30+ My SO is still looking ? Im scared to have a broken heart again

[Thanh]

I and my SO knew each other from a dating website and we have been in a serious relationship for a little over 3 months. We talk about the future and got a plan of living together soon.
But he still has his profile on the website (its currently hidden). I know he does go on the site sometimes. Im bothered definitely and upset. Im not sure if I should ask him about it. (He doesn't know that I know his profile is still there) because I dont want him to think that im jealous and always sneakily check on him.

Do you think that I should give him more time ? He always seems serious with our relationship but I cant trust him yet... The reason is, I have had my heart broken many times before and its hard for me to trust anyone completely again. I even feel that Im not really in love with him sometimes because im scared that he would hurt me. I dont know....

Im worried and confused. What is he still doing with his hidden single ads on a dating site ???

[lyonsgirl]

I have to assume that you know he still has his profile because you still have yours & check yours. Which... makes me unsure why you're so upset.

If I were in that situation, I wouldn't be worried. I'm engaged and I still get singles ads sometimes when I'm browsing the internet (and haven't looked for a relationship online).

ETA: If you really are concerned, ask him about it. I wouldn't hide that you know his profile is still up.

[Thanh]

I dont have my profile there though... I got to know about his because a friend of mine has a profile there too.

[Sailormars]

Hi Thanh! Sometimes guys aren't so particular about updating their pages. They're not as meticulous as girls, but if it really bothers you, you have to bring it up. Say something like... "hey... I happen to revisit where we first met, and I notice that..." You can do it girl... it's better to do it over skype or phone if you're faraway as opposed to texting/emailing. Eliminate a lot of negative vibes as much as you can. Trust takes time actually

[AABRCL05]

Just ask him, yeah he may be thrown back by the question but I am sure he will be willing to talk about it with you. It can be hard at first, but that is the only way you are going to get the answer! Good luck!

[Ahava]

I was gonna reply to this yesterday, but got distracted. We had a similar situation. We met on an internet dating site. It used to bug me when I could see that he had been on the site. (If you go and see a persons profile it shows you forinstance that they have logged on within the last week). But I took a humourous approach to it forinstance telling him jokingly abou all the weirdos that contacted me. I mainly kept logging on to see if he was still logging on lol and also to detele all the mails etc from all the "weirdos". There was one old guy from NY that was willing to pay for my tickets if I went to see him!!!! (I'd never spoken to him and never replied) and lots guys also searching after a "meal ticket". Well anyway once I said to him something like that the only reason I logg on anymore is to look at his picture (it's one of my fave to this day). He then said hold on and emailed it to me!
I was the first one to deactivate (you cant totally delete your profile) from the site and after I did, I told him. It took him several months before he deactivated his. I think it just goes down to been "lazy". I can't even remember when he finally did, coz I haven't thought of it since.
All in all I think it took him maybe about 6 months since our first contact on the site before he deactivated his profile.