30+ Blasted money! a rant and request for ideas/suggestions

[Gurl]

Hi, everyone. There is a post in a Facebook group about seeing signs in what could be construed as random events. Well, it seems like life is sending signs to me too, but not in a good way.

A couple of weeks ago, my car got totaled. We were fine, but now a down payment or purchase of a car is going to eat into the money I need for a visit.

The past few days, the other car in the household has been randomly dieing as we are driving down the road...no pattern but its either fuel pump or electronics both if which are likely to coat a pretty penny. We finally broke down today and had it towed to our mechanic and rented a car...so there goes another big chunk of the taxes.

With all of this, bills that need to be caught up, and so on, its looking like I'm not going to have the 450 or so it will take for the trip and a two day stay. My honey lives with others, so a nice chunk of the cost is motel and eating expenses. It will only take 100 or so in gas IF I can find a reasonably priced ride for me.

Any way, it seems like some something is telling me to say away from this man. I can't see why from this distance, but what I know of him from the past three months says we could be very good together. He has a very part time job, so its unlikely he will be able to help out with the expense.

I don't know how or when I'll be able to save up any money...what I was depending on is my tax return. I can't in good conscious put off meeting him for another year. I'm in my 30s and want a child while I'm still young enough for age related factors not to figure into any danger for me or an unborn child.

How do you all find ways to save money for a trip to see your partner? I know many of you havea much higher cost, are college students, etc so you have more obstacles to over come. My family has one bill that isn't a total necessity which is a cell phone bill. We don't have cable/satellite tv, internet, home phone, or any of this niceties. I'm not complaining about it, I'm thankful to have a roof, lights, heat and food. But money is going to kill this relationship if something doesn't get better fast! Any advice on how to save or get some extra income would be so appreciated. If you read this monstrosity, thank you. I needed to vent as much as to ask for advice. You ALL rock.

[dragonlady]

i am saving it up from the only thing i can, my grocery's.. i use to spent between 60/70 euro a week and try to keep it at 50 or less (2 person household)
and if i have to go somewhere i take the bike or walk instead of the bus or something

[Gurl]

Groceries have been cut down drastically just due to our financial situation. Meat is a very rare treat and we get a good portion of our nonperishables from food pantry places. It would be an awesome idea if we hadn't already been barebones most weeks. Might have to look at my one "bad habit" but that would only get me about $30 a month if I could go cold turkey....thanks for the suggestion, I will ponder it for an inspiration to a similar place to cut expenses.

ETA: I've crunched some numbers and if my taxes don't get screwed up somehow AND we can fix the one ride we have right now AND I can get me a ride for a downpayment of 1000 or less...I might be able to do this thing in the next month (depends on how long it takes to get my taxes back...they will file around valentine's of all days)

[digitalfever]

I know this is the 30+ forum but I was wondering (because your in a long distance relationship) if you'd consider a long term solution?

[Gurl]

Digitalfever I will in time. We've never met in person and its only been a few months. There's other factors, but those two are the main reasons I can't consider a move any time soon and Im not ready for him to do It either.

[AABRCL05]

Not knowing your whole situation, but have you ever considered trying to find some babysitting jobs in your area. There are a couple of different websites (care.com and sittercity.com) where you can search your area for babysitting jobs. I do this for the area that I live in and any money I make from that goes into an envelope that is for any future trip with my SO.

Also, is there anyway your SO could help you with some of the expenses. If you could get there and possibly split the cost of the motel room, or is he could give you some money once you get there to help you out on your way home.

Just a couple of thoughts for you...I def know it is hard when you have those unexpected bills that come up (been there before). So don't think that these are all signs that you 2 are not supposed to be together! GOOD LUCK

[kacie]

Are you able to take on a part time job, or doing jobs for other people, babysitting, pet walking, ironing etc?

