My boyfriend and I have now been together for about 8 and a half months. After a great family party for July 4th, we started saying "I love you", albeit because I initiated it. It really felt like the right thing to do and he responded positively. I'm almost always the one to say it first when we conclude a conversation or visit, so I tell myself that if he didn't feel right saying it, he wouldn't. We've hung out with his family and old friends, I visited his house last month for the first time (instead of us just meeting halfway for a camping trip, like we always do), and his communication got really frequent for a while there, which spoiled me.
We went camping last weekend and it was the first time that neither of us was 100% on our game, which I think is very good for growth. I was having assorted physical issues and was feeling fussy and uncomfortable, plus it was cold up there in the mountains. He seemed a bit full of piss and vinegar, so to speak, which was good for me to see, too. We still had a good time overall and enjoyed snuggling under the stars, hiking, taking selfies of us looking cute, etc.
What is worrying me is that I keep correlating this last week's drop-off in communication with my "issues" during our trip, as well as my asking him a question that kind of put him on the spot. We talk a lot about career growth because we're in the same field and looking to catch up to our peers who have been in it longer. We both want to keep working in our field in his state, and it's satisfying to have the same geographic and career goal, but advancement in this field almost always requires couples to spend time apart. I asked him where he'd be willing to live for a job and then I asked what he would think of me trying to find a job closer to him if he had to relocate even further away than he is now. He hesitated a moment and then said that he would like that. We talked some more about our job searches and then I concluded with, "Well, this is all neither here nor there anyway because we both have agreeable jobs and at least we live only eight hours apart."
Now I'm paranoid that asking him that question, as well as having my physical discomforts, turned him off because I haven't heard from him as much this last week. I've gotten spoiled with lots of contact, so maybe is it just my turn to text, call, and Skype? Even after this much time together and saying that we love each other, I worry about "bugging" him too much across the miles. We've discussed it before and he's assured me that I'm not bugging him. I just worry too much that when he doesn't initiate contact, it means he's tired of hearing from me. At the same time, I don't want to back off for longer than a weekend because I don't want to send the wrong signal. We're supposed to meet up again this coming weekend and he even suggested the weekend after that, too, since he'll be on a business trip that takes him closer to me. I want to discuss logistics sooner than later but am agonizing over whether to call him before the workweek starts or wait for him to get around to texting or calling.
How does one strike a balance between reading too deeply into these communication glitches, and thinking you messed things up by asking too deep a question? Proofreading my post is making me think I'm freaking out too much, but I crushed on this guy for a long time before we got together and that makes me too afraid of doing something stupid to ruin everything. Thanks for reading all of this!
We went camping last weekend and it was the first time that neither of us was 100% on our game, which I think is very good for growth. I was having assorted physical issues and was feeling fussy and uncomfortable, plus it was cold up there in the mountains. He seemed a bit full of piss and vinegar, so to speak, which was good for me to see, too. We still had a good time overall and enjoyed snuggling under the stars, hiking, taking selfies of us looking cute, etc.
What is worrying me is that I keep correlating this last week's drop-off in communication with my "issues" during our trip, as well as my asking him a question that kind of put him on the spot. We talk a lot about career growth because we're in the same field and looking to catch up to our peers who have been in it longer. We both want to keep working in our field in his state, and it's satisfying to have the same geographic and career goal, but advancement in this field almost always requires couples to spend time apart. I asked him where he'd be willing to live for a job and then I asked what he would think of me trying to find a job closer to him if he had to relocate even further away than he is now. He hesitated a moment and then said that he would like that. We talked some more about our job searches and then I concluded with, "Well, this is all neither here nor there anyway because we both have agreeable jobs and at least we live only eight hours apart."
Now I'm paranoid that asking him that question, as well as having my physical discomforts, turned him off because I haven't heard from him as much this last week. I've gotten spoiled with lots of contact, so maybe is it just my turn to text, call, and Skype? Even after this much time together and saying that we love each other, I worry about "bugging" him too much across the miles. We've discussed it before and he's assured me that I'm not bugging him. I just worry too much that when he doesn't initiate contact, it means he's tired of hearing from me. At the same time, I don't want to back off for longer than a weekend because I don't want to send the wrong signal. We're supposed to meet up again this coming weekend and he even suggested the weekend after that, too, since he'll be on a business trip that takes him closer to me. I want to discuss logistics sooner than later but am agonizing over whether to call him before the workweek starts or wait for him to get around to texting or calling.
How does one strike a balance between reading too deeply into these communication glitches, and thinking you messed things up by asking too deep a question? Proofreading my post is making me think I'm freaking out too much, but I crushed on this guy for a long time before we got together and that makes me too afraid of doing something stupid to ruin everything. Thanks for reading all of this!
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