First time meeting went great but ...I need your advice on this

[Chlo]

Hey Alizee.

All of these worries and questions you have really need to be directed to your SO. They'll never go away until you get a direct answer from him.
You don't or shouldn't seem pushy by asking him if you could both plan another visit at some point in the future. This way, you could pretty much answer all of these questions. You can find out if he is serious about you and wants a relationship, or just want to be friends (like you said). If he avoids your question, don't back down. If you're confused and his signals suggest different things, tell him you need answers, because it's not fair on you. Be good to yourself, I can see you not knowing the situation is driving you crazy.
Communication is the key! If you keep second guessing things, you'll only end up worrying yourself silly!
Just talk to him, I'm sure everything will be fine. Good luck!

[Ejoriah]

To answer your question, my boyfriend and I try to at least have an estimate of when our next visit will be while still in the current visit. Most of the time I'm the one saying "hey, we should be buying plane tickets soon." and he just needs to tell me what dates work best, or maybe help me look for the best deal.

Just talk to him, Alizee. Do you really want to play games and not communicate properly just because you're afraid he'll see you as needy? If wanting to see your boyfriend is needy then we're all needy on this board!

[alizee]

Just talk to him, Alizee. Do you really want to play games and not communicate properly just because you're afraid he'll see you as needy? If wanting to see your boyfriend is needy then we're all needy on this board!

That*s such a good point !!! I am beginning to think that this is the best way to see what exactly he wants ! But I am so afraid, as I have developed feelings for him, and I wouldn*t want to lose him!
And I know I shouldn*t make supositions, but why else does he keep calling me?? To be just friends??? Why would he want a phone woman friend???? It does not make sense this ....

[alizee]

I just found out that he will be busy this weekend with a team building from work and come to think of it, ever since he got home he had busy weekends - with his job or with his house work, and I am thinking maybe that is why he didn*t ask me to visit him. He still says he will have to take 2 days off next week, so he can finish what he has to do.
And, now I told myself that it would be selfish for me to bring my insecurities and my fears and to ask him about another meeting. I am waiting for things to calm down and to see his attitude on my birthday which is coming soon.

[Ahava]

My man is also shy and because of that I was afraid he wasn't attracted to me. Well it's our 6th visit coming up soon and also our first year anniversary
I myself find it hard to speak about things so if ever there is anything bothering me or I have insecurities I write him emails/texts. It is much better to ask than let your mind start wondering and drive you insane :P

I hope you two get this sorted

[xanzbarr]

I am also thinking he*s doing the best he can in this relationship, but I find it so strange!!!!
From the beginning of our relationship he was so "mild" and I had to push/ to put my foot down in order to obtain some things - I asked for his phone number, I suggested we should do voice calls not only texts (and for the 95% of the texts, I was the one who initiated them and he always replied) and a few days ago, with our dates - I WAS THE ONE WHO suggested the second date, because he was so "out of this planet" (maybe from the height difference, which the second day didn*t seem to exist!!! maybe it was from the shoes he wore!!!) and so, I said it and he was ok with it! Why must I always be the one who pushes him??? Why can*t he be more determined/ present in our relationship??? I guess that*s his pattern in love relationships ... and maybe you*re right and he will not change!

Hi! Ive been following your romance and I can tell you some men are"planners" meaning they plan all aspects of their life because that is how they are able to organize and keep things in their life smooth. Possibly he planned only spending two days with you at first wondering how things would go and he wants to take things slowly. he must care about you because he is communicating well and when he says he would. I think you should take deep breath and relax a bit and realize things are going well just not as quickly as you would like. Hes not going to change his personality and their are things about him you like so do you really want him to change?..I was married to a man who planned to the extent as to where hed lay his keys change and knapsack when he came home..didnt work out but it was for other reasons..You may just have to get used to some of his ways and accept him for who he is. That said best of luck to you. Remember men dont continue to be with women they dont like and I think he thinks well of you!

[TwoThree]

I don't think it's a very good idea to resuscitate threads that are old and that are about a poster's specific problem, not a general question like "How often do you communicate?" you know? Sometimes it hurts the OP to be reminded of something they talked about so long ago, and sometimes it's entirely irrelevant to where they are now in life.

Case in point, IIRC Alizee broke up with her SO a while ago.

[lilspitfire]

Why do you care what other people think? It's your relationship not theirs. If you're so concerned on what strangers will think, maybe he isn't the one for you.

My bad, I did not realize it was an old post