30+ Continue or stop this

[Anonymous1982]

So i met this lovely lady 8 to 9 months ago on facebook. Im from Holland she is from the US.

Im currently working a full time job with no kids living alone, she is unemployed with 2 teenage kids at the moment. All works well we talk daily for hours sometimes we havent fought once and the chats are lovely. For as much as is possible even our sexy chats are lot of fun. We just click very well and i can tell she does love me very much. I get to see her days on pictures and shes a good honest girl i trust her so thats not the problem. Shes trying to learn my language so it shows that she does care and she treats me well..

But....

I feel like i gave too much into sometimes and the lonelyness kicks in. She told me she can wait forever but to my feeling its because she has 2 children that keep her company whilst im sitting alone at home besides work. Although i love this woman very much but it also depresses me to no end sometimes. Its like devoting my life to her whilst she just carries on and waits for me.Our time difference is pretty crazy aswel 6 hours apart so in the weekends i stay up till morning just to talk to her. Its draining me as you can imagine sometimes. On one side i feel so happy to have met her and that im her bf as a start just to be together and assure we stay together...She says i made her life better and that shes happier again and happy to have me...like i said i can rly tell she is in love...

I feel like im in an emotional rollercoaster with high ups and very low downs. It's a mixed feeling of just work save money and go visit her for the first time. I've been in a relationship before for a cpl years aswel on a previous expierence so i know whats it like.

It's becoming so much of a drag that i decided to post on it what to do. On one side im happy to have her on the other side im thinking im working sitting alone saving to go visit her whilst shes just simply going on her with her life waiting for me. It's a bad situation in my opinion. As much as i try to stay positive daily its breaking me apart slowly. It feels like shes settled in with her life and can just wait for me to come over but i feel like it just isnt as simple for me at all....

For now im just trying to find a solution but i havent brought this topic up yet cause it will both break us apart badly and i dont want to break her heart either. So im staying strong but its nagging me.

Im thinking right now just to go to bed on time and slowly distance myself from her and call it quits after a while...just stay friends.... Im still curious how this will go and continue on forward but sometimes i feel like this day will come eventually. We click so well together so this is gonna break my heart so bad... again... I dont wanna break it off just in one day cause it will be horrid yet i have to stay honest aswel about us...

Right now im just thinking about focussing on my own life and slowly distance myself from her... live in my own timezone again...its so hard to tell where this is going since i love her very much....what to do here???

Btw i have been in such a relationship before it lasted a cpl year met her a cpl times but she wasnt the right one this one is but i dont think im ready for this...its confusing what to do here honestly.

[R&R]

Welcome to LFAD.

First, let me say long distance isn't for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. It's especially hard if you feel like you are the only one who is putting in the effort. Any relationship requires effort from both parties to keep it going.

From reading your post, it appears that you have made up your mind. In all honesty, fading out like that is unfair. There is nothing worse than dragging it over who knows how long. Then she will spend weeks and months wondering what is going on and asking you if everything is okay and has she done something wrong, etc. Be honest with her and tell her that this relationship is not what you want and that you have chosen to end the romantic relationship. Yes, it will upset her and she will want to know why. Again, be honest. Will she be heartbroken? Possibly. Will she get over it? Definitely.

Good luck.

[sasad]

I have to agree with R&R. I do want to add that having teenage children doesn't mean we are less lonely. In fact sometimes it's worse not having someone adult to share with. My SO does not have children, and he gets it when I do spend time with the kids. He also knows I go nuts sometimes needing adult time.... Just my 2cents..

[Anonymous1982]

Thank you for your replies. Maybe this is true im just trying to understand all this. Im talking to her again and we talk a lot i just miss her a lot. It feels like im putting the efford in and she prefers just to keep it LDR because of her children perhaps. I couldnt bare to slowly let it fade or give up. But i really need to think about this good before taking action.

In all honesty sometimes i just want to give up but most of the time when im talking to her i dont want give up at all. Its a mixed feeling really.

Im trying to see it my way i could be completetly wrong about how she feels about it thats why its so hard in LDR miss communications and such thank you both for your replies viewing your opinions on this.