30+ How long til you ask the tough ???s

[Chickadee30]

We've been talking for just over 3 months. Have seen each other 3 times for several days per visit and have plans to see each other 2 more x I'm the next 3 months. When do I ask him if this is something that might work out? How do I ask him? He's said a lot that lead me to believe he's considering this an LDR but I prefer obvious statements vs skirting around the issue. Plus I don't assume he's thinking what I'm thinking. I'd also like to avoid pressuring him or even sounding like I am, but I'm a single mom and don't want to be toying w my emotions or w someone who's just looking for a friend to go on adventures w. Do I wait for him to make the first serious talk move? Or don't play around cause I'm 31 and my end goal is a serious relationship, not to casually date someone from afar.

[blankita719]

My take is that it's best to just ask. Ask him how he feels about you. Ask if he's ever considered (or been in) a LDR. This way, if he's feeling like this is something he wants, you know you can take the chance. If it isn't, then you know early on and can handle it accordingly. Good luck

[lucybelle]

If you want a relationship you should tell him. Otherwise you could be wasting a lot of your time and getting a lot of feelings hurt. Just tell him "hey, I really like you and I think we'd be great in a relationship, what do you think?"

[Moon]

Like the other ladies above me said, you just have to ask. Just a "where do you see this going?" is a good start, even if he's not ready right then, you should at least find out if he's open to it. 2000 miles is a long way to go for just someone to have the occasional adventure with, so he must like you at least more than that. Good luck.

[JoeyBug]

I agree with everyone else. You need to ask. I know it's hard sometimes, I was in the same situation before we entered "official" relationship status. You have to be upfront and tell him how you feel and what you'd like from the relationship, but at the same time, allow him to do the same. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you!

[Chickadee30]

Thanks all! I emailed him Saturday night. He replied yesterday w a cute response saying he wasn't ignoring me but was attempting to put his feelings in words and its harder for him cause he's a guy. Long story, I know it doesn't sound good, but the email was very sweet and funny, we have similar personalities and work better in teasing and sarcasm than we do in for real situations. So we shall see! Plus he's visiting w fam and traveling home for the holiday so the delay doesn't concern me. Now I'm just anxious to hear what he has to say. Thanks again for the listening ears. will keep you posted.

[lucybelle]

Sounds good

Keep us updated!

[JoeyBug]

Thanks all! I emailed him Saturday night. He replied yesterday w a cute response saying he wasn't ignoring me but was attempting to put his feelings in words and its harder for him cause he's a guy. Long story, I know it doesn't sound good, but the email was very sweet and funny, we have similar personalities and work better in teasing and sarcasm than we do in for real situations. So we shall see! Plus he's visiting w fam and traveling home for the holiday so the delay doesn't concern me. Now I'm just anxious to hear what he has to say. Thanks again for the listening ears. will keep you posted.

Sounds like something my SO would say...we always communicate in sarcasm and teasing. Thanks for keeping us updated and I hope it all goes well!