How broke would you go?

[Hollandia]

I had one before and so that much I am quite prepared for. He says is more than ready too. Once we get pregnant Article 8 applies so closing the distance would not be far behind. Getting married won't help but any unborn child that he declares his, I looked into this, opens up his right to not be denied a right to his child. We are of course already working on closing the distance regardless. Somebody mentioned this but we already spend quite a bit on travel to see each other so that money will go right to raising the baby. He has an apartment in NL and I have a house in USA so one of them would go and so that would be less out of pocket too. We have a pretty good support system on his side. His parents and other family and friends are quite close. Mine is a different story but needless to say, no child would ever go without a roof over their head and a hot meal on their plate. It is just that we are at the ages where every chance counts now and yes, we decided to spend every penny we could spare (outside of paying bills) and go for it.

I would freeze my eggs in a heartbeat, but that is not covered by insurance and hella expensive to do it proper. When I say "broke" I mean spending my available cash after paying my immediate bills. Spending any savings and pushing the credit cards, I don't mean not paying rent or electric. Yet, it is still a gamble and money being spent that could be saved but then I think about people that spend tens of thousands on IVR, again, not covered by insurance in USA.

On the brighter side, our time apart this time around will be much less and some of his family and our friends are already talking about joining us for part of the time. I hope we are not being overly rash because usually we sit home and watch movies and chill in to save money for our travel but this time we are pushing that envelope a lot more. As I said before, fingers crossed. Up early and Croatia here we come.

[differentcountries]

Once we get pregnant Article 8 applies so closing the distance would not be far behind. Getting married won't help but any unborn child that he declares his, I looked into this, opens up his right to not be denied a right to his child.

I think Norwegian laws have something of the same thing, it is called family reunion and basically mean that blood relatives, especially a parent, can get more easily into the country than a spouse. But then also I think that income counts, which means I will have to get a full time job soon since they will look at my income for the last three years.

You sound like you have enough finance to cover expenses. I guess by broke you mean more like just breaking even. Good luck with Croatia

[Hollandia]

I think Norwegian laws have something of the same thing, it is called family reunion and basically mean that blood relatives, especially a parent, can get more easily into the country than a spouse. But then also I think that income counts, which means I will have to get a full time job soon since they will look at my income for the last three years.

You sound like you have enough finance to cover expenses. I guess by broke you mean more like just breaking even. Good luck with Croatia

For me broke means spending my savings and pushing up my credit card debt, so sorry if I made it sound worse. I should have worded it differently. I am a person that is used to having cushions and I am basically removing all cushions. I would never spend my bill money, never. That just creates holes. I own a property in USA, I agreed with Ex not to sell till the market would get it the most money. The debt I am creating is stealing off the money I will get from the sale of that property. That was the money that was to be my nest egg. I have been careful till now to not hit it too hard, I feel bad because now I feel like I am. I also don't wish to sell it yet.

Yes, there are income requirements for spouses and that is why we are still LDR, but a child is different. We are also in a country that won't take any of my income or assets into account, but my business is up one month and down the next. We paid for Croatia in advance and we might decide to extend there or go to UK it all depends on how long I have to be alone and who might come and join me or us and where he can look for work in other EU non schengen places. It is all just up in the air and pretty scary to some extent but my SO thinks Croatia might just "be the place to make it happen". LOL. I am just feeling a bit jaded and see it as another trip on a plane and money out of pocket, how cynical have I become?

We are calling it our adventure. Pushing the finances and seeing what life will be like someday. We also discussed that if we do get pregnant, our days of this type of travel will be far down the road so we should be positive about the fact that this is also our last possible chance to do an adventure for years to come.

Well, packing is done. Cleaning is done. He wants me up in 6 hours but now I can't sleep.

[summerkid]

wow.. i hope you love Croatia and that it brings the two of you good luck and a healthy happy baby!

[Petals]

Good luck with baby making

I know how important having a child is to some people so understand the urgency.

[farandaway]

I had one before and so that much I am quite prepared for. He says is more than ready too. Once we get pregnant Article 8 applies so closing the distance would not be far behind. Getting married won't help but any unborn child that he declares his, I looked into this, opens up his right to not be denied a right to his child.

I hope everything is going great for you, babywise, too

I know you have helped me earlier with ideas for my and my American SO moving this way eventually. I'm probably way too old soon to think about having a baby but I'm determined not to lose hope just yet. That's why I paid attention to what you mentioned about Article 8. Does that mean that it would be easier to get a residence permit in an EU country if you have a child together? I'd really appreciate your answer since trying to google it wasn't so clear.

[Hollandia]

I hope everything is going great for you, babywise, too

I know you have helped me earlier with ideas for my and my American SO moving this way eventually. I'm probably way too old soon to think about having a baby but I'm determined not to lose hope just yet. That's why I paid attention to what you mentioned about Article 8. Does that mean that it would be easier to get a residence permit in an EU country if you have a child together? I'd really appreciate your answer since trying to google it wasn't so clear.

It depends on the country. It won't help you much in UK, they have thousands of families being kept apart due to recent immigration changes and court cases have been ongoing. NL states on the IND website that you can apply for Article 8, so there is a stronger chance of it making a difference. You have to check out the country individually to see what precedents have been set. He and I would definitely hire/do/ whatever was needed to utilize Article 8 should we be lucky enough for this to happen. You still have to file the paperwork in the country you wish to live in. Also of note, there is another law for "Freedom of mobility Act" for Europeans being allowed to live and work anywhere in the EU and to bring their spouse and family with them. The requirements need only be that the EU partner has a job, not nearly as stringent as it would be for NL where he has to have a job and meet certain contract standards. This is why we having him look for work in UK while also in NL, so if NL jobs don't meet the standard then hopefully a UK one will. It's kinda messed up, it is easier for him to bring me to UK with him, then to his home country. It is really unfair and the same is true the other way around, for a UK citizen to bring a partner to UK they have much more stringent requirements than my Dutch SO does.

https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-a-uk-residence-card

This page shows that an non EU person like myself can apply for a residence card if I am married to a non UK EU citizens that has a job in UK. This does not apply to a UK citizen's spouse. NL has similar laws.

https://kdw.ind.nl/KnowledgeSessie.a...=MWOEU_Burgers
Likewise, this page won't work for my NL SO, but it would work for a UK citizens to bring their non EU family member to NL.

Kinda fraked up huh? It makes no sense at all, they are forcing nationals to leave their own countries. It would make much more sense to go back to the way it was before, where if you proved you had a valid marriage, you had a right to live with your spouse. I keep hoping that NL would just do that, but I don't see that happening so that is why I search for the UK jobs for him, I also like the idea of landing in a country where they speak English, it would make my getting a job there much easier once I can get a residence card and have a permit to work there via marriage to my non UK EU spouse(when we marry). For me personally, several countries in the EU would be fine by me, but for now he wants to limit it to UK, NL and Ireland.

[80anthea]

It's so screwed up, maybe we should swap houses. ...I'll go to the Netherlands to get my SO over and you can come to the uk!

[Hollandia]

It's so screwed up, maybe we should swap houses. ...I'll go to the Netherlands to get my SO over and you can come to the uk!

I would do it in a heartbeat but my SO would to retain rights to his video game and movie collection. Lol.