Hello -
First post here - I looked around for something similar but did not find anything that helped. I hope this is not too long.
Met a woman in an online chat room, started talking, and really hit is off. I am 50, she is 30. We really enjoyed talking and joking, and gradually had feelings for each other, and started texting and calling. I am getting a divorce, and she is getting her life back together after pretty much losing everything when she and an SO broke up about a year ago. She says it is fate.
I took her on a skype date out on the town to show her my city about 3 weeks ago and she surprised me by saying "I love you". I knew I was starting to feel the same way, so I told her that back.
Just before this, she had gotten more quiet and we stopped talking on the phone, and told me that her hunt for her own place (she lives with family since the break up) was very stressful for her, family not helping much and she was just 3 mos into a new job. She noted a place of her own is really really important to her. She started going 2-3 days without responses. She apologized, and I just told her I would wait to hear from her re: phone. She's said several times she wished I was there, and I do too. I have my own small retail business, so I won't have a chance to go until next year probably.
In meantime, I tried to be upbeat, surprised her with a skype date to a museum ( I have a mobile wifi spot ), a very short "who has the best t-shirt" night (which I won), initiated most of the texts, and let her know that if she needed a shoulder or someone to gripe to, I was here. The skype sessions were ok, but there is lag so not as good as phone.
Well, yesterday she responded to one of my text that she finally has a place and she was incredibly excited. I texted my excitement back, and she sent pictures etc. I asked if I could call, because I wanted to hear her happy voice, and wanted her to hear how happy I was for her. Just a quick call. She was with a friend, and said when she was done, she'd let me know and I could call. But... she never let me know. I waited until she had to have been asleep.
I have to admit, it bummed me out. I have been laying back and not pushing things too hard, trying to not pester her with too many texts etc. because this apt. hunt has been so hard on her, and I have tried to keep a distance. And I really wanted to share that moment with her when she was so excited. Then, I may have stepped in it.
I sent a text, and pretty much said "Hey, sorry we did not talk, I did not intent to ask to call tonight (honest!), but I really wanted to hear her voice briefly during good moment for you, and for you to hear mine be happy for you".
Well, no text all day, and then I sent her a pic of a package that came to make sure it was from her, and we talked a bit about it and she wanted to make sure the shirt fit that she sent me. But the big thing was, no emoticons. No emojis. Flat reponses Very unusual for her. No mention of my text, either angry or apologetic. I sent her pics of me in the shirt, so she could see it fit well, but no response to those yet.
So I have been tying myself up in knots over whether i should have said anything or not, and whether I made her mad, or looked insecure, etc. It did bum me out, but I know it is not always good to say if something bugs you or not. So the question is, do you think I was out of line? Should I have just let it go? Should I bring it up and apologize? Or Should I take this opportunity to talk with her about communication and expectations or wait for her?
First post here - I looked around for something similar but did not find anything that helped. I hope this is not too long.
Met a woman in an online chat room, started talking, and really hit is off. I am 50, she is 30. We really enjoyed talking and joking, and gradually had feelings for each other, and started texting and calling. I am getting a divorce, and she is getting her life back together after pretty much losing everything when she and an SO broke up about a year ago. She says it is fate.
I took her on a skype date out on the town to show her my city about 3 weeks ago and she surprised me by saying "I love you". I knew I was starting to feel the same way, so I told her that back.
Just before this, she had gotten more quiet and we stopped talking on the phone, and told me that her hunt for her own place (she lives with family since the break up) was very stressful for her, family not helping much and she was just 3 mos into a new job. She noted a place of her own is really really important to her. She started going 2-3 days without responses. She apologized, and I just told her I would wait to hear from her re: phone. She's said several times she wished I was there, and I do too. I have my own small retail business, so I won't have a chance to go until next year probably.
In meantime, I tried to be upbeat, surprised her with a skype date to a museum ( I have a mobile wifi spot ), a very short "who has the best t-shirt" night (which I won), initiated most of the texts, and let her know that if she needed a shoulder or someone to gripe to, I was here. The skype sessions were ok, but there is lag so not as good as phone.
Well, yesterday she responded to one of my text that she finally has a place and she was incredibly excited. I texted my excitement back, and she sent pictures etc. I asked if I could call, because I wanted to hear her happy voice, and wanted her to hear how happy I was for her. Just a quick call. She was with a friend, and said when she was done, she'd let me know and I could call. But... she never let me know. I waited until she had to have been asleep.
I have to admit, it bummed me out. I have been laying back and not pushing things too hard, trying to not pester her with too many texts etc. because this apt. hunt has been so hard on her, and I have tried to keep a distance. And I really wanted to share that moment with her when she was so excited. Then, I may have stepped in it.
I sent a text, and pretty much said "Hey, sorry we did not talk, I did not intent to ask to call tonight (honest!), but I really wanted to hear her voice briefly during good moment for you, and for you to hear mine be happy for you".
Well, no text all day, and then I sent her a pic of a package that came to make sure it was from her, and we talked a bit about it and she wanted to make sure the shirt fit that she sent me. But the big thing was, no emoticons. No emojis. Flat reponses Very unusual for her. No mention of my text, either angry or apologetic. I sent her pics of me in the shirt, so she could see it fit well, but no response to those yet.
So I have been tying myself up in knots over whether i should have said anything or not, and whether I made her mad, or looked insecure, etc. It did bum me out, but I know it is not always good to say if something bugs you or not. So the question is, do you think I was out of line? Should I have just let it go? Should I bring it up and apologize? Or Should I take this opportunity to talk with her about communication and expectations or wait for her?
I did ask if there as anything I could do, but she said here was nothing to do
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