30+ im feeling miserable :( my LDR is over

[Thanh]

All is my fault. I misunderstood him and didnt trust him enough...
One week ago, I didnt know he had an accident that he had to spend time in hospital and wasnt allowed to have his phone, so he stopped contacting me, which is abnormal to me because he usually texted me twice every single day and we skyped a lot.
I sent many texts and emails and called him but I got no answers. And I thought that he was ignoring me and wanted to leave me... I have been an extremely insecured person since I had so many bad experiences in relationships in the past... all those worries and sadness stressed me too much that I made myself a huge mistake, I signed up on a dating site... I knew it couldnt help me at all, but somehow I did it. And a friend of his saw me there and told him.
When he just came back home from the hospital, he sent me an email to say goodbye because he cant (nobody can) accept that I was looking to meet someone else while he was getting hurt and stayed in the hospital...
I replied him, explained my feelings and thoughts to him but Im feeling I cant breath now. I dont know what I should do, especially with this damn distance. I dont know if he will answer my mail or not. I dont know if he will ever trust me again.
Our fresh and wonderful relationship is ruined because of my fault. I just wish I didnt do that mistake and could show him my love again...

Thank you for reading this, Im sorry i have noone else to talk to so I write here... I appreciate any advice.

[Moon]

Well, you definitely jumped the gun by joining a dating site, BUT his excuse is crap. Yeah, maybe he was in the hospital, but he could have had someone, friend or family, send you a quick message to let you know. There's no reason why he couldn't, and not doing so is unacceptable in my book.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, next time, be patient and less impulsive, but honestly, I think you're better off without this one.

[JoeyBug]

Well, you definitely jumped the gun by joining a dating site, BUT his excuse is crap. Yeah, maybe he was in the hospital, but he could have had someone, friend or family, send you a quick message to let you know. There's no reason why he couldn't, and not doing so is unacceptable in my book.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, next time, be patient and less impulsive, but honestly, I think you're better off without this one.

I do agree with this, if one of his friends could tell him about seeing you, they could have told YOU about him being in the hospital. Yes, you were impulsive and could have handled things better, but he has some of the fault lie with him as well. Don't be so hard on yourself, the blame does not lie all with you.

I'm so sorry this has happened

[TwoThree]

What you did was impulsive and not very wise, but as the fine ladies above said, if he was in touch with a friend long enough to hear all about your dating website account, surely he could have found a way to let you know that he was gravely injured in a hospital, so personally, I don't buy it for a second.

Also what kind of hospital takes away your phone and doesn't allow you at least one phonecall/text? Something fishy is going on, and while I understand how you're hurting, I'm sure you're well rid of a liar.

[Thanh]

Sorry I had you misunderstood because I skipped some details... I will tell more now.

We had a plan that he was coming to visit me on the 21st April, which means yesterday morning my time. And it was a week before his flight, I lost his touch for a few days then got a message saying that was his brother, told me he had an accident and in the hospital, and that he was ok, just needed to stay there for a few days as doctor said. Certainly I got anxious, I tried to talk to this brother and got no reply. I didnt know if he was still be able to come visit me... I worried and thought of a lot of possibilities. I checked that dating site (where we knew each other) and even though his profile was hidden, I still saw his last login, it was after I got the text from his brother (?) Thats how I made sure that he was lying to me and wanted to leave me...
On the due day of his planed arrival, I went to the airport but of course he didnt show up. I went home feeling heart broken and emailed him to say how I thought and felt about his silence....
And today I got his goodbye email... and here it comes, its my fault to have signed up a new dating profile.
I thought of the possibility that his brother could use his computer and logged on his stuff on internet unintentionally. But adding his silence, I made up my mind that he was lying to me. I still dont know the truth yet, unless he responds my last email today and explained it...

[JoeyBug]

Sorry I had you misunderstood because I skipped some details... I will tell more now.

We had a plan that he was coming to visit me on the 21st April, which means yesterday morning my time. And it was a week before his flight, I lost his touch for a few days then got a message saying that was his brother, told me he had an accident and in the hospital, and that he was ok, just needed to stay there for a few days as doctor said. Certainly I got anxious, I tried to talk to this brother and got no reply. I didnt know if he was still be able to come visit me... I worried and thought of a lot of possibilities. I checked that dating site (where we knew each other) and even though his profile was hidden, I still saw his last login, it was after I got the text from his brother (?) Thats how I made sure that he was lying to me and wanted to leave me...
On the due day of his planed arrival, I went to the airport but of course he didnt show up. I went home feeling heart broken and emailed him to say how I thought and felt about his silence....
And today I got his goodbye email... and here it comes, its my fault to have signed up a new dating profile.
I thought of the possibility that his brother could use his computer and logged on his stuff on internet unintentionally. But adding his silence, I made up my mind that he was lying to me. I still dont know the truth yet, unless he responds my last email today and explained it...

