30+ First meeting thoughts

[Stephi3004]

My boyfriend and I are meeting in 18 days for the first time. We've known each other for 3 months and been a couple officially for almost 2. His only time to take a vacation wouldn't be until the summer and I wanted to meet as soon as we could. So, I was able to have some time off and the means to travel and decided to visit him in March. I have taken all the necessary "precautions". I know him very well and vice versa. My family and friends know of him and they've actually communicated, his family and friends know all about me. He has a very public job and and my travelling there is very widely known in both of our circles.
Some people have said it's kind of weird that I'm visiting him first, before him coming to meet me on my "territory". I didn't really find it strange at all. I'm very independent and kind of adventurous so it doesn't feel that out of character for me.
I guess I'm just wondering if there are other couples who've done it this way, if they had loved ones voice the same concerns and how they handled it.

Thanks everyone!

[Ahava]

In our case I was the one to travel to him to make the first visit. It's because I wanted to as I felt I was also in need of a little holiday and break from my normal everyday life. Then the next visit was made by him and now I am going at the end of March for the third visit. It looks like we are taking it in turns to start with
I think you sound sensible and I wish you luck and hope the first visit goes really well.

[Moon]

I went to him first If I would have tried waiting for him, I'd probably still be waiting

He's very shy, and not the adventurous type, whereas I love to travel, so it just made sense for us to do it that way. My family didn't have too many concerns, and the one nice thing about doing this when you're older is that you don't have to listen to anyone but yourself anyway. My mom was worried about me flying in general, but she always worries when any of her kids get on a plane She was afraid that we might not like each other as much in person, then I'd be stuck in his apartment with him for days, but that can happen in the beginning of any relationship.

So yeah, I definitely feel it's perfectly normal for the girl to visit the guy first, or whatever situation works best for the couple involved. It's been almost 4 years, and I'm usually still the one doing most of the traveling!

[TwoThree]

Oh hey, I'm 30 now!

I went to him first If I would have tried waiting for him, I'd probably still be waiting

Same though I can't really blame my SO because my country is pretty scary to visit.

I never stopped to think "hey, he should be the one coming to me". It just doesn't make sense. You just do what's within your ability to meet, and if that means you go to him, you go to him.

[Carenza LaRue]

yeah..... I traveled to him as he didn't get enough free time and I needed to take a break from my situation. He could only take two days, so we planned my visit from Friday till Tuesday.

and also, I got lots of 'friends' telling me it wasn't normal for a woman to travel to see a man in a strange country. According to them, it should have been the other way around.

But hey.... I'm 42..... my mom took care of my 5 year old whilst being away cause I didn't want my girl to be involved yet.
So off I went..... for a 9 hour flight.... to Philadelphia.

We had a great 4 days there.... went to the Museum of Art and did all kinds of crazy things and then I flew back.
No regrets.

just enjoy each others company.... doesn't matter where that happens.

[Moon]

Oh hey, I'm 30 now!



Same though I can't really blame my SO because my country is pretty scary to visit.

I never stopped to think "hey, he should be the one coming to me". It just doesn't make sense. You just do what's within your ability to meet, and if that means you go to him, you go to him.

My deepest condolences

Hell, I live in the US, which, according to Raine, is a scary place, too Walking through Philly almost gave him a heart attack, and we were in the good part!

yeah..... I traveled to him as he didn't get enough free time and I needed to take a break from my situation. He could only take two days, so we planned my visit from Friday till Tuesday.

and also, I got lots of 'friends' telling me it wasn't normal for a woman to travel to see a man in a strange country. According to them, it should have been the other way around.

But hey.... I'm 42..... my mom took care of my 5 year old whilst being away cause I didn't want my girl to be involved yet.
So off I went..... for a 9 hour flight.... to Philadelphia.

We had a great 4 days there.... went to the Museum of Art and did all kinds of crazy things and then I flew back.
No regrets.

just enjoy each others company.... doesn't matter where that happens.

Hey Carenza, are you going to blog about your visit? I'm dying to hear how it went, and what you thought about my little area of the world (good and bad!). Hope your trip was great!


Ooops! Sorry to derail your thread, OP!!

[iHeartt]

I went to my SO city first. Mainly because I had more time off. Yep, my family & friends were concerned, but i was ALWAYS traveling alone just because I was able to!

[Stephi3004]

I just want to post a thank you for your responses! It's really nice to connect with people who know how it feels and to share concerns and good moments too!

[ttfit2]

I'm so glad I found this thread. My SO and I are making plans to meet for the first time the 3rd week in March 2013. I am going to visit him first. I am very excited about this and can't wait to meet him. I don't find it odd either to go visit him first. It's so nice to talk with people who are in LDR's.

[leonsfangirl]

I did the first trip too.
I don't think it's wierd, it's just a case of who it works out easier for.

[ttfit2]

What a difference a day makes. Now I'm not sure when our first meeting is going to take place. We both decided to wait to see each other when we will have more than a short weekend. Flight costs aren't cheap and I want to have more days to spend with him. I am still looking forward to our first meeting.

[Gurl]

I'll be going to see Rick in 13 days if all works out...by the end of March at the latest. With our situations, and me getting my taxes back monday, it's just easier for me to go to him. Plus, I'm in control this way. I have the car and the money...so if things go stupid I can leave any time I want instead of trying to get someone else to leave. I'm so scared and nervous and excited all at once LOL I've got to me a car to replace the one that got totaled, and a few other things (like switching shifts for the days I am planning to go) and then I'll book the room etc etc. For all of us heading for a visit this coming month, Be safe and have fun....

[8705milesaway]

I made the first trip and despite being nervous, excited and everything inbetween, it couldn't have been better. I visited my boyfriend for 5 weeks and my parents were concerned but they made the effort to get to know my boyfriend and his parents so that gave them some peice of mind. Best wishes xox