 3 months and I live without seeing him. The only way for us to do it is to get married. He does not make enough to show the income required for family formation in Holland but Article 8 will waive those fees for a wife. I am not allowed to work there unless we marry either. He wants to take our time and enjoy dating each other for now. He does not want me to leave and he told me to just stay and break the rules. I cannot do that. I could be banned from Europe if caught. I have to be able to come and go for my business if needed. I am being torn apart inside because I just don't know how long I should wait for him to decide if he wants to marry. If he won't, am I fool?
My question is this, how long should I give him to make the decision to close the distance even though it means marriage?
We met online in a Scifi forum. We instantly became fast friends and best buddies. As the months went by we started to IM each other more and more. We helped each other through the loss of my Dad and his Grandmom a few months later. Our online relationship changed and we got closer and closer. I was going through a very ugly divorce and wanted to get away for awhile. I decided to bite the bullet and come to Holland to meet up with my best friend. As I planned it, the length of stay grew and he got his own place. He told me I could stay with him. Not having to worry about a hotel, I decided to stay the max of 90 days-one just to be safe.
It was weird at first to be staying together in RL everyday, but that ended quickly. It was like it meant to be. We had several long talks. We decided to start dating. For the rest of the time there, about 2 months, we truly lived together as BF/GF. As my time came close to ending a decision needed to be made. You told me you wanted me to come back when I was allowed again (Schengen passport rules). I left and began the long 3 month wait. Last month we decided it was too hard and so we met up in Ireland for 4 days. When we were there I got sad on the 3rd day and pushed for an answer as to our future. He would not give me an answer and we almost broke up. I told him I was not coming back to Holland. He told in the morning that he did want to be with me and asked me to please come back and so I changed my mind and told him I would come back. We exchanged a couples key chain to help ease the pain of being apart and as a symbol of our love. I have only been back for a week and I am already dreading leaving him again in March.
We known each other for over a year and a half. We have been dating for 6 months. We are not little kids. If we want kids, the clock is ticking. I can't afford to keep flying over the Atlantic every 3 months and I live without seeing him. The only way for us to do it is to get married. He does not make enough to show the income required for family formation in Holland but Article 8 will waive those fees for a wife. I am not allowed to work there unless we marry either. He wants to take our time and enjoy dating each other for now. He does not want me to leave and he told me to just stay and break the rules. I cannot do that. I could be banned from Europe if caught. I have to be able to come and go for my business if needed. I am being torn apart inside because I just don't know how long I should wait for him to decide if he wants to marry. If he won't, am I fool?
My question is this, how long should I give him to make the decision to close the distance even though it means marriage?
Comment