Also would it be possible for you to meet in the middle somewhere, so less costs for you and he's contributing to the meet up as well

[Moon]

I agree with everyone, the only way to find the money is going to be by taking on some jobs, there's no other way around it, I'm afraid. If he's worth it to you, then you'll figure it out, but then again, I don't believe in "signs". I also think you shouldn't be responsible for the whole cost of this trip. Since you're both financially strapped, it's only fair that he contributes.

Once your car is fixed, have you considered driving? 275 miles isn't very far and it should be half the cost of flying, at least. There's also options like Greyhound and Megabus that you could consider.

[XxFranticLovexX]

I don't think they are signs that you shouldn't be together, we're having pretty much the same issues (bills, car, etc) here and 1) my room mate is single and 2) I don't plan to use our vehicle to visit my SO this time. I think it's just unlucky timing is all.

Now for things that may help.

- Cut out any unnecessary expenses. Possibly that 'bad habit' you were talking about, going out to eat, buying unneeded items/clothing, etc.
- Anywhere that is close enough, when weather is permitting, walk/bike there instead of driving.
- Save change. Any change that you get from buying anything at all, save it. I only save silver, no pennies, and I have gotten roughly $100 that way alone since September. You would probably have even more saving the pennies as well. It's not a quick way to get money but it can help out a bit.
- When you buy your groceries, toiletries, and household supplies go for knock off brands instead of name brands. Buying in bulk can sometimes be cheaper as well, so compare prices per amount of product.

I wouldn't cut out everything completely from here on out. Maybe take one day a month and treat yourself to something that you have given up to save money. This way it doesn't become redundant and you don't start to resent never being able to do anything because you are always saving.

I'm trying to think of more but that's all I have off the top of my head at the moment.

Also, you said that your SO lives with others, correct? Is there any possible way that you could stay with him to save some money and just crash in his room or on the couch since it's just for two days? You could even offer to pay for your food and pay them for letting you stay there and just offer less than you would be spending on the room. I always work everything out on my end for trips (gathering money, finding a way there, preparing, etc) and my SO sorts everything out on his end (when I can visit, where we will stay, what we'll do, etc). It will put less stress on your planning if you have him helping out in some way.

Totally jealous of that electric bill btw.. I live in the middle of nowhere and ours is $250 this month. Dx

I know I'm not 30+ but I do have to do this stuff myself to save money and I have to manage all of the household expenses because my roommate fails at it and we live alone.

[Gurl]

Thanks for the input everyone. I have considered many but others I have never even heard of.

if my hours at my job weren't all over the place, I'd already have a second job. and having open availability is the only way to get a half way decent number of hours.

If he were working more than two days a week, I would have already asked him to budget for helping with costs. With this being the first time meeting face to face and knowing he has less privacy than I do, there is not a chance in hell I'd consider staying there unless the others were away for a few days.

Frantic, that light bill is paying on the past due to keep it on. Our bill runs between $70 and $190 a month depending on the season and such.

I am looking for another job with steady hours. Then I'd keep this one as part time for a while. Gettin any job around here is ainor miracle. I know it is bad everywhere, but my area still has unemployment in double digits some months anf always at le!st 2-3% points above the national average.

Thanks again ya'll. Something will go better soon...I'm just impatient and get upset real easy.

[Waddams]

I was at a men's small group meeting Tuesday night and they said something that hit home with me. In response to the question "How do you know if you are on the right path? The one God intends for you?" it was said:

"One way to know you are getting on the right path God intends for you is because at first the Devil will place road blocks in your way to try to stop you from going down the path that is right for you. You learn to adapt, overcome, improvise, etc., and if you stay on the path no matter what, and good things result, then you know it's the right path. And eventually it gets easier because you learn to overcome the obstacles placed before you."

Not sure if you're a religious person or not, but I'd never really thought of it that way before and it made an impression on me. No offense taken if you ignore me though! I know religious ways of thinking aren't for everyone.

Best of luck to you.