30+ New 2 forum & need support

[GiGi35]

I've known this guy for over 3 yrs. We met in rehab and shared a lot of emotions there. We met up after we were both out & still had thaat connection. However, we were both involved with ppl at that time so we stayed friends. Now situations have changed. He lives in FL & I'm in PA. We have always had a connection and as much as we fight it I feel it has grown stronger but we never discussed if we are just friends or something more. I've tried the DTR things. He says things like wish u were here so I could be neaar u, sends me romantic texts about kissing me, he calls me sweetness, my dear, honey, etc. We talk & text every day. So my question is am I in a ldr? How do I approach again on this topic of what we are without losing a dear friend? Things just became serious like this Aug 2012 when he pretty much lost everything due to his ex girlfriend. Thanks everyone!

[Moon]

Well, I don't think anyone here can tell you if you're in an LDR, or not. That's something only the two of you can determine.

I think you need to just ask what you mean to him, and go from there, if you don't, you aren't going to know what's in his head. Good luck.

[JoeyBug]

Hi and welcome to LFAD!

I think if you want to know where you both stand, you're going to need to ask him. You need to weigh up in your mind whether or not you want to risk the friendship.

I was in a similar situation with my now SO. We were very close friends and things grew from there, but I didn't want to ask him about it properly in case it destroyed our friendship. As it turned out, he felt the same way and that's great. I'm not saying the same will happen, but I am also not saying it won't.

I don't think you can really fathom how he feels without asking him directly. I would hope that he is a good enough friend to not break off the friendship because you asked for some clarification on your relationship status.

I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how you get on!

(Also, what does DTR stand for? )

[Trethsparr]

(Also, what does DTR stand for? )

It stands for "Define the Relationship."

Welcome, GiGi35!

[GiGi35]

Thank u all forr ur support. He tells me he cares about me, to stop second guessing my feelings, & he prefers to write out his feelingsso that it isportrayed correctly. He has a lot of stress rt now with looking for work and staying on top of things. I don't have friends who call/text every day to ck in with me or male friends that say those things to me. I've laid it all out there and I guess I'll be patient for a bit longer or tell him that if we are friends the other stuff needs to stop

[JoeyBug]

It stands for "Define the Relationship."

Welcome, GiGi35!

Thanks

[GiGi35]

Update: we have still yet to dtr but he called us a "pair" via text. So I'm guessing we are together.