30+ How will I/we survive this?

[Hillary]

I've never done a message board. I'm technically not even in a LDR yet... I'm in love and he got a job offer out of state. I live in the Philadelphia area and his new job would be in NY, NY. Like I said, I'm in love. I haven't been in love for about a decade. Which means the last time I was in love, I was a different person and it was a different kind of love. I see this man as the one. With having said all of that- we have only been dating 5 months. We've been casual friends for about 2.5yrs but only romantic for the last 5months. To add insult to injury, I just started a new job one week ago, so relocating is just not realistic for me right now. I told him I loved him just last week for the first time. He didn't respond until the next day, telling me he was caught off guard and he feels the same way. I know deep down how hard it is for him to communicate feelings/emotions so I tend to believe this. He has been mulling over this offer for days and is about to decide in the next 48hrs. He says that I'm as important as his career and this is the hardest decision he has ever had to make. I had used every ounce of energy to be as objective as possible and tell him that this job is a good opportunity. And I know if he stays its for me... And he could resent me later. BUT HOW CAN I DO A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!! I never thought I would ever agree to such a thing. Ever. We live walking distance from each other now. This would be absolutely terrifying. I'm going to loose this

[differentcountries]

Many here has done LDRs for years. If you both have jobs you can possably afford visits. For time in between visits, there are many tips on this site.

[TaraMarie]

In "long distance" terms, you guys are practically around the corner from each other. You can do this. I've been doing it for three years. He is here every weekend, and technically lives here, but works in NY. I also couldn't ask him to leave his amazing job....not for me......I would feel too guilty. But you can see each other all the time. You CAN do this!

[Moon]

You can take NJ Transit from Trenton or Hamilton for something like $15, it takes about 90 minutes or less to Penn Station. You should be able to do that at least every week. Don't make such a huge thing out of it, it just a challenge to overcome, of course you can do this. Change is what you make of it.

[Ella85]

My boyfriend and I do it from across an ocean. PA to NY isn't as bad as you think it is, seriously! You could do that every week. The last time I saw my boyfriend was nearly 5 months ago and I am just about to fly out in 2 weeks. We make it work, although it is really hard on both of us at times. At least if you miss him you can just jump on a bus and be there in the same day. It doesn't cost a fortune from PA to NY and I think it's only one bus depending on which part of PA you are from. I get a bus across from NYC all the way down to OH where my SO picks me up and then we drive down to KY. It costs me $180-280 a time (I have a kid so this time time it was more for buses as she is coming with).
You can do it.

[Cbrez]

I'm not going to tell you "You can do this!" or "Chin up!"..because I'm not you. Only you can decide whether or not you can make it through a long distance relationship. Only you and your SO have the power to "survive" this. Because this is your relationship. Not mine, and not anyone else's

But what I can do is give you from helpful tips that helped my relationship through the rough and windy road of distance. It's a very difficult journey..but there is beauty in it as well

1. Communication is EVERYTHING. I cannot stress this enough! Texting, phone calls, face time, face-to-face. It is the foundation of your love. And if you remember it's importance it may help guide you through long distance.

2. You mentioned times, and decade and, "only 5 months". Do not let time, and society's perception of time weigh you down. Love is love. There is a beginning and you can apply a date to it..but no one can ever PLAN to fall in love. Relax and enjoy time <3