There is a (strange?) pattern in my otherwise astounding relationship - we invariably argue about something petty two to three days before we see each other. Does anyone else have this experience or is there a doctor in the house who might have an explanation? It happens every time.
-
-
Yep. We usually don't like each other very much right before a visit. He gets cold and I get cranky. We usually don't Skype on the last night because of this.
I even told him: right befre I go ,you act like you don't like me very much, but I hope you will in person! And he does, every time...Last edited by differentcountries; January 14, 2015, 04:13 PM.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits -
-
I think that knowing I am coming makes him aware that he has missed me, and that is going to have to say goodbye again, and he struggles with all these emotions without even having me there at that time too soothe him. I know - he has never said anything, but this is my opinion - that he has a fear of abandonment that he tries to cope with by getting cold. Then, without meaning to, he sets fire to my fears of abandonment - which I think stems from a traumatic move I made as a child and also a bad breakup in the past - and I start to think he doesn't love me anymore and that is the reason he is acting this way, not because he is scared. I tend to take it to heart if I don't feel like I have his support...I have cried over Skype for this reason. He gets cold and I get very emotional - which can be a good mix in person, but not so much online. As long as I have started on my journey, like sitting in the airport bus, the setting changes because now he can believe that I really will come to see him.Originally posted by Pony View PostI made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
-
It happened to us every single time. We had disagreements every time before I took my trips, mostly because I get stressed out and worried about the trip, but it always resolved itself throughout the trip and until we saw each other we were perfectly fine.
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
-
Ditto, this and he knew I would be there soon and was sick about hearing about my trip plans and itinerary. A few times he would ask me the day before, what time are you landing again? I wanted to strangle him.Originally posted by snow View Post"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
Comment
-
Yep! Here too!sigpic
I love him. Forever. And every day after that.Comment
-
Well, we don't argue more before our visits, but we do tend to have less communication. This is because he is busy trying to get things ready for my arrival (we're renovating) and he knows he will see me soon so he spends more time sorting stuff out. It usually leaves me feeling a little neglected, but I don't make a fuss because I know what is happening - this might explain why we don't argue. If I made a fuss, we would definitely have arguments at this time.Met Online : July 2013
Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
Proposal : December 2014
Closed distance : February 2015
Married : April 5, 2015
Comment
-
I can't say I've had this happen, but I can see why it can cause arguments. I don't think it means there's anything strange about it. Lots of others here can relate so hopefully that's put your mind at ease.
Comment
-
Me and my SO are both 29...close enough. I can't say we've ever gotten into an argument right before we see each other, partly because we have not met yet. But I can say that we've gotten into arguments every year since we started dating because both years I had PLANNED to go see her but unexpected things have happened which have prevented me from coming.
I can understand why a couple might argue right before seeing each other. Travel can sometimes be stressful, and there might be anxiety being felt by you, your SO or both of you especially if you are meeting for the first time, or it's been an extended period of time since you've seen each other. I don't think it'd be that big of a deal so long as the arguments stopped once you were together in real.Comment
-
I tend to get very frustrated and upset before visitS. I guess it's bc I know I can see him only for a short time and that I will have to say goodbye again soon. This is all in my head and goes away as soon as I see his smiling face ��Comment
Comment