I'm so glad to have found this place. I'm hoping there is someone here that has experienced a similar situation and can offer up any advice.
My husband and I have been together 23 years and married 20. After 24 years in the military he retired and took a job in Saudi Arabia. He just left after Christmas to begin his third year there and only comes home for one month each year.
Our relationship has always been strong and I never doubted we could do this for a time. Until his last visit home. He has always worked hard to make his family happy and has always been very attentive to me. But something was very very off this time. He was very affectionate and tried hard to make me feel loved but on some level I felt like he was distant.
On his first night home things in bed didn't go well and it didn't work. He said he was just nervous and anxious. No big deal and we moved on. After a couple of days and him getting settled we tried again, but again nothing at all. I was upset and he rolled over and went to sleep.
The whole month went this way and I just became more and more upset. So many things in my head; I'm losing him because of this job, we've been apart too long, he's not attracted to me anymore...
You know the things that go through a woman's head.
At some point early on in the visit after another failed attempt he said he thought it was the porn he was watching while away to take care of his needs. A quick search on google and I find porn is a major major problem in a mans brain and it actually causes ED. It's all he has all year away and it has done so much damage.
All that said, his visit was very stressful for both of us with me sure I was losing him and him angry with himself and not knowing how to fix it. We talked a lot and cried a lot but didn't know what to do about it. I prayed we would end the visit on a happy note but his last night ended in tears and me on the couch.
After the first two years being fine with this LDR I now feel so desperate to have him back home because I think we're in trouble and how can we fix it with him gone. We have text only, no skype or FaceTime work in Saudi and I feel like if this much damage is done now, how bad is it going to be after yet another year. Unfortunately for financial reasons it just isn't possible right now for him to come home but I am a mess right now and don't know how I'm going to make it through this year.
If anyone has experience with this, I love some words of wisdom.
My husband and I have been together 23 years and married 20. After 24 years in the military he retired and took a job in Saudi Arabia. He just left after Christmas to begin his third year there and only comes home for one month each year.
Our relationship has always been strong and I never doubted we could do this for a time. Until his last visit home. He has always worked hard to make his family happy and has always been very attentive to me. But something was very very off this time. He was very affectionate and tried hard to make me feel loved but on some level I felt like he was distant.
On his first night home things in bed didn't go well and it didn't work. He said he was just nervous and anxious. No big deal and we moved on. After a couple of days and him getting settled we tried again, but again nothing at all. I was upset and he rolled over and went to sleep.
The whole month went this way and I just became more and more upset. So many things in my head; I'm losing him because of this job, we've been apart too long, he's not attracted to me anymore...
You know the things that go through a woman's head.
At some point early on in the visit after another failed attempt he said he thought it was the porn he was watching while away to take care of his needs. A quick search on google and I find porn is a major major problem in a mans brain and it actually causes ED. It's all he has all year away and it has done so much damage.
All that said, his visit was very stressful for both of us with me sure I was losing him and him angry with himself and not knowing how to fix it. We talked a lot and cried a lot but didn't know what to do about it. I prayed we would end the visit on a happy note but his last night ended in tears and me on the couch.
After the first two years being fine with this LDR I now feel so desperate to have him back home because I think we're in trouble and how can we fix it with him gone. We have text only, no skype or FaceTime work in Saudi and I feel like if this much damage is done now, how bad is it going to be after yet another year. Unfortunately for financial reasons it just isn't possible right now for him to come home but I am a mess right now and don't know how I'm going to make it through this year.
If anyone has experience with this, I love some words of wisdom.
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