This is my first time posting on here and I'm here because the people in my life don't understand why I'm even trying this relationship.
Long story short my SO and I started talking back in March on a dating site. We both agreed that the distance wouldn't be an issue. We text everyday, although often I'm the one to initiate the contact. We met a couple weekends ago for the first time and although he assures that he's still interested in me I find myself struggling to believe him. Before we met he would flirt more, and even though I've given him the go ahead to be a little bit more sexual in his texts, he really hasn't taken the cue. I have given him every opportunity to get out of this relationship and I've been completely clear about how I feel. He tells me that I'm not in it alone but when I express a concern he tells me that I worry too much. I try to get him to commit to plans and he says, "I want to see you" but won't commit. I understand, honestly. He has a young daughter that he has a lot and that we're not ready for me to meet. And the upcoming vacation that he's got closer to where I am is with his family, who he only sees once a year. But still I feel it's important for us to start trying to normalize our relationship as much as we can because we have talked about a future together.
I haven't had a relationship, ever really. I've recently lost a lot of weight and so there are self esteem issues at play. I'm not sexually experienced and he's divorced with a child. I also struggle with high levels of anxiety, which he doesn't seem to understand. I'm a planner, he's not. When I say that to him he just says, "Well you're gonna have to get used to it because I don't have everything planned out." Don't judge him too harshly. That's just his personality, and it's part of what I like about him. I don't want to feel like I'm riding him about my anxiety or seeing each other but my anxiety makes this very difficult.
I should be clear I don't question that he's loyal to me. I'm just questioning how much work he's willing to put into making this work and comments like the one above make me feel like he expects me to be the one to do all the bending. I'm willing to do a lot but it has to be for a partner, and I don't know if that's what I have.
I'm also wondering if anyone has any advise on how to broach sensitive subjects with a less than sensitive man. I don't want to seem like I'm on his back all the time but I need to set up a texting schedule with him and try and get him to work with me on my anxiety instead of just telling me not to worry. Am I expecting too much out of such a young relationship, even though we're both looking at a future together?
Long story short my SO and I started talking back in March on a dating site. We both agreed that the distance wouldn't be an issue. We text everyday, although often I'm the one to initiate the contact. We met a couple weekends ago for the first time and although he assures that he's still interested in me I find myself struggling to believe him. Before we met he would flirt more, and even though I've given him the go ahead to be a little bit more sexual in his texts, he really hasn't taken the cue. I have given him every opportunity to get out of this relationship and I've been completely clear about how I feel. He tells me that I'm not in it alone but when I express a concern he tells me that I worry too much. I try to get him to commit to plans and he says, "I want to see you" but won't commit. I understand, honestly. He has a young daughter that he has a lot and that we're not ready for me to meet. And the upcoming vacation that he's got closer to where I am is with his family, who he only sees once a year. But still I feel it's important for us to start trying to normalize our relationship as much as we can because we have talked about a future together.
I haven't had a relationship, ever really. I've recently lost a lot of weight and so there are self esteem issues at play. I'm not sexually experienced and he's divorced with a child. I also struggle with high levels of anxiety, which he doesn't seem to understand. I'm a planner, he's not. When I say that to him he just says, "Well you're gonna have to get used to it because I don't have everything planned out." Don't judge him too harshly. That's just his personality, and it's part of what I like about him. I don't want to feel like I'm riding him about my anxiety or seeing each other but my anxiety makes this very difficult.
I should be clear I don't question that he's loyal to me. I'm just questioning how much work he's willing to put into making this work and comments like the one above make me feel like he expects me to be the one to do all the bending. I'm willing to do a lot but it has to be for a partner, and I don't know if that's what I have.
I'm also wondering if anyone has any advise on how to broach sensitive subjects with a less than sensitive man. I don't want to seem like I'm on his back all the time but I need to set up a texting schedule with him and try and get him to work with me on my anxiety instead of just telling me not to worry. Am I expecting too much out of such a young relationship, even though we're both looking at a future together?
Good luck!
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