Then you are not at fault. The blame lies with him, if he was lying, if he's decided that he doesn't want to be with you he could have at least told you outright and not just left you worried about him. That's wrong on so many levels.

[Tooki]

His story seems dodgy as hell. When I was in hospital, phones were fine (even though I didn't own one at the time.) It also seems like he is just ridding himself of any guilt or blame by pinning things on your 'dating site' situation. As 23 said, if he had enough time to talk to the friend who found your dating site profile, he had enough time to talk to you.

You didn't do any favours by joining the dating website when you did, but I couldn't see things working out anyway if this is how things ended now.

[ChibiFelicia]

I agree that there is something fishy going on here. I wouldn't blame yourself, joining the site didn't do you any favors but he's at fault here.

Edited as i read OPs second post.

[SonyaKitty]

Couldn't he have at least told you he can't talk for some time? I would be upset in this, and I would probably unintentionally go all bitchy on him when he dose talk to me, which would make him not wanna talk to me cause we would just fight. Joining a dating site is a bit extreme.....were you just trying to make him mad? Get his attention and all so he'll contact you and fight for your relationship? I dunno, I don't think there are men that would do that in your case.

[Thanh]

Couldn't he have at least told you he can't talk for some time? I would be upset in this, and I would probably unintentionally go all bitchy on him when he dose talk to me, which would make him not wanna talk to me cause we would just fight. Joining a dating site is a bit extreme.....were you just trying to make him mad? Get his attention and all so he'll contact you and fight for your relationship? I dunno, I don't think there are men that would do that in your case.

No SonyaKitty, I wasnt trying to make him mad. I think I did that because of my anger, anxiety, lonesome, and foolishness.... I felt completely ignored and upset. I just did that for my own self.

I think I will wait for him to respond to my last email for a couple days, then I will know what I should do next. Thank you all.

[SonyaKitty]

Well no matter what happens, remember he's the one in the wrong for basically ignoring you for so long

[Jmoc1024]

OK I am lost..maybe it is me but I have been in the hospital four times. 3 time to give birth and one for an operation. My phone wasn't allowed during the birth and of course during the operation but when I got to my room I was allowed to have my phone and laptop. Plus his story has flaws in it too. Now I agree you did do wrong by going on the website but you are not perfect and that is understandable. You had mix emotions. He could of at least taken the time to listen and another thing is it just me or does his friend seeing you on a website sound too good to be true under the circumstances...what a coincidence??!!!!! He was on a site and the first face that popped up was yours??? Really!!! I don't know about anyone else but when I would go on the sites many faces popped up it was kind of hard to recognize anyone unless you searched their name. I am not defending or trashing anyone I am just saying that there is more to his story then he is saying in my opinion.

[Thanh]

Update: I got his response eventually. And the truth is I had mixed emotions while he had a serious accident. Doctors had to do many test to make sure his head was ok and there was no bleeding in brain. And no cellphone was allowed in his room where there was some machines on running.

I was too impulsive and impatient even though his brother texted me to let me know what happened. As Moon said, I jumped the gun by appearing on a dating site. So thats my mistake... that broke our deep emotional connection. But Im now trying to fix it and hope it will work because i really love him.

[Karringtyn]

While I understand what you are saying, things DO NOT add UP!

He is placing the entire blame on you. DO NOT take FULL responsiblity for this whole situation. No, you shouldn't have joined a dating site....but the whole situation...to quote someone else....is DEFINITELY DODGY!!!!

Sending you a huge hug..

[JoeyBug]

While I understand what you are saying, things DO NOT add UP!

He is placing the entire blame on you. DO NOT take FULL responsiblity for this whole situation. No, you shouldn't have joined a dating site....but the whole situation...to quote someone else....is DEFINITELY DODGY!!!!

Sending you a huge hug..

^^ This basically, he needs to take some of the blame. He is leaving it all with you and the whole situation just sounds like it's a big lie that he's trying to make you feel guilty and sorry for him.