30+ First time possible LDR

[Bluecarman]

I met a girl a few month's ago on social media. We would chit chat every now and then, and it wasn't until recently we've began to really talk. We talk through fb messager and not our phones( guess that's common). The distant's is not a huge issue. I live in Oklahoma and she lives in the corner of Texas, it's a little over 8 hours if I went to vist. We haven't discussed visiting yet, still in the long messager talks all day. We're I am getting confused is that she will flirt and say the nicest things about me, send me pictures of her being cute and what not, all sorts of emojies, or random texts just out of the blue, but referd to me the other day as a friend. She has openly said when we started talking she liked me a lot and I told her I was very fond of her as well. I do like her a lot and I wanna see if she feels the same. the friend comment threw me off. I don't wanna go down the road liking someone and hearing about other men that come into her life. Maybe I'm confused because this is the first ever possible LDR I have engaged in, and possibly I'm missing if any underlining clues and was she to shy to say anything other than friend. In a face to face I can tell how it's said and know how it is actually ment, over messages I can not. I don't know how to find out without being obviously just saying it, don't want the feeling of rejection over a message, again face to face I'm fine with any situation. Sorry for the first timer LDR questions and the confusion of how men and women work over strictly messages at the moment.

[R&R]

Welcome to LFAD. The only way you are going to know for sure where this is heading is to ask her. Unless the two of you have had a discussion to state an exclusive relationship, then you are just a friend.

If you really ony want to do it face to face, then why not plan a weekend visit? You can get yourself a hotel room to stay in and then meet up for dinner. If all goes well, maybe you can meet again the next day before you head back. It may be well worth the money for the weekend to find out and get the peace of mind to know what is going on.

[Sparkling72]

Maybe she wasn't sure what to call you, other than a friend. From a gal's point of view, I would be paranoid to call you a "boyfriend" out of fear that you'd turn around say "where did you get that idea from? I'm not your BF!" and be utterly embarrassed. Even the first few times my boyfriend came out to visit me in person, I called him my "friend" when introducing him because we weren't "committed" But that's just me. You have to discuss your feelings with her as well as your intentions. LDRs are built primarily on open communication - it's all we have to do is talk, text, and email.

[hmrambling]

I'm a fan of being direct. When I say 'being direct', I mean to communicate that I don't intend on chatting via Facebook messenger perpetually. In the past, I asked for the girl's number or gave her mine. I even told her what times I was available for a phone call so that she would not be guessing about what time I was available. I figured that if she was interested that she would call... and she did. There were others who would not call. My point is that I didn't get in the business of guessing. I'm not a mind reader. Neither is she.

She didn't know by messaging me whether or not she wanted to be dating... let alone be my girlfriend. We talked on the phone, and then met, and then talked about exclusivity. At no point did either of us assume that we were a couple until we talked about exclusivity.

I'll always suggest talking on the phone over messaging; as well as communicating over mind reading.

[Chris516]

[OP, What you are experiencing. Is the same sort of stuff that two people in a non-LDR relationship would be going through. The big difference is, communication solely by messenger is not good. Unless use of the 'smiles' is used to accentuate what you are trying to convey.