30+ I ment nothing to him ...:(((

[alizee]

Hi fellow LDRers!!! I am no longer in an LDR. In fact I am single and lonely ... again!!!
Today has not been a good day for me. He called me and broke off with me. He said he had been planning to tell me for a few days.
His reason was that he met somebody 2 weeks ago, and went out with her 2 times. I am just so sad and I feel like crying all the time ....
I guess he didn*t like me and to him 6 months ment nothing!!!!! He was willing to give up 6 months of relationship (even if it was an LDR) for a woman he met 2 weeks ago.
He said to me "I really really like this woman and I would beat myself up if I didn*t try a relationship with her!" and she insists so much in seeing me ... That was so cruel to me - this means that he really didn*t like me at all, I was just a way of passing time ... but I appreciated the fact that he was sincere to me (and I told him that), but this doesn*t heart anyless ...

I mean I poured my heart into this relationship but he didn*t do the same ... I guess I should have known from the time that we met in September, because he only stayed 2 days, but I always tried to find reasons to understand him, but I guess NOW I SEE THE TRUTH, NO MATTER HOW HURTFUL IT IS ...
I guess now I explain myself why he was so passive/ shy in our relationship ... he didn*t like me ... and I thought the man had emotional issues, but no way!!!!
I GUESS I MENT NOTHING TO HIM, and to me the saddest thing is that he was the first man in many years that was close to my idea of soulmate ... but it was all just wishful thinking from my part ...

How can you not develop one single feeling for a person with whom you speak 6 months??? How can you let go of that and not having any regrets whatsoever???
And to tell the other person - I really really like her and I want to try it ... that*s inconsiderate, but I guess he does not think of me, because I am far away so it is easier that way ...
I was willing to do whatever it took for this relationship to work, even to let go of the difference in height between us, but that was not a two way feeling!!!
I guess I don*t have a reason anymore to be on this site ...

[SJ22]

I guess you are really not looking for advice or reason but just comfort
I am sorry he did this to you, he isnt worth your pain <3

[differentcountries]

Hie,

I am sorry for him saying such inconsiderate things in the wave of the break-up/new relationship. Not everyone is so smooth in the transition process. That does not mean he never had feelings for you. A relationship being over is always sad and upsetting when you have not seen it coming, I guess the only thing worse I MAKING someone break up with you (because you know they are not telling/acknowleding what they feeel). It was not nice of him to date another women behind your back, but at least he is telling you about it after a short time and does not continue his double act. I am sorry, but people are not always the best behaved in break-ups. I know there are some things I wish I did not do in terms of my own break-ups, and nice people do the strangest things. I hope in time you will have some good come out of this. Wish you the best no matter where you are

[abna1]

I'm really sorry you're going through this right now. I'm also going to say, it doesn't necessarily mean that he never had any feelings for you, but I understand that you're hurting. Just give yourself some time and I hope you'll still stick around the forums anyway

[Tommy C]

I'm sorry alizee There's not much anyone can say to help you ... but I understand what your going through losing someone you invested time into and loved. I know talking to others has helped me ... so I think sticking around the forum and talking to your friends here can help. Good luck and hugs.

[mellif]

I am so sorry to hear this It must be a pretty hard time for you right now. Please take care of yourself-- as SJ22 said, he isn't worth your pain at all!

[differentcountries]

Look at the bright side; now you can get yourself a tall man.

[alizee]

Look at the bright side; now you can get yourself a tall man.

You made me laugh in all my sorrow ...

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You didn't deserve this whatsoever. It's better that you're not with someone who doesn't love you though. And I will second differentcountries. Go find yourself a Dutchie

Hugs from Lori

[alizee]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You didn't deserve this whatsoever. It's better that you're not with someone who doesn't love you though. And I will second differentcountries. Go find yourself a Dutchie

Hugs

Thank s, but I guess I am done with LDRs!!!!
He jumped in the arms of her by only knowing her for 2 weeks and what about me and the relationship we had for 6 mohnts???? He told me he doesn*t like to be alone, but the thing is that he was the one who told me (in the beginning of our relationship) that he was single for 5 years!!!

[Deleted]

I can understand how you feel. It sucks when people do things like that. It makes you feel worthless...but you aren't! Love always finds a way. Take time, love yourself, keep an open heart. You will get through this. I believe in you.

[Fretboard_Magic]

First off, I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two. I understand how hard it is to go through a breakup. I think we all do. So, let me clarify that what I'm about to say below does not mean I don't understand it. Well, actually I don't understand your situation in a strict sense...but you know what I mean. I've been dumped many times myself. I know what it feels like.

Okay, so there are some things I've noticed. One, I understand from our PM conversations in the past that you've always had this "height issue". The question is, did he actually say he had a problem with it, too? Did he say he preferred this other girl because she was shorter? And, did he actually say specifically that you meant nothing to him? Because I don't think such was the case. I mean, I don't know how he viewed the height thing, but at least I'm sure you meant something special to him, and that was probably why he was honest with you about his wish to pursue what he thought would be the right thing for him to do. It sounds like he ended the relationship with you before things actually got serious with the other girl. He may have gone out with her a couple times, but he probably had to do that to determine a number of things about his life. But I don't really think he necessarily cheated on you. He had to be sure about something, and the only way to do so was by taking control of the situation and spending some time with her. Not just for his own sake but for your sake, too(which is what his honesty implies in my opinion). I think that's actually something respectable, not inconsiderate. But that's just me. I'm sure many would disagree.

I for one think that it would have been way worse if; number one, he stayed in a relationship with you knowing there was someone else who was more compatible with him than you were, and thus became unhappy overall; or number two, he was dishonest about what was going on and cheated on you while staying with you. But it doesn't sound like he did those things. It sounds at least to me like he was being more cautious about the relationship than anything else, and that probably also contributed to his coming across as "shy" as well. I doubt anyone's being a "bad guy" in your situation. You two dated for a while, and it didn't work out. He met someone else and his gut must have told him something, or else it probably would have taken longer for you two to break up. But the way I see it, it was probably meant not to work out to begin with, which in a way means it actually worked out anyway, that it didn't. Confusing, I know.. But when you can look at a situation in that way, it may become easier to deal with.

But really, I think your initial post was probably you wanting to complain and rant the hell out of it more than anything else, which is fine. You're obviously upset right now and you can't think clearly. Totally understandable. Right now, I say you embrace this "mourning period" because it's important to do that. But once you've calmed down a bit, take a deep breath and try to observe your situation in an objective matter. There are many different aspects that you might want to look into: how you two communicated, whether or not you two shared the same values, the height issue(which seems to be a big thing for you at least), reflecting on the way in which he broke up with you(versus some other breakup stories perhaps), how you reacted to the breakup, how well you actually knew him, and something else like exploring whether or not you were taking everything too seriously too soon, that sort of thing. Eventually(hopefully), you'll be able to see things from a more clear and unbiased point of view, and apply what you've learned from this experience to various situations including your next relationship.

I'm sorry if I come across as harsh or cold or whatever, but this is just my 2 cents. It's not that I don't care about your feelings or anything. Like I said, I'm sorry about what happened. But, I figure at least one guy should voice his unbiased opinion while most others concentrate on comforting you and being on your side. For that, I don't mind becoming a "bad guy", so to speak, lol. xD
Take is easy.

[OperaDiva]

Honey, this is not about him right now, it is about you. You need to take care of yourself right now, and thinking and obsessing about the whys and the how-could-he is not going to help you. One very sincere piece of advice - don't contact him for a few months at least! Talking to him will only make the pain worse, believe me. Concentrate on getting past the pain, being good to yourself - eating well, sleeping well, exercising, meeting friends. Pick a hobby, take dancing lessons, join a choir, a book club. Cry if you need to, but don't let the tears drown you. Come here to vent if you need it.

One day you will be able to look back objectively and realize this was for the best, and you learned and grew as a person. It feels bad, but you can and will get through this.

[Malaga]

I remember years ago a friend's ex broke up with her by saying, "you're a nice girl but I have 80% chance with this other chick I fancy, so we're done".

After the initial shock and heartbreak, she bounced right back. She said, him being such an idiot at breakup was a blessing, because it makes you recover pretty fast, as soon as you become aware that you've dodged a bullet and there's nothing to regret.

I know you had feelings for this guy but very soon you'll realise you deserve so much more than what he was ever willing to give you.

[alizee]

First off, I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two. I understand how hard it is to go through a breakup. I think we all do. So, let me clarify that what I'm about to say below does not mean I don't understand it. Well, actually I don't understand your situation in a strict sense...but you know what I mean. I've been dumped many times myself. I know what it feels like.

Okay, so there are some things I've noticed. One, I understand from our PM conversations in the past that you've always had this "height issue". The question is, did he actually say he had a problem with it, too? Did he say he preferred this other girl because she was shorter? And, did he actually say specifically that you meant nothing to him? Because I don't think such was the case. I mean, I don't know how he viewed the height thing, but at least I'm sure you meant something special to him, and that was probably why he was honest with you about his wish to pursue what he thought would be the right thing for him to do. It sounds like he ended the relationship with you before things actually got serious with the other girl. He may have gone out with her a couple times, but he probably had to do that to determine a number of things about his life. But I don't really think he necessarily cheated on you. He had to be sure about something, and the only way to do so was by taking control of the situation and spending some time with her. Not just for his own sake but for your sake, too(which is what his honesty implies in my opinion). I think that's actually something respectable, not inconsiderate. But that's just me. I'm sure many would disagree.

I for one think that it would have been way worse if; number one, he stayed in a relationship with you knowing there was someone else who was more compatible with him than you were, and thus became unhappy overall; or number two, he was dishonest about what was going on and cheated on you while staying with you. But it doesn't sound like he did those things. It sounds at least to me like he was being more cautious about the relationship than anything else, and that probably also contributed to his coming across as "shy" as well. I doubt anyone's being a "bad guy" in your situation. You two dated for a while, and it didn't work out. He met someone else and his gut must have told him something, or else it probably would have taken longer for you two to break up. But the way I see it, it was probably meant not to work out to begin with, which in a way means it actually worked out anyway, that it didn't. Confusing, I know.. But when you can look at a situation in that way, it may become easier to deal with.

But really, I think your initial post was probably you wanting to complain and rant the hell out of it more than anything else, which is fine. You're obviously upset right now and you can't think clearly. Totally understandable. Right now, I say you embrace this "mourning period" because it's important to do that. But once you've calmed down a bit, take a deep breath and try to observe your situation in an objective matter. There are many different aspects that you might want to look into: how you two communicated, whether or not you two shared the same values, the height issue(which seems to be a big thing for you at least), reflecting on the way in which he broke up with you(versus some other breakup stories perhaps), how you reacted to the breakup, how well you actually knew him, and something else like exploring whether or not you were taking everything too seriously too soon, that sort of thing. Eventually(hopefully), you'll be able to see things from a more clear and unbiased point of view, and apply what you've learned from this experience to various situations including your next relationship.

I'm sorry if I come across as harsh or cold or whatever, but this is just my 2 cents. It's not that I don't care about your feelings or anything. Like I said, I'm sorry about what happened. But, I figure at least one guy should voice his unbiased opinion while most others concentrate on comforting you and being on your side. For that, I don't mind becoming a "bad guy", so to speak, lol. xD
Take is easy.

For the height issue I was willing to let it go and open my mind, because he had so many qualities that I looked for in a man, so I wouldn*t have let height be a stupid problem. He never said anything about it, so I don*t consider it a problem for him, because he could have said something after a short time from our meeting in September, but no he didn*t.
And he only said he really really liked her and that she insists in seeing him so he wants to give himself a chance with her. But my question is - how can she insist so much in seeing him if they only went out 2 times???? Can she be interested in his money????
And yes, I apperciate the fact that he told me about her and that he was sincere to me (I told him that!), but this does not make my pain get thinner ...