30+ Hasn't told anyone yet?

[PGVRCV]

So, he and I have been together, at least as much as we can be given the LDR status, for a little over a month now. Once he and I had the talk about being committed to each other despite not having met yet, I told all of my friends about him. At some point I asked him what he's told his friends and family and he said he hadn't told anyone because he hasn't really seen anyone and had been busy. It bothered me, but I brushed it off. Now it's been over a month and I have a feeling that he still hasn't told anyone yet. And I know he's seen friends and he's with his family now as I type this post. When he calls later, I'm going to ask him about what he's told people or what they think of the LDR, etc. Am I wrong to be mad if he hasn't told anyone yet? I mean what's the secret? Is he embarrassed?

[Moon]

I think you need to give him more time, it's only been a little over a month, he may feel it's simply too soon. Some people wait until they're a little more sure and attached, it's nothing to get upset about.

[Elizabeth123]

Why the rush? Let the relationship grow at it's own pace.
You communicate with your SO and listen to his needs as well.
You say you have told friends...have you told your immediate family?
Good Luck

[monkinlove]

Yeah, agree with the above. Give it time. It's still early. I met a girl online months ago. And while we are still in the "getting to know each other" phase I didn't tell anyone about her until just this month. Well only a few people earlier. But I'm a bit private about my romantic life. For me personally it's because of being an introvert. Telling people about things takes energy and I usually like to talk to people one on one about things and new things in my life. But that's me. I don't know his situation. So give it time. It would be a silly thing to fight about at this point in the relationship.

[Ahava]

I agree with the above posters.
There is no hurry.
I could even understand if some people wanted to wait until they have met in real life before telling everybody.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I'd say wait at least for 3- 6 months. Don't rush, or push him, because only one month might not be enough time for him to be sure that this is what he wants. He might feel uncomfortable about telling everybody until he is sure he wants to commit to such a serious thing. Let him handle it his own way.

[Mims27]

I'm with the above posters. I was in his shoes once...It took me months to start telling people. Not because I was hiding my SO but because I was worried and scared they wouldn't understand. Give it time, there's no rush!

[XxFranticLovexX]

What everyone else has said. You also may want to consider that he may not be the type of person to just go tell people that he's in a relationship for no reason. I mean, I've never really found it necessary to actually go out and tell people that I'm in a relationship. If the topic comes up then I'll, usually, say something, but if not I just keep it to myself. If that's the case, it doesn't mean that he's ashamed or trying to hide anything, it just means that he's a more private person and doesn't see a reason to go broadcast his relationship status to everyone he knows.

[differentcountries]

Be careful as to use weather he told people as proof of anything. Be curious about his life, how he is and how he perceives things. He may have his reasons to not tell yet.

[piratemama]

I think you need to give him more time, it's only been a little over a month, he may feel it's simply too soon. Some people wait until they're a little more sure and attached, it's nothing to get upset about.

I agree with this. It's hard for some people to open up about relationships, and an LDR makes it even harder. I can understand that you want him to be happy and to want to shout it from the rooftops, but it is very early yet. Just wait and see what happens, but don't read too much into it.

[Benni]

B and I met in person almost a year after meeting online. He didn't tell any of his friends until that first face-to-face meeting. And then it was just his closest friends.

[imabrokendoll]

I'm with everybody else here... Try not to stress about it, or make it as more than it really is. Guys are private about their love life most times, and a LDR begs for a thousand questions he might not be ready to answer yet. It doesn't absolutely mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't give your relationship the importance it needs.
Be a little patient, I'm sure everything will be ok! Good luck!

[Hollandia]

You might want to be at 5 but he is still at 2, you can't force a relationship to go at your timetable. You have to wait for him to get there. When he is ready , he will............or he won't but sorry 1 month is not even a "relationship" for many people over the age of 30. I was still at the "dating" stage before 3 months. I was still seeing other people and assumed anyone I was seeing was too, and there was nothing wrong with that. I know you said you two talked about being committed, but that means different things for different people.

Like others have said..........it's been a month. Enjoy dating him and stop worrying about things that are down the road for now.

[PGVRCV]

Thanks to everyone who replied to this post. I realize that at a little over a month (closer to two now), it's all new and it might have been too soon to freak out about him not telling anyone. Since my post, he has said he's told his friends and is working on his parents since they're old fashioned (I get that, since mine are the same way). I'll just leave it at that and work on closing the distance. I guess I'm just impatient

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Thanks to everyone who replied to this post. I realize that at a little over a month (closer to two now), it's all new and it might have been too soon to freak out about him not telling anyone. Since my post, he has said he's told his friends and is working on his parents since they're old fashioned (I get that, since mine are the same way). I'll just leave it at that and work on closing the distance. I guess I'm just impatient

Do be very careful about working on closing the distance. So early, it might not even be a good idea to talk to him about closing the distance. I tried to do that early in the relationship, and it totally freaked him out. Even later, two years ago, I invited him to visit me, and he said Yes, and then rather quickly got cold feet, and backed out as fast as he could. It's a touchy subject, and he can't stand it if I push or pressure him. So I've learned to stop pressuring him, and let him take the lead, however long it takes him. Otherwise, we end up arguing about it, and wrecking what we have together.

You are young. You have plenty of time to get to know each other, and build a good foundation for the future. Take it slow, and enjoy what you have now.