he has changed and I am getting sick and tired of it.. what to do?

[barefootinbeth]

I believe being distant with each other in an LDR is not a good thing. If that is what he is doing then you need to seriously consider it. Being distant can bring trust issues and hurt feelings. My LDR has made me realize this. I use to do the same thing and ask for time but that was selfish and inconsiderate of me because there are two of us in this relationship. Its not all about me.

[ayarusworld]

ooh im sorry to hear that u broke up w him.

Actually this is also happened to me before, and it wasnt LDR. He used the same reason as ur SO used. But we agreed to try again, and it kills me coz when I tried again and thought he also will, no he cant be bother to try. He just date another girls and in the same time i will say ''use'' me to take care of him. So I left him and now I'm grateful for that coz it leads me to meet my SO and now I'm very happy.

Take ur time and I hope you will find someone deserve to hv u.

[Hollandia]

So sorry to hear that .
I hope when you are ready you find the person that treats you as you deserve to be treated.

[Carenza LaRue]

it's getting pretty confusing here....

and although I am not a schoolgirl any more..... I am just.... well...... confused.

we have had so many arguments lately..... it seemed like every conversation we had, turned out nasty.....
then we had this moment last week..... where I decided this was not what I wanted ..... apparently I closed up enough for him to see that I was serious about ending our LDR.

then I see him posting all kinds of songs on his FB wall...... and between us.... we always had some sort of 'conversations' through song lyrics.

he posted this on his wall....The Temper Trap - Leaving The Heartbreak Hotel (fantastic song btw)


Oh my, oh my friends
When can I see you all again?
Built up castles made of sand
They may fall, but memories remain

Don't let this end
Dreamin' of way back when

In and out your door
We were all someone else before
Leavin' shadows on each other's walls
Laughed and cried, and laughed and cried some more

So don't let this end
Dreamin' of way back when

Don't break the spell
I'm leavin' the heartbreak hotel

Catch you in my sleep [x5]

Catch you in my sleep (I'm leavin' the heartbreak hotel) [x6]


so we had a small 'friendly' conversation.....first time in a long time that didn't turn out nasty....
and I said I found these lyrics interesting...

he didn't react to it.... but we talked and talked about normal day situations.... and it felt like nothing ever happened...

my ex is giving me a hard time at this moment.... he is taking me to court because of my plans of moving to Philadelphia.... and I am taking my little girl with me.
so my SO and I talked about it..... and he said..... 'well.... he is giving you a hard time because you're moving over' ....

I didn't react to that in return.... I was surprised.....
I guess he didn't think it through..... and maybe he felt the same as I did...... that nothing has changed in basic...

so.... here I am...... single again.... not in a relationship..... but not free...... and getting more confused by the minute....

I SO hope our relationship isn't over.... I love this man to bits.... his good sides AND his bad sides....
please send me some good vibes..... I SO need them.

[JoeyBug]

I'm sorry to hear it ended

I'll be sending good vibes your way!

[dragonlady]

it's hard but lets hope it will turn out good?
your in my thoughts

[Jmoc1024]

Sorry to read this....LDR are hard and require a lot of communication and trust. From what I have read you have tried various times to get through this hump in your relationship with him and he is not responding. The ball is in his court as the saying goes. If you chose to move on, my question is, can you look back at the relationship and say that you gave it your best? You don't deserve to go through pain alone in a relationship whether it be a LDR or not. It is obvious that you are willing to talk but he is not. Sweety, you can't make him come to the talking table he has to want to come willingly. He too just like you has to want to get over this and make this work. I find it very unfair that he is calling the shots on what can and cannot be talked about. Give him an ultimatum...either we talk this out or we make a choice. The ball has been in your side of the court and you are doing nothing of it. If this is going to work it will take the both of us to get over it. It was a misunderstanding, the more we delay having this conversation the more it makes me feel (this is where you say how you feel). I need to express how I feel and how this situation has effected us because it seems like you are not aware of the effects it is causing...(and then you go from there). Take a stand a final stand that way he knows that you are serious and this has to be resolved because it is eating you up inside.

[Thanh]

Honestly I have been through the same stage with yours many times in my longest LDR before (3 years). According to your update, I am sure he appreciates having you more now. Thats why all the songs posts and express... It feels nice because you have his attention ..
I think it is best if you can stay cool like that, just to keep the balance of your mood and feelings. That balance will influence his mood too, everything will stay calm and he will want to spice it up again, it wont take long...