30+ At a loss

[Karysma]

Brief run down.

I've been in a LDR with my SO for 9 months now. We live 2 hours away so it's not a great distance. Over the last 9 months I have gone to see him at his place over 15 times. He has come to see me twice.

As of today I have only met one friend of his. He didn't even introduce us. He saw his friend and just started talking to her. She stopped talking for a second and introduced herself and he said "oh yeah this is..." that was it.

I have asked why when he talks about his friends to me why he doesn't use names. His reply is that he normally doesn't. Ok, strange to me but I accepted that.

Recently I brought up putting a rough end date to our distance and ever since then his communication has been few and far between. I am pretty sure none of his friends or family know about me. The reason for this thought is on FB he has himself as single. I can only see posts he makes. If I respond to one of his posts along with his friends he responds to all of his friends but not to me.

For the last week I have been asking if he wants to skype. He either says sure give me a while and then I don't hear from him or he gives no reply. We were suppose to skype tonight but that again has been canceled. He says he just found out someone messed something up at work and he has to go fix it (at 11pm?)

I guess I am looking for thoughts on the situation. My friends are telling me I'm the other woman. That I'm not his GF. I am now worrying that maybe they are right. What do you guys think just from the situation? What can I do?

[differentcountries]

I think it is weird that he doesn't introduce you to his friends. Never mind Facebook. I don't think you are the other woman, then he would be more inclined to come to your city. But it doesn't sound like he knows where he is going with the relationship. 17 meets and nine months is a lot to not let you into his social circle.

[Petals]

Step back from this relationship is my suggestion. He obviously needs space to sort out his feelings - give him that. Let him come to you now. In other words - reduce your contact for now...all will be revealed very soon.

FB may or may not be an issue, but the fact that he has never introduced you friends nor family is a red flag. That along with his distance since your mention of closing the distance at some point suggests that you are not on the same page.

[rhabdoviridae]

I agree with Petals - sounds like you aren't on the same page. If he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends/family and doesn't acknowledge your presence...it's time to ask him outright what his thoughts are. I doubt you're the other woman in this scenario, but thst doesn't make it all that much better. I'd tell him if he doesn't contact you soon to talk, you're done.

[Karysma]

Thanks everyone. I contacted him about wanting to talk. Waiting on a response. We started out on the same page but yes it's starting to seem like we are no longer